if there is one thing i have learned from falling in love

it is to stand up no matter how painful the cuts...

to fight for what i believe in...

and

to wait ...

because even if i think now is the is the right time to give extra effort

waiting is more worth it...

especially if i love that person so much...

My japanese name (pinilit ko lang ito... wahahahaha)

Your Japanese Name Is...

Sakura Kajuji

What's your Japanese Name?

Nerd!

You Are 32% Nerdy

You're a little nerdy, but no one would ever call you a nerd. You sometimes get into nerdy things, but only after they've become a part of mainstream culture.

How Nerdy Are You?

Story (na naman na hindi matatapos) - I will wait forever - Chapter 13

I WILL WAIT FOREVER – CHAPTER 13 – Reality

Summer ended when the rain started to fall that May. By the first week of June, another school year has begun. Rica, Justin, Ryan and Macy are now on their sophomore year in college. Being back in the university means going back to their responsibilities. For Macy, it’s going back to reality. They decided to kept their relationship a secret, so it means that she would act as Ryan’s friend whenever they’re at the school.

It was the first day of school. While waiting for her next class, she decided to watch Ryan’s soccer practice. The moment Ryan saw her, he waved at her. She simply smiled at her, and then she sat on the bench. Just then, Rica and Justin came. “Hey girl!” Rica greeted. “Hi Rica! So how’s your class?” she said. Rica sat beside her while Justin remained standing. “It was OK… I’m starting with my major subject for Fine Arts… how about you?”
“Still doing great in Engineering, I guess…” she replied. “Aren’t you girls going to ask about me?” Justin said when he noticed that none of them are asking him how his class was. Rica rolled her eyes at him, “We already know how your class went. There’s no need for us to ask about it.” She said sarcastically. “Fine.” He said. “Can you just move a little to the left so that I could sit?”

They watched as Ryan practiced. They cheered for him each time he hits the goal. After the practice, Ryan said goodbye to his teammates. The three were about to meet him, when a girl approached Ryan, hugged him and gave him a kiss. They talked for a while, then he looked back at his friends and waved goodbye.

Macy felt her world began to fall. She got jealous of what she saw, and there were questions on her mind. “Who is that girl? Why did she do that to Ryan?” she thought. She wanted to get mad at Ryan, but there’s nothing that she can do. Everything about them is a secret. The only people that know about them are Justin and Rica.

Rica knew that what they saw might affect Macy. “Are you OK?” she asked. “I wonder who the hell that bitch it1” she continued. Macy wanted to cry, but she tried to keep the tear from falling. “It’s OK, Macy…” Justin said as he went near her and consoled her. “I’ll talk to Ryan later…”

===================================================================

Justin waited Ryan until his last class finished. As soon as Ryan went out of the classroom, he immediately approached him. “Hey, dude!” Ryan said the moment he saw Justin. “What’s up? What time if your next class?”
“My classes are finished. I really wanted to talk to you that’s why I stayed this late here at school…”

They went to Ryan’s locker. “So what is it that you want to talk about?” he asked Justin as he put his things inside the locker. “We were watching your soccer practice a while ago…” Justin began. “Yeah, I saw you guys a while ago…”
“And I assume that you saw your girlfriend, Macy, with us. Is that correct?” Justin put the emphasis on the world girlfriend. He said it in a very sarcastic way that could annoy Ryan. “Of course, I saw my angel…” Ryan answered, still not noticing the sarcasm in Justin’s tone. “And I also assume that you know that we saw you when a certain girl came up to you and kissed you. And may I remind you that it happened right before our very eyes… right in front of your angel…” Justin continued.

Ryan stopped from what he was doing, and looked at Justin. He remembered that girl, came up to him and kissed her. “I… I knew that she saw…” he said. He suddenly felt guilty of what he did during the practice. The truth is, the girl is one of those she was dating during his freshmen – in short, she was already his girlfriend. She was the girl whom she was being set-up with by his teammates. “Ooohhh… so the big man on campus knew that his nerdy girlfriend was watching him when the bitchy girl went up to him and kissed him! Good job, my friend!” Justin said sarcastically. Ryan remained silent. Justin began to be serious as he talked to Ryan. “When I confronted you last summer, you told me that you won’t date other girls while you’re with Macy. Aside from keeping your relationship with Macy a secret, what else are you planning to do to hurt her?”
“I am not hurting her!” Ryan said defensively. “Yes you are, Ryan! For Christ’s sake, aren’t you going to change for the girl you love? Aren’t you going to be man enough and stand up for her?”
“I love her!”
“No you’re not!”

Justin stopped arguing with Ryan for a while. He let out a deep breath and composed himself. “Ryan, I know you love her, and I know you’re not ready to give up your ‘reputation’. I just want you to know that I’m your friend, and I’m your devil’s advocate. Whatever happens, I’ll be here for you and Macy…”

After saying that, Justin left. Ryan knew that what he have done is really wrong. He have to find Macy and apologize to her.

===================================================================

Ryan tried to find Macy around the campus. He finally saw Macy at the bus stop. The moment he saw her, he stopped and car and got out. “Macy…” he said. Macy tried to walk away from him, but Ryan followed her. “Macy, please… let me explain…” he said. “There’s no need to explain…” she said as she walked away from him. He reached for her arms to stop her. Macy looked back at him. “Ryan…” she said in a low voice. “They might see us…”
“I don’t care. I want to talk to you…”

They got inside the car. They were silent as Ryan drove her home. “I understand….” She finally said. “You really have don’t explain anything. I know that you have to do it to please your teammates…” she continued. Ryan looked at her. He observed her eyes, and he could see that it was swollen. “She cried because of me…” he thought.

“Justin explained everything to me. I’m really OK. You have nothing to worry about…” Macy continued. “Macy…”
“Our relationship is a secret. I guess you have to do your old ways so that they won’t suspect… I respect your decision…”

Ryan was silent as he listened to her. “Macy… I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
“It’s really OK, Ryan.”

Before she got out of the car, she smiled at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” she said happily. Before she opened the gate to their house, Ryan got out of the car and walked towards her. “Macy,” he called. Macy looked back at him. He went near her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I love you…” he whispered to her ears.

Macy watched him as he drove away. She knew that she have to adjust herself, for this relationship to work. She also knows that she have to stay strong for him. “But until when am I going to be on the sidelines?” she asked herself.



To be continued...

Story (na naman na hindi matatapos) - I will wait forever - Chapter 12

I WILL WAIT FOREVER – CHAPTER 12 – A Summer Memory


Three more days remaining from their vacation. Ryan wanted to make most out it. He also want to make it memorable for him, and Macy. Whenever he goes, he makes sure that Macy’s with her. Whenever they stroll at the beach, Ryan would get a stick and write their names on the sand. They watch as the sea wash up their writings on the sand.

“What if you realized that you didn’t really love me at all?” Macy once asked as she watched Ryan wrote her name on the sand. Ryan looked up at her and smile. “That wouldn’t happen…” he assured her. “What if you did? What if after this summer, everything just changes?”

Ryan stopped scribbling, “Maybe a few things will change…” he said. “but one thing’s for sure – I will always love you…”

Macy didn’t answer and gave him a faint smile. Ryan noticed her silence. “Is there something wrong? Did I say something that you didn’t liked?” he asked. “No, I’m just happy that you’re here with me…”

Ryan walked towards her, He looked into her eyes, as he cupped his cheek onto his palm. “I know this set-up’s difficult for you…but, I hope you understand that I’m not yet ready to commit myself to you…”

Macy smiled at him. “I told you, I’m willing to wait until you’re ready…” she said. “There’s one more thing…”she heard him said. “I hope it’s OK with you…”
“I know what you’re going to say…” she said, interrupting Ryan. “You want to keep this thing a secret?”
Ryan bit his lips as he slowly nodded his head. “I understand… It’s OK with me…” she said. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”

Ryan hugged her tight. “Thank you, my angel.”

==================================================================================

They went back to Manila after a week’s stay at Justin’s vacation house. Whenever they had a chance, they would spend a day together. They would either hang out the mall, or at the park. Whenever Macy’s mom gave them permission, they would drive outside the city, and stroll at the beach.

During her birthday, Ryan surprised her. He arranged a candlelit dinner at the park near her house. Before they went to the park, he put a blindfold on her eyes. He held her hands as he lead her to the park. “Tell me what’s this all about, please?” she pleaded. She was excited about his surprise for her. “If I tell you now, then it wouldn’t be a surprise!”

As they reached their spot, he carefully took off her blindfold. “Don’t peek! At the count of three, open your eyes. One… Two… Three…” She gently opened her eyes. She was surprised when she saw a table, filled with all of her favorite foods. At the center of the table are three lighted candles, with a bunch of rosebuds around it. She was speechless when she saw his surprise. “Wow…” she finally said. She turned to Ryan, who was smiling at her. “Is this really for me?” she asked. Ryan simply nodded. “This surprise is for my angel…” he said.

He helped her to her seat, then he took the seat in front of her. They shared a sumptuous dinner, as the talked about things, and joked around. After dinner, he asked Macy to dance with him. “But there’s no music?” she protested. “Just pretend there is music…” he said. He held her hand, she put his other hand on his shoulder, and he put his arms around her waist. They started to dance. “Isn’t this fun?” he said, still smiling at her. “She smiled and nodded. As they danced, they sang some of their favorites songs, although they would make fun of the songs that they sing.

After a while, they went back to their table. “I have another surprise for you.” He said as he helped her to her seat. He took out a long, blue velvety box, and opened it. Inside the box is a silver angel pendant. “Oh my God! This is too much, Ryan.” She said as he took out the necklace. He wore the necklace around her neck. “This will be you guardian angel…” he said.

Tears of joy began to fall from her eyes. She was so thankful for all the things that Ryan gave her. She felt so lucky to have him. “Even though our relationship’s a secret, I’m so thankful to have him in life…” she thought. Ryan hugged her, and he kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, Macy…” he whispered to her. “I love you too...”

Her only wish for her birthdays is be always this happy, and to be always with Ryan. She wished that nothing’s going to change between them. But, as the saying goes, not all good things last…

Story (na naman na hindi matatapos) - I will wait forever - Chapter 11

I WILL WAIT FOREVER CHAPTER 11 – The confrontation


Justin talked to Ryan after they went to the basement. He didn’t know what Ryan’s intentions are, but there’s one thing that he’s sure of - Macy is special for him, more special than any other girl that he dated.

“I don’t need to explain why I did what I did a while ago…” Ryan said as soon as they were in their room. “No, I’m not going to confront you about that. I just want to know what you really want…”

Ryan looked at him. “Justin… I love her…” he said in a low voice. Justin was finally relieved when Ryan told him the truth, but at the same time, he was scared that his friend might hurt Macy. “Are you sure with that?”
“I am… nobody made me feel this way… nobody cared about me like she does… I love her, and I know that she loves me as well…”
“And are you ready to commit yourself to her?”

Commitment. This is the word that Ryan was trying to avoid all of his life. He never got serious with all of his so-called girlfriends because he’s afraid to be tied down to just one person. He wanted to explore things. Telling Macy that he loves her means that he must commit himself to her. But deep down, he knows that he’s still not ready.

“I… I’m not sure… I’m not sure if I am ready for a commitment…” he answered. Justin shook his head in dismay. He was disappointed, because he thought Ryan would change for Macy. “So you’re saying that you will continue with your old ways while going steady with Macy? That’s absurd!”
“We haven’t really talked about it… we were supposed to until you and Rica opened the door…”

Ryan looked outside the window, and he saw Macy by the beach, watching the sea and the stars. “I love her… but I don’t know if I’m ready… and I’m scared to hurt her…” he said. “And besides,” he continued. “I feel that if we got together, people in school wouldn’t understand why a popular guy like e would fall in love with an ordinary girl like her…”
“Or are you afraid that people would laugh at you when they found out that your girlfriend is the class nerd?” Justin said. “Why Ryan? Is your reputation as the Big Man on Campus still matters to you?” he continued.

Ryan lowered his head as he listened to Justin. “Man… you must be insane! Don’t tell me you’ll be giving up the girl you love just for reputation…”
“We can keep everything a secret until…”
“Until you can be proud of her? Until all the people would stop laughing at her? You’re really insane…” Justin said, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’re my best friend…”
“No, Justin. Until I’m ready to tell the world that I love her…”
“And you’ll still go out with other girls?”
“No!”

Justin let out a big sigh. He know that no matter what he says to his friend, he wouldn’t follow him. “Let me remind you, that you once lost your best friend because of that stupid popularity thing… I don’t want you to lose the girl you love just because of it…”

After that, he left Ryan alone in the room.


Ryan decided to join Macy at the beach. He have to talk about them. “I have to tell her…” he thought. He wen behind him and put his arms around her. “Hey…”

Something to be worried about...

Qos April EOM - 50%
QOS May Week 3 - 57.14

Should I start to worry?

Good Old Times...

Inaamin kong hanggang ngayon, nakatago pa rin yung mga high school stuffs ko. Anjan yung mga Cattleya notebooks ko nung 4th year sa mga ilang subjects, yung mga notes na pinapasa namin ng tropa pag walang magawa, yung mga stories na pinipilit kung tapusin pero hind talaga matapos, yung nagiisang chapter ng "Bonny Rustics" na nasa akin (although hindi ko alam kung nasan na yun, tsaka yung chapter na sinundan nun), mga letters, mga larong ginawa namin, mga poems, lyrics, diary, quizzes, grades, chuva, eklavu... yung mga stuffs na ganun lang.

For so many years, meron akong memory box na tinatago-tago. Importante kasi yun sa kin. Lahat ng rare stationeries ko, dun ko nilalagay dati. Yung mga cute things, mga letters, sticker, frienship bracelet nung nagpunta kami ng Fair ng Claret, ticket sa concert, lahat ng may importanteng memory nakalagay dun.

Sayang lang nga, hindi lahat ng sulat, naitago ko. Hindi lahat ng story, na preserve ko. Merong particular letter pa nga nun na nabasa ng nanay ko, kasi akala nya nag-aaway kami ni Pie dahil nga sa tsismis sa kanya dati sa school about kay... basta siya. Meron din dati binigay si Pie sa kin na newspaper clip na may quotations from the book ng "Thick Face, Black Heart" (sana tama yung title...) pero nung minsan na tiningnan ko yung memory box ko, wala na.

Nung nagcollege naman ako, triny ko na magkaron ulit ng memory box, pero wala naman akong masyadong mailagay dun aside sa CM ko nung 1st yr. - 1st sem at yung grade ko at midterm test permit. Yun lang. Nagpasya kasi ako na hindi masyadong masaya ang karanasan ko nung college (lalo na ang love life) kaya di na lang ako gagawa ng memory box for college.

Matagal ko na rin hindi nabubuksan yung mga gamit ko nung high school. For sure, kinakalawang na yung memory box ko. For sure, brown na yung mga papel na ginamit ko nung high school para sa pagsusulat. Minsan, masarap halungkatin ang mga lumang gamit na ito at alalahanin yung taong nagdaan. Nakakatuwa, dati kasi nagmamadali akong lumaki. Nagmamadali akong tumanda. Nagrerebelde ako kasi sa palagay ko, hindi binibigay nila ko yung freedom na hinahanap ko. Parang ang sarap isipin, na noong unang panahon, isa ka lang musmos na naghahanap sa sarili at unti-unting bumubuo ng pangarap. Parang walang problema, at kung meron man, siguro yung mahirap na problem lang sa trigo, or kung paano mag-bake ng choco chip cookies sa THE. Pero ngayon...

someday, we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to love,

get hurt, cry and fight.

maybe when that time comes,

we will all be laughing at our old dumb selves realizing how stupid we were

to stand up for things we knew weren't really meant for us.

but i guess learning takes time and mistakes makes one's journey fun.

life is what we make it.

love makes the world go round.

so let's live and take whatever pain it brings.

love can not give a guarantee of permanence.

it can only give you the opportunity to do your best to nurture it.

when you hold someone,

hold them like it's the last time you will ever see them...

and when they go,

don't make reasons for them to stay...

only reasons for them to return...

sometimes it's not love...

sometimes, i have just become so attached

that i have developed a need for that person...

just a NEED...

NOT love...

but i am too scared to admit it,

even to myself...

cause i know that if i do,

i might lose the only person

that actually gives a damn about my life!

when you fall in love,

you go into a state of insanity,

where you lose control of yourself,

consciously or unconsciously.

what matters is,

you fall in love with someone

who won't take advantage of your insanity,

but will respect you and take the responsibility

of being loved by an insane person...

the heart sometimes speaks so much feelings

to someone we thought was listening.

and it hurts so much to realize

the person you have been speaking to

never really dared to understand,

nor tried to listen...

never...

every tear of sadness that we shed

for a person we love,

is a capsule of memory

that we have to leave behind...

never cheat on someone who showed you

what love means...

cause only when it's too late

that you will realize

you have lost something you would never, ever have again...

Story (na naman na hindi matatapos): I will wait forever - chapter 10

I WILL WAIT FOREVER - CHAPTER 10 - Confusion



Macy decided to go to the beach that night. It has been hours ago since Ryan kissed her, and their friends caught them. "My first kiss..." she thought as she touched her lips. Since that incident, she was not able to talk to Ryan, but Rica talked to her as soon as they got out of the basement.

"Oh my God... he kissed you" Rica said the moment they reached their room. She answered her by nodding her head. She was still in a daze, and she still doesn't know how her friend would react on what they saw. Rica took a pillow, put it on her face, and shrieked. "I'm so happy for you my friend!" Rica said after she shrieked. Macy can see by her smile how happy she is for her. "Why did it happened? I mean... have you told Ryan?"
"I did somehow... but not directly..." she answered.
"What did he said?"

Rica was so eager to learn all the juicy details about her confession to Ryan. "He said... it's not hard for him to fall in love with me... then he kissed me..." Rica shrieked again. "Oh my God... I think he has feelings for you as well... this is so cool!" she said.

Macy was just smiling. "I... I can't believe I told him that..." she said. Rica held her hand and smiled at her. "But girl," she started. "you still should be careful. We both know Ryan's a playboy, and he might just hurt you..."
"I know... but who knows? Maybe I could change his ways... maybe he'll change..."
"Don't worry, no matter what, I'll always be here for you... and if he hurts you... I'll kill him..."

They both laughed at what Rica said. At the back of her mind, she is still confused. Does Ryan really have feelings for her?

Her mind drifted to where she is right now. Since that incident, she have never seen or talked to Ryan. "Maybe, he really didn't mean to do that..." she thought. She heard from Rica that Justin was talking to him. It was a long talk. "Were they talking about me?" she thought.

Just then, she felt an arm wrapped around her shoulder. She looked back, and she saw Ryan behind her. "Hey..." he said, smiling at her. She smiled back at him. "I heard that Justin talked to you..." she said to him. "Yeah... well... he asked what happened..."
"What did you tell him?"
"I told him that we talked... then it happened..."

Ryan hugged her tighter as they watch the waves at the sea. "I guess what we need to talk now is about us..." he said to Macy. Macy looked back at him, with a confused look on her face. "I like you Macy... not just as a friend...but, I'm scared to hurt you.."

Macy put his head on his shoulder as she listened to him. "If there would be one girl that I'll be committed to, it would be you... but I'm still confused... I want to be with you, but at the same time I'm scared that I won't be a good boyfriend to you... I like you but I don't know if you would be able to accept my world... I love you, but I don't think I'm ready for a commitment..."

"I understand what you mean, Ryan. I've been having thoughts about it..." she said. "I know I shouldn't have told you that I love you... I... I just didn't why I did what I did a while ago..."
"There's nothing wrong with it, Macy. The problem is me..."

Even though Ryan won't tell her, she knows that there's one thing that's getting in his way - his reputation in school. "I will just ruin it if everybody started to see us dating..." she thought. "I won't get in your way, Ryan. If you think that we should just stay as friends, then I'll understand..." she finally said after being silent for a while. Ryan shook his head. "You're not just a friend, Macy. You're special... you're my angel...what I'm asking right now from you is time to be ready to commit myself to you..."

Macy nodded. "If you need time, I'll give you time. I can wait forever, until you're ready..."



To be continued...

Note:
Teka... bat parang nagkabaligtad ata... di ba dapat yung girl yung manghihingi ng time? Oh welll... thanks to my distorted mind...

Note ulit:
All chapters will be revised once the story is finished ;)

The Best Version of You

***got this from an e-mail... one of my faves since I'm a sucker for tragic love stories... (just like my story.... hehehe)

The Best Version of You


Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It's been two years since she had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not much has changed. Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street.

"Promise me something will you? Please don't get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack.

"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won't run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."

"Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as soon I get to New York." That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn't get the time to chat with him and buy a
webcam.

She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off.

"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug.

"Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we'll have more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She's been waiting for you. She insist that we go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She also insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a
hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I'm with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"

"I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?"
"Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York? Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel has met Edward when he came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata…"

"Balak na?"

"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito
si Miguel?"

"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house. She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can't remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo 'wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon."

"Po?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really good to be back in this house. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."
"Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though. Whatever happens you'll always be my daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancée`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn't swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back
as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm getting married on Saturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him. She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to
it's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it.

"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I'm sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea's and Miguel's college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs. Except that this is
not one of those days… Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel's fiancée`.

Bea's phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.

"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's. Oh I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiancée`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I'll call you later. I have very good news for you."

Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel's gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not.
Bea and I were never like that."

"As in?" Sugar inquired.

"LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can't keep up with her. She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.

"I guess that's the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment.

"Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.

"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."

Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."

*********

The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride.

"I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find
us."

Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

**********

Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.

"Hay, here we go again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"

"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days dib a?"

"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she's not as ambitious as you are. When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don't have a place in the life you've chosen. I don't blame you for that. You're good in your field and I thought to myself that it's your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar. She's so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."

She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.

"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.

"Wait, I'm not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"

Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."

Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in New York."

Dream Sequence

Di ko alam kung bakit kita pinaginipan kagabi. Di naman kita iniisip, at alam kong hindi ka na laman ng subconscious mind ko dahil tanging si Wu Zun na lang ang laman ng puso at isip ko. OK naman tayo sa panaginip ko... sa katunyan friendships ever na nga daw tayo, pero bakit ganun? Talaga bang kailangang may kissing scene pa tayo sa panaginip ko? Duh... nakakatuwa sya pero hindi nakakatawa.

Hindi naman ako galit sa yo, baka ikaw yung galit pa sa kin. Nagtataka lang ako kung bakit ikaw pa rin... samantalang 2 years ago, narealize ko na hindi na pala worth it mag-antay sa yo...

Hindi kaya magkikita tayo ulit? Nakakatuwa naman kung ganun. Ilang years na rin naman kitang hindi nakikita simula nung inaasar kita. Papansinin mo pa ba ako pag nagkita tayo?

Hindi na siguro madadaan ng isang libong beses na sorry yung lahat ng kalokohang pinaggagawa ko sayo. May dahilan kung bakit. May itinatago akong lihim kaya ko nagawa yun. Kung ano man yun, wag mo nang alamin kasi hindi mo rin maiintindihan...

Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit kita napaginipan...

Freezer

Kamusta naman ang mga ilong nating nagyeyelo?
Mainit pa sa labas pero dito'y mukha na tayong snowman
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto nilang mangyari
Gusto ba nilang mamatay tayo sa lamig
O mapreserve tayo?
Hindi na umuubra yung jacket ko
Maski yung paa kong mag makapal na medyas giniginaw na
Nakahood na nga ako, ramdam ko pa rin yung lamig
Tangina naman... HINAAN NYO NAMAN ANG AIRCON!!!



another lousy poem by me

Meantime Girl

What's a meantime girl?
>
>
> She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh.
She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to
lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date
to
> your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with
> on a Saturday night.

She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light.

She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable ? she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.

You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell....her how the date went. She's just so cool...

.. . why can't all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs ? she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too.

A lot.

And someday we won't be around.

Ako ay isang bulaklak ng santan

Nasa university avenue na pala. Nakita ko ulit yung mga sunflower na nakatanim sa gitna. Yung iba, maganda pa rin. Pero, karamihan sa mga bulaklak ay nalalanta na. Tag-ulan na kasi. Naalala ko tuloy yung usapan namin noon...

"Wow... ang gaganda naman ng mga roses na ito. Sino naman ang pagbibigyan mo nito ha?" ngiting-tanong ko sa kanya. "Para kay Maggie yan... Maganda ba? Sa tingin mo, magugustuhan kaya niya?" "Oo naman. Kahit naman sinong babae, kapag bibigyan mo ng 1 dozen red roses, siguradong, matutuwa. Hindi ba nga sabi nila, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the way to a woman's heart, is through flowers. Suwerte naman ni Maggie. Tanong ko lang, bakit nga ba roses ang pinili mo at hindi gerbera, o kaya, tulips, para mas lalong ma-impress?" "Kasi, para sa akin, tulad siya ng isang rose..." "Wow... ginagawa mo namang bulaklak ang mga babae niyan. Huwag mong sabihin na lahat ng mga past girlfriends mo eh naka-associate sa flowers?" Nakataas ang kilay kong tanong sa kanya. "What if sabihin ko sa iyo na lahat sila ay naka-associate sa flowers," pabirong sagot niya. "This is quite an interesting topic. Sige nga, anong klaseng mga flowers sina Alexie, Guia, Lenny?" "Si Guia ay daisy kasi friendly siya, si Alexie ay tulips kasi napakaganda niya.... oh bakit ganyan ang tingin mo sa akin?" "Wala naman, naisip ko lang na kapag lahat ng babae ay naka-associate sa flowers... I'm just wondering kung meron ding bulaklak na naka-associate sa akin?" "Meron nga..." "Ano naman yun? Dapat lang maganda ha. Dahil kung hindi, hindi kita kakausapin for the rest of our college days. Hmmm... maganda ang sunflower. Favorite flowers ko iyan, sunflower ba?" "Maganda ang sunflower. Yellow and bright colors... gaya mo na palaging masaya. Pero hindi ka sunflower. Para sa akin, isa kang halaman ng santan," sabi niya habang nakatitig sa akin. "Bulaklak ng santan? Ano ba namang klaseng association iyan? Ok I get it, santan... ordinaryo, simple, palagi mong makikita kahit saan..." Nakangiti ako sa kanya pero sa loob ko, sa puso ko, nasasaktan ako... Mahal ko siya. Minamahal ko siya kahit hindi niya ako mahal. Siguro naghihintay lang akong mahalin niya rin ako sa pagdating ng panahon pero patuloy pa ba akong aasa sa binitawan niyang salita? Ano ba naman ang laban ng isang santan sa rose, sa daisy, o sa tulips? Tinitigan ko siya. Buti na lang, nakatutok ang atensiyon niya sa pagdra-drive at sa daan, kung hindi nakita na niya sana ang lungkot na lumatay sa mukha ko. Tama, wala na akong pag-asa. Kailangan ko na talagang gumising sa pananaginip. Hindi niya ako magugustuhan. At lalong-lalo ng hindi niya ako mamahalin. Minsan ko pa siyang tinitigan. Nakangiti siya. Masaya siya dahil merong rose sa buhay niya. Hindi ko iyon makakaya. Ako na lang ang lalayo para sa kanila. Sa wakas, nakarating din ako sa UP Chapel. Pagkatapos kong maiparada ang aking sasakyan, bumaba ako at tinungo ang entrance. Nakita ko kaagad ang isang matandang babae, at ng makilala niya ako, agad niya akong sinalubong at niyakap. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, inakay niya ako sa loob at nabungaran ko ang pagkadami-daming bulaklak. Sa gitna noon, nandoon ang isang puting kabaong. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit at tinunghayan ang taong nasa loob noon. Iyon pa rin ang mukhang palagi kong nakikita walong taon na ang nakakaraan. Katulad pa rin siya ng dati. Nasa ganoon akong posisyon ng lumapit ulit ang matandang babae, may ibinigay siya sa akin. Isang puting sobre. Agad kong binuksan at binasa ang nakasulat... Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Pero hindi ko binabawi na sinabi kong isa kang santan. Para sa akin, ang santan ang pinakamaganda sa lahat ng bulaklak. Tama ka, ito ay karaniwan, simple, palagi mong nakikita sa daan. Pero ang taong katulad ng santan ay bihira lamang. Dahil kung ikaw ay santan, kahit hindi ka alagaan at kahit anong bagyo ang dumating sa buhay mo, mabubuhay ka pa rin. Mamumulaklak ka pa rin. Ganoong tao ka para sa akin. Katulad sa university avenue ng UP, summer lang itinatanim ang sunflower dahil hindi nila kakayanin ang ulan at bagyo. Pero ang santan, nakatanim dun kahit anong panahon. Pang-summer lang ang sunflower. Ang santan, panghabambuhay. Parang ikaw.

Palaging nagmamahal sa iyo habambuhay, Christian.

Story (na naman na hindi matatapos): I will wait forever - chapter 9 - Part 2

I WILL WAIT FOREVER - CHAPTER 9 - Confession - Part 2



They say that the most painful thing in the world to be close to the one you love, and yet you know that you can never have him. Macy knew this right from the start. She knew that she shouldn't have fallen in love with him at the first place. Knowing Ryan, she will never be his type.

She watched him from their room as his stroll by the beach. She watched him as he through the stone to the sea, and stare into into the horizon. "I wonder what he's thinking about..." she thought.
Macy decided to follow Ryan at the beach. By the time, she was able to reach the place, Ryan was sitting by the on a bench near the shore. "Hey..." she said. Ryan looked up at her and smiled. "Can I join you?"
"Sure..." he said.

Again, there was silence between them. They watched the sea as it reached the sandy shore. "I don't know what happened between us..." Ryan began, in an attempt to break their silence. "I thought we agreed to forget the whole thing..."
"I... I'm sorry... it's just that... some things have changed...." she said in a low voice. "My feelings have changed for you..." she said to herself, silently. "Is it because you're still mad?"
"No... no... I'm not mad... it's just that... "

She was already lost for words. She doesn't know how to explain to Ryan that she already sees him in a different light, without being too obvious about her feelings for him. "It's just that... there are things that I really can't tell you now..." she continued. Ryan put her arms around her, then she put his head on his shoulder. "I wish we could always be together this way..." he said. "I just wish that you wouldn't avoid me anymore..."

===================================================================

The next day, the four were preparing the food for their picnic at the beach. Justin remembered the barbecue griller at their basement, so he asked Ryan to get it. "Please man... we can't cook the barbecue if we don't have a grill..." he said. "OK... fine... I'll get it..." Ryan said. "It's to heavy for you to handle... why don't you bring Macy with you to help you with it." Justin suggested. Macy immediately stopped what she was doing, and went with Ryan to the basement.

After a few seconds, Justin decided to follow them. "Hey... don't tell me you're going to leave me here to prepare all of these things!" Rica said. Justin looked back at her and gave her a naughty smile. "This," he said. "is my plan..." After saying that, he immediately ran down to the basement.

===================================================================

"I'm sorry if Justin's being a jerk..." Ryan said the moment they were at the basement. "It's very unlike of him to ask a lady to bring up something that's too heavy to handle..." he continued. They were looking for the barbecue grill, but they couldn't find it. "It's OK... I need some exercise.."

Little did they know, Justin followed them and locked the door on the basement. "I don't think it's here..." Ryan said, giving up his search for the griller. "I think we should go upstairs and ask Justin." Macy suggested. They tried to open the door, but it was locked. "I swear, I left this thing open..." she said. She tried to rotate the knob, but it wouldn't let her. Ryan tried to knock down the door, but he still can't open it. "Justin!" Ryan shouted. They tried to shout their friends' name, hoping someone would be able to hear them, but still, nothing happened.

After several minutes of attempting to get out, they decided to give up. "I guess we're stuck here..." Ryan said, as he sat on the floor. "Oh no..." she said. She was already in a panic. Ryan could see in her face that she's already worried. "Hey..." he said. "don't worry, I'm with you..."

Macy sat down beside him, and took a rest. They will try to open again the door in a little while.

===================================================================

Meanwhile, Justin went upstairs and told Rica what he did. "You locked them at the basement? Why did you do that?" she said angrily. She was mad because Justin didn't told her about the plan, plus the fact that her friend is stuck with the guy Macy loves, who also turns out to be a playboy. "Relax... nothing's going to happen to them. Trust me..." He said as he put his arms around her. "Besides, they needed time to be alone... so that they can talk about things..."
"Do you think it will work?"
"Of course it will! They have to be isolated so that the could talk about things. Trust me..."

Rica didn't have no choice but to go with Justin's plan. She just hopes that everything would turn out right between Macy and Ryan.

==================================================================

"Do you think we would still be able to get out?" Macy asked Ryan, as the latter tried to open the door. "Of course, we will... have faith in me" he said, as he looked at her and winked. He suspects that Justin set him and Macy up so that they could talk. "Good plan bro... I just wish she'll talk to me..." he thought.

He kicked the door, but it still won't open. Ryan looked at the worried Macy, and smiled. "I guess we have to shout again later..." he said. He walked towards Macy and sat beside her. "Maybe there's a reason why we got stuck here..." she said. "Yeah..." Ryan answered. "maybe there is..."

There was a short silence between them. Ryan was thinking of ways for Macy to tell him the real reason why she was avoiding him. "Penny for your thoughts?" Macy said when he saw him in his deep thoughts. Ryan faced her with a serious look on his face. "Why did you start avoiding me after that kiss?" he asked.

It took a long time for Macy to find the answer. "I... I told you... some things have changed... but it doesn't mean that I'm mad at you..." she said in a low voice. "What have changed?"
"I... I can't explain..."
"Are you avoiding me because you don't want me to be your friend?"

Macy looked up at him. "That's the last thing I want to happen..."
"Then why?"

She couldn't answer him. She wanted to tell him that the reason that she's avoiding him, is because she have fallen in love with him, and she doesn't want this to get into their friendship. "If you only knew..." she thought. "I wish I have the courage to tell you what's in my heart..."
She could already feel the tears swelling in her eyes. "I've never been like this to a girl before..." Ryan said. "My day seems incomplete whenever I'm not with you... You're the only person who cared for me like this..." he continued. Macy felt happy with what he said. "Macy..."
"I... I wish I could tell you how I feel... but I'm so scared to lose you..."

This time, tears can't help but fall from her eyes. "You and Rica are the only people that I could consider my friends... you didn't hesitate to offer your friendship, though I'm the laughingstock of the school... but since that night that you kissed me... I... I felt something that I know I shouldn't have felt..." Macy said.

Ryan put his palm on her cheek, and wiped away her tears. "I know... I'm not the type of person that someone like you could like... that's why I started to avoid you - I don't want this feeling to grow stronger... I don't want this feeling to ruin our friendship... I don't want to see you with your girlfriends because I'll only wish that it was me that you love.." she said as the tears continuously cascaded from her eyes.

"Macy..." Ryan started. "It's not that hard to fall in love with you..."

Just like in her dream, Ryan started to move closer towards her. He was so close that she could feel his heart beat. Macy gently closed her eyes, and the moment she closed her eyes, his lips met her lips.

Her first kiss. It seemed forever when they kissed. The time stood still, and the word seemed to be hazy. "I can stay this way forever..." Macy thought. That moment, all of her fears had gone, and the emotions that she was trying to hide simply flowed.

Suddenly, they were interrupted when the door opened. It was Justin and Rica.


To be continued...

kuko, sapatos, anklet

Sabi nila, ang mundo daw ay isang napakalaking classroom kung saan ka hinahainan ng sari-saring leksyon tungkol sa buhay. Kung si Robert Fulghum, maraming natutunan nung Kindergarten sya, ako naman, may mga natutunan sa kakikayan. At ang aking mga teachers: kuko, sapatos, at anklet!


The chipping nail polish

Nagta-type ako sa keyboard nang mapansin ko na nagsisimula nang mag-peel yung nail polish sa kuko ko. Kaagad akong naglagay ng top coat. Nabasa ko kasi sa Cosmo na iyong top coat, nagpapatagal ng kulay ng nail polish. At nagpe-prevent na mag-chip iyong kuko.


Pero noong sumunod na araw, lalong lumala iyong pag-peel ng nail polish. Medyo nalungkot ako. Kasi, wala nang makakapigil pa sa pagkakasira ng kulay ng kuko ko.

Pero kung iisipin natin, ang nail polish, parang life lang yan. No matter how hard we try to make it last or stay longer, we couldn't stop the inevitable. Lahat ng bagay, nag-de- the end. Hindi mo na kayang pigilan ang nakatadhana. May mga relasyon na hindi nagtatagal. May mga pagmamahal na namamatay. Kahit na tambakan mo man ng top coat ang kuko mo, kahit anong ingat mo man, matatanggal at matatanggal pa rin ang nail polish. Kaya burahin mo na lang at ihanda ang mga kuko sa bagong nail polish na i-a-apply mo. Kailangan mo mag-move on. At magsimulang muli. Pero dapat, bago ka mag-apply ng bagong nail polish, siguraduhin mo na wala ng trace ng lumang nail polish. Bago ka pumasok sa panibagong relasyon, dapat, completely over ka na doon sa dati. Parasimula ka sa clean slate, di ba?

Lesson learned: Huwag malungkot kung may isang bagay na natapos. Puwede ka pang magsimulang muli. At puwede kang sumubok ng mas magandang nail polish.


The perfect shoes

Kailangan ko bumili ng old rose na sapatos na babagay sa aking damit. A-attend kasi ako ng kasal ng kaibigan ko. Alam nating lahat kung gaano kahirap maghanap ng perfect na sapatos. Lalo na kung old rose ang kulay nito. Dalawang oras yata ako naglibot sa Glorietta para lang makahanap ng sapatos.

Hanggang nakakita ako sa Landmark. Hindi siya old rose kundi pink pero pagod na ako maghanap. At desperado na ako dahil malapit na silang mag-sarado. Kaya nagpasya ako na pagtiyagaan na lang kung ano iyong nandoon. Kahit hindi naman talaga iyon ang gusto kong bilhin. Puwede na iyan, naisip ko.

Noong hiningi ko ang size ko doon sa tindera, sinabi sa akin na hindi na sila nagtatanggap dahil sarado na sila. Noong pauwi na ako, I realized that that experience was trying to tell me something. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I shouldn't settle for anything less. Paano kung binili ko nga iyong pink na sapatos tapos may nakita akong old rose na sandals? Baka sinasabi sa akin ng tadhana na kailangan maging patient ako, at mag-hanap pa sa ibang mall para makita ang tamang sapatos.

Kinabukasan, nakahanap ako ng old rose na sandals sa Megamall. As in bagay doon sa damit ko. At nabili ko pa ng sale! Kung pinagtiyagaan ko iyong nasa Landmark, siguro hindi na ako naghanap sa ibang mall. At siguro, nagtitiis ako sa pink na sandals ganoong mayroon naman palang old rose.

Lesson learned: Don't settle. Minsan, dahil sa pagod na tayong maghintay, o dahil sa desperado na tayo, pinagtitiyagaan na lang natin kung anong nandiyan. Parang wala na tayong ibang choice. Pero kung tutuusin, kung maghihintay lang tayo, at maging patient, darating din iyong para sa atin. At hindi lang sapatos ang tinutukoy ko. It could be the right guy or the right job or whatever.

The misplaced anklet

Noong binigyan ako ng kaibigan ko ng blue na anklet, sobrang na-excite ako kaya sinuot ko siya agad. Pero dahil lagi akong nakamaong, at hindi nakikita ang anklet ko, nag-decide ako na gamitin sya as bracelet. Maluwang sya, oo, pero keri na rin. Alam ko hindi iyon ang dapat nyang lugar, kaya nga siya anklet eh para sa ankle, di ba? Siguro, feeling ng anklet ko, misplaced sya... na hindi iyon ang dapat nyang kalagyan. Pero noong ginamit ko siya bilang bracelet, napansin siya ng mga tao. Ang dami nga nag-bigay ng compliment at sinabing ang ganda daw ng bracelet ko.


"Kaya lang, parang maluwang," sabi noong isa. Inamin ko na na anklet talaga iyon kaya maluwang. Misplaced anklet nga siya. Pero at least nare-recognize naman siya. Kesa naman gamitin ko as anklet, walang makakapansin sa kanya.


Kinabukasan, ginamit ko siya uli. Noong tanghali, napansin ko na lang na wala na sa braso ko yung anklet. "Nilayasan ka na ng anklet mo kasi hindi niya nakayanan na ginagawa mo siyang bracelet," sabi ng kaibigan ko.

Tinawanan ko lang siya. Pero napa-isip ako. Bakit ko ba kasi pinilit na gawing bracelet ang anklet? Parang pinipilit ko ang isang tao na umasta ng hindi naman natural sa kanya. Akala ko kasi, mas okay yun kasi nare-recognize siya, kahit na hindi naman talaga iyon ang purpose niya sa buhay.

Lesson learned: Ang anklet ay para sa ankle, hindi sa wrist. Hindi mo puwedeng idikta sa ibang tao kung ano ang dapat nilang gawin, at kung saan sila pupuwesto. Kahit na sabihin mo na para sa ikabubuti nila ang ginagawa mo, kung hindi naman sila masaya, bale wala rin. Baka mawala lang sila sa iyo.


Sabi nila, ang mundo daw ay isang napakalaking classroom kung saan ka hinahainan ng sari-saring leksyon tungkol sa buhay. Ano kaya ang puwedeng matututunan sa walang kulay na lipstick? O sa anti-dandruff na shampoo? O sa plastic eyelash curler? O sa pekeng Prada wallet na binebenta sa bangketa? Ah, ewan? makapag-lagay na nga lang ng bagong nail polish.

They say it's difficult...

To turn you're back to someone whom you really want to be with

To be pathetic to someone who you always want to sympathize with

To let someone feel that he is neglected when in fact he's very important

To show someone that you don't mind when in fact you care a lot

To pretend not to know what he's up to when in fact you know him and his details

To avoid someone when in fact you want to take a stolen glance

To find reasons for doing things you don't usually do when you know he's the only reason for doing so

To treat someone as an ordinary being when in fact he's really special

To let someone realize that his presence is naturally welcomed when in fact it creates an extraordinary excitement

To say things contrary to what you feel

To laugh aloud when in fact you really want to cry your heart out

To set someone free when you feel he's all that you have and the only one you love

To pretend you're not hurt when he's with someone else but you cry deep inside

To keep your feelings from someone when in fact you really want to show it

To avoid talking to someone when in fact you're dying just to hear his whisper

To run away when in fact you want to stay

To let you know that you're someone I'm talking about

when we fall for someone and give ourselves entirely to loving that person, we should open our minds to the possibility of falling flat on our faces and getting hurt

When we grow weary of the challenges life bring us, the best way to revive our souls is to love. Notice that we find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us

We fail our relationshipbecause God has a better plan for us. All we have to do is trust him.Always remeber that it is only when we let go can we have the chance to get back what was taken away from us...

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.

what hurts the most

WHAT REALLY HURTS...

-letting go of a person u've just learned to love

-reminiscing the good times u shared together
(so true...)

-shielding ur heart to love somebody

-trying to hide what u really feel


-trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from
ur eyes (HAAAAAY!!!)

-loving a person too much

-giving up someone u never thought of giving up

-having the right love at the wrong time

-taking the risk to fall in love again

-hiding ur relationship from someone else

-controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend

-thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment
knowing all the while that he never even thinks a
single thought of you... (waah!!!!)


-letting go, because everytime you see the person, you
only fall deeper (hmmm...)

-holding back only to find out when it's too late, you
both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose
each other so much that you didn't let the feelings
out

-falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall
inlove with


-finding the perfect guy...with only one prob....he
doesnt love you... (...)


-helping the one you love "make ligaw" to your friend


-seeing the one you love crying for someone else

-the waiting also hurts like hell
(AHH...YES... THE WAITING...)

-having to hear "... I've met someone"

-agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.

-asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with
her'

-asking u to 'forget that everything happened' and be
'normal' friends again.

-hearing that you're treated as a little sis..(ang sakit nun!)


-sharing his future plans for the girl with you..

-stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.

-being denied in front of people.

-telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was
with a 'new friend' or 'old flame' (whew!)

-he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex


-breaking someone's heart


-fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee
you his commitment unless he fix himself...then, you
are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time
will tell...ang labo lang niya...but you still
decided
to hope in him and trust him


-PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
(BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!)

-PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your
weakness

-lying in bed each night, thinking of that special
person you can never have...


-being with someone you can't actually love...

-pretending you don't love a person whom you actually
love...

-being in love...

-letting go even if you really don't want to... having
no right to say you are huting because it was your
decision


-seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and
not being able to help that person...

-having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person
you love and finding out afterwards that things will
never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with
the same closeness as before

-having to face the fact that someone is capable of
completely destroying the wall that you have set for
yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable

-admitting that you love someone despite his
imperfections


-finding out that the more you try to hate him, the
more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than
before


-the thought that this guy, used to really love you
and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough
and so he gave up on you


-Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else.....


-making a promise....and realizing that when the time
has come for that promise to be delivered....the
commitment is no longer there...

-the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
(kaya nga....)

you dont have to forget someone you love. what you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. believeme, you would be better offgiving that dedication and love to someone more deserving

when we begin to realize that a person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship, we start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer. but in the end, if our efforts are still unrewarded, we end up being sorry for ourselves...

20 hakbang sa dambana

Isa... Dalawa… Tatlo...

Alam kong gasgas na ang linyang ito pero anu’t ano pa, hayaan mong sabihin kong walang anumang salita mula sa kahit ano pang lenguahe ang magbibigay kahulugan sa pakiramdam ko ngayon.

Ikakasal ka na.

Mula sa kinalalagyan ko, habang dahan dahan mong binabaybay ang gitna ng simbahan, hindi ko mapigilang lumuha ng maliliit na patak.

Ikaw ba talaga yan? Makailang pikit na ang ginawa ko, tinatanong ang sarili kung ikaw nga ba ang babaing nasa traje de boda. At kahit anong pikit ang gawin ko, ikaw nga iyon.

Parang kailan lang, kalaro kita kasama ang ibang bata. Alam ko pa ang itsura mo noon; tisay pero bulok ang ipin, naka-ponytail ka na palagi noon pa, at chubby. Bibo kang kalaro sa piko, pero kapag pikon ka na sa pang-aasar nila dahil sa lagi kang natutumba pag isang paa na lang ang gamit sa number 3 o kaya 4 na box sa piko, sa akin ka iiyak at aawayin ko sila. Madalas nila tayo tuksuhin pero wala lang sa iyo yon. Natutuwa naman ako noon dahil sa akin ka lumalapit. Para sa akin, ikaw na ang bestfriend ko.

Apat… Lima... Anim…

Binibilang ko ang mga hakbang mo sa altar. Ilang segundo na lang ay hindi ka na single. Masaya ka kaya habang naglalakad? May luha ka din sa mata, nakikita ko. Pero ang tanong na bumabalot sa isip ko ay kung luha ba yan ng kagalakan o kalungkutan.

Hindi kita naging kaklase sa grade school. Palibhasa palagi kang nasa star section. Sa service lang kita nakakasabay, at habang kumakain tayo ng cotton candy ay nagkukuwentuhan tayo tungkol sa mga nangyari sa araw natin sa school. At alam ko, nalulungkot ka noon kapag bababa na ako sa bahay namin. Magba-bye ako sayo habang aandar ang service at magtititigan tayo. Close tayo noong elementary. Ako ang bestfriend mong lalaki at ikaw naman ang tangi kong bestfriend na babae.

Pito... Walo... Siyam…

Mahal na mahal kita. At habang pinagmamasdan kita sa maganda mong gown ay parang natutunaw ako sa kinalalagyan ko. Nasa kalagitnaan ka na at maya maya pa ay magsisimula na ang seremonya.

Nag-high school tayo sa parehong school at sa kabutihang palad ay ka-section kita. Lalo pa tayong naging close kahit pa parating magkaaway ang mga barkada mong babae at ang mga barkada kong lalaki. Pero di gaya noong mga bata pa tayo, sa iba ka na tinutukso.

Sampu… Labing-isa… Labing-dalawa…

Pakiramdam ko, palakas nang palakas ang tugtog ng kasal habang papalapit ka sa altar. Nakangiti ka at kung minsa’y naititingin mo ang mata mo sa ibang taong nagagalak habang pinagmamasdan ka. Nasa sa iyo lahat ng atensyon.

Nagkaroon ka na ng maraming boyfriend. Ako namam ay umasa lamang na maibig mo. Wala akong naging ibang inalayan ng pagmamahal kundi ikaw. At tuwing pinapaiyak ka ng mga magagaling mong ex, telepono ko ang kumikiriring. Kaya nga noong nauso ang kantang “Halaga” ng Parokya ni Edgar, ay sobrang tinamaan ako.

Labing-tatlo… Labing-apat… Labing-lima…

Maligaya ka sa panahong to, alam ko. Ikaw pa, kilalang kilala na kita. Bestfriend kita eh. Mula ulo hanggang paa, kilala kita. Kakatawa pero naaalala ko pa noong mga bata tayo, alam ko na ang mga panty mo ay yung may burdang Monday, Tuesday, hanggang Friday. Alam ko na noong elementary ay galit ka sa Sibika at Kultura at sa Principal nating tinawag nating Miss Minchin. Noong highschool, alam ko pa kung sinu-sino ang mga naging crush mo. Kabisado na kita. Alam ko kung mainit ang ulo mo, kung malungkot ka, kung hindi maganda ang pakiramdam, kung nae-excite at lahat lahat.

Alam ko din kung maligaya ka. At kung hindi man ako nagkakamali, nararamdaman kong masaya ka ngayon habang patungo sa altar.

Labing-anim… Labing-pito… Labing walo…

Basta maligaya ka, masaya ako. Yun naman ang gusto ko parati, ang maligaya ka. At ang tanging hiling ko sa panahong ito ay ang panghabam-buhay mo nang kaligayahan.

Ayan na malapit ka na sa altar.

Labing-siyam..

Eksaktong ikalabing-siyam na ang ang hakbang mo, nabilang ko sa isip.

Congratulations. Masaya ako at alam kong masaya ka rin ngayong ikakasal ka na…

Dalawampu…

… sa akin.

things that makes you fly

Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. 43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...

painful things...

1. flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see

2. bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget

3. showing that you care

4. finding a way to mend a broken heart

5. learning that you've been used by someone you truly love

6. saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't

7. letting go of a person you've just learned to love

8. realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted

9. realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with

10. waiting for promises you know she or he'll never keep

11. saying your love for someone who loves somebody else

12. reminiscing the good times u shared together

13. shielding your heart to love somebody

14. trying to hide what you really feel

15. having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last

16. trying to hide the tears that voluntarily fall from your eyes 1

7. sharing the one you love w/ someone else

18. loving a person too much

19. giving up someone you never thought of giving up

20. falling in love for the first time

21. loving someone you haven't seen

22. having the right love at the wrong time

23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work

24. not being appreciated when you know you've given your best

25. taking the risk to fall in love again

26. hiding your relationship from someone else

27. controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend

28. choosing between two persons whom you really love

29. finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of

30. seeing the person you love with someone else

31. learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared

32. seeing the one you love fall for someone else

33. falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again

34. learning to trust after you have been betrayed

35. accepting that it was not meant to be

36. smiling when all you want to do is cry

37. falling and knowing that it can never be

38. not being able to love the person who truly cares for you

39. saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you

40. hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him

41. saying that you are over someone you still love

42. being friends again and learning to let go of each other coz you both know it is better that way

43. convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that you are

44. having to let go because you know that he deserves someone else

45. trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be..

how to tick people off

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit.

Tree
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.

When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?

During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf

People call me "Leaf".

During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.

I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.

At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
Because I like a girl called "Leaf". Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.

It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...

Moral

In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.

There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss?

This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.

A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.

It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. ..

It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.