Trying to get that feeling

At any moment she'll be walking through that door
She won't find me behind it
cause the feeling is gone and
just won't come back anymore
I work so hard to find it

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
All around, trying to get the feeling again
The one that make me shiver
Make my knees start to quiver
Every time she walks in

I've looked high, low
Everywhere I possibly can
But there's just no trying to get the feeling again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
but it ain't no used to me, trying to get the feeling again

Where did it run to? I thought I'd done all that I could
To keep the love burning
But whatever I've done, I just haven't done it too good
Cause all that's left is yearning

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
Like a bloodhound searching for a long lost friend
could you help me rediscover
the way to re be her lover once again

read every book
look for every meditation and poem
just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain't no used to me, to try and get that feeling
I want to get that feeling again

I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
I've been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
trying to get the feeling again

dillema

I just lost her... again... DAMN! stupid me. Kung alam ko lang na mahal pa rin niya ako sana siya na lang ang pinili ko...

Friends Again

I sent her a message sa friendster mga few days ago. I never thought she would reply or even text me dahil ang alam ko galit sya sa kin...

Pero she sent me a message through friendster and text. OK na kami. I don't have an intention to make her cry, pero she did. Hindi ko naman gustong masaktan siya dun sa message ko... I just want her to know what I've been going through since we broke up. We talked. Yun naman talaga ang kailangan para magkaroon ng closure di ba? I asked kung kamusta na sila... and things didn't turned out right with her and the other party (tama yung magic 8 ball, tama yung last pangtalong answer nya sa iisang tanong... I'm a believer na!). I admitted to her na mahal ko pa rin siya, pero we could never bring back the trust. We talked about what happened and what could've happened. Then, we're ok. We're friends again. Guess hanggang dun na lang yun... haaay... she's best I've ever got... She will always be. No one could ever replace her. Kahit ilan pa ang maging GF or BF ko... she will always have a special part in my heart - the biggest one.


That message, hindi lang naman para sa kanya yun. Para rin kay Volt. I didn't have the courage to send him that message because I'm scare that he'll shut me out. yun lang.


====================================================================

Nung time na nag-uusap na ulit kami, I met this girl. We have the same interests, and I'm starting to like her. But I don't want to be on a rebound. Natatakot ako kasi baka masaktan ko siya, although I've been saying those 3 words... natatakot ako na baka I still feel something for my ex. Natatakot ako na paasahin siya... pero the unexpected happened. I fell for her. Not just because I needed to fall in love, pero iba siya. Alam ko iba siya. O sige na, alam ko na iniisip mo, na ganito rin ako sa mga ex ko... pero iba to. Iba siya. Basta ang hirap ipaliwanag...


====================================================================

When they broke up, I was there. I wanted to comfort her as a friend. I wanted her to feel na andito lang ako, na she can talk to me kung sakaling nasasaktan ka. Pero I can't deny the fact that at the back of my mind, I want her back. I want to love her again... pero... mahirap na yung situation ngayon. I do trust her as a friend, but there would be doubts kung magkakabalikan kami. And this girl... God...

Basta I want to comfort her. Yun na lang muna. Wala akong nasabihan ng sama ng loob nung naghiwalay kami. Ayokong magyari yun sa kanya. Basta andito lang ako.. and I'm gald we're friends again...

A mini stop incident

Nagmamadali ako kanina papunta sa office at kagagaling ko ng mini stop. Bumili ako ako ng 2 white chocolates, peewee, vanilla shake at mineral water. Palabas na ako nang may makita akong isang magandang babae. Para syang diwata sa kanyang blonde na buhok. Matangkad siya, maamo ang mukha at maganda ang kanyang ngiti. Napalingon ako sa kanya at nasabi ko sa sarili ko... Shit! ang ganda ng babaeng ito. At napaisip ako...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Babae ba yun o bakla???

My "Thank God, It's Sabado" and "Growing Up" Days

I remember mt TGIS and GU days. Sobrang fanatic ako. I always wish I have friends like Peachy, Wacks, Cris (ako si Cris), Mickey and Kiko. It's a story of friendship, gorwing up, and dealing with life. I learned a lot from this show.

====================================================================

-=Memories ko ng TGIS at GU=-



Marami akong favorite moments at episodes sa TGIS at GU:

• Nung namatay si Dominique kasama sa Kiko at nanonood sila ng sunset
  
• Nung dumating si Mitch from Switzerland at di sila magkita kita ni Kiko
• Nung namatay si Noel
• The retro episode
• Nung nakilala ni JM si Rain
• Nung naging adik si Kiko (in fairness, may talent siya ha!)
• The very first episode (patay kayo diyan... "I'm Francisco Martin Arboleda De Dios"... Alright!!!)
• Nung "may nangyari" kina Angel at Wacks
• Nung naaksidente si Wacks at na-coma
• Nung naaksidente ULIT si Wacks
  
• Nung hindi sumipot si Peachy sa kasal nila ni Wacks
• Nung nalaman ni JM na buntis si Melissa
• The date rape episode
• The frat episode (the first episode I've watched)
• Nung naging si Kiko at Mitch
• The He said, She said episodes nina Bea at Noel
• Nung nagtanan si Wacks at Peachy
• Nung bumalik si Peachy nang hindi alam ni Wacks
• Nung birthday ni Peachy
• Nung "nadevirginize" si Kiko
  

Isip pa ako... basta too many to mention siya...


====================================================================

-=Lessons in Life=-

Kahit paano may natutunan naman ako. I knew what to expect in high school, at mas lalo na nung college.

Kung nung high school, papetiks petiks ka, easy lang ang buhay, iba pala ang college. Mas lalong iba na nung natapos na ang college life. This is the real world man!

Lahat nagbabago, lahat tumatanda. Kung noon, ang akala ko, Peachy-Wacks forever, hindi rin. Yung damdamin nagbabago rin.

Life's lesson is that change will always be inevitable. Kung noon, uso ang may bangs, ngayon hindi na. Kung noon, uso ang neon green at neon orange, ngayon, try mo magsuot. Tingnan natin kung di ka nila pagtawanan.

Gaya ng characters sa TGIS, marami rin akong napagdaanan sa teen life ko, as well as sa young adult stage ko.

Like for example, I've been through a hell of financial problems nung college ako. Just like what happened to Mickey. Simula nung namatay yung dad niya, ang dami niyang hirap na pinagdaanan. Ganun din sa kin. Simula nung namatay yung lola ko, ang daming hirap at sakripisyo ang pinagdaanan ko para lang makagraduate ng college (hindi pa naman ako graduate kaya marami pa rin akong sakripisyong pinagdadaanan). Ganun din naman si Kiko (na super crush ko...). He can still put up a happy face kahit wala siyang pera at walang date.

Natutunan ko rin that you can't trust anyone sa college. Sa college, lokohan at gaguhan lang. Gaya nung nangyari kina Peachy, Wacks at Angel. Nadamay pa pati yung buong tropa.

Hindi madali ang lahat. Hindi sa lahat ng oras makukuha mo ang gusto mo. Ang importante, kakayanin mo. Basta andiyan lagi ang tropa at ang pamilya...

(Parang wala ata sa topic yung tinype ko... sensya na!!!)

Tomorrow

Balik na ako sa sarili kong mundo bukas...

ABANGAN!!!

What About Love?

What if i took my time to love you ?
What if i put no-one above you ?
what if i did the things that really mattered ?
What if i ran through hopes of disaster ?

No-one would care if we had never made it
We're in this alone so why dont we face it
There is no room to blame one another
We just need time to forgive each other

Chorus
What about love...
What about feeling...
What about all the things that make life worth living
What about faith
What about trust
And tell me baby what about us

How can I give this love a new beginning ?
How can I stop the rain its never ending ?
How do i keep my soul reliving ?
Memories of how we should be keep calling

Chorus

Oh baby
I'll take the rivers right
I'll take the happy times
I'll take the moments of disaster

Chorus 

Recovery room

So far so good. It's almost a week since we broke up. Although ilang beses ako nagkahypertension dahil dun, masasabin kong ok na ako ngayon

Balik na naman ako sa dati. Globe chat ulit. Hanap ng friends. (kuno...). Pag nararamdaman ko na nagsisink in ulit sya, videoke.

Nagexplore ako ng friendster and I was so shocked to see na marami palang man hater sa friendster. Pretty pa mostly sa kanila. For sure bi rin yung mga yun na gaya ko... kaya nag invite ako...

=====================================================================

Masama siguro pero mula ngayon hindi na ako maniniwala sa love. Stupid lang ang mga taong naniniwala dun. Una sa lahat, walang happy ending. Gawa gawa lang yun nga mga producers ng movies, telenovelas at publisher ng books. I cannot say na manhater na ako. Just so happened na realistic na ako ngayon...

Learning to unlove

sometimes, just when you think you've found the perfect person, he realizes that there are so many things wrong with you.eventually, you also realizes that there are so many things wrong with him and everything just falls apart. after sometime,you realize its over.
no amount of screaming, kicking and whining can bring you an instant replay of the things that were and could have been. give me the space and the time that i need to learn to unlove you.

musta ka na? i don't know how i am.would you take it against me if i answer that question with a cold stare?how am i doing?i don't know.i absolutely don't know.i guess I've been having sleepless nights,trying to figure out why things didn't work out.i guess I'm caught between wanting to shut you out of my life completely and wanting to snatch you away.i don't know.i am lost.life was so much simpler before you messed up with my heart.happiness, being okay and loneliness were simple emotions.with you in my life now everything seems much more exaggerated. it's like i feel these emotions from my hair to my fingertips to the point of being nauseated...
ok ka lang ba? I don't think I'm okay.I'm not okay.being confused never belonged to the realm of being okay.do you realize what you do to me?my days seem so much happier.the sun seems to shine brighter.the rain brings smile a smile to my lips.the colors seem more vivid and i now love the things i used to hate.i don't think I'm okay.my life has always been on a timetable.everythin g is planned and every aspect has a structure.everythin g has a plan A and if plan A doesn't work,there's always a plan B.when all else fails,there' s always plan C.when you came,something has placed the entire order in my life upside down...my timetable changed and to the point i don't follow a schedule anymore.my plans were all put on hold.the whole structure just went crashing.i had a clear view of what i wanted,where i was going and by when do i need to get there.the moment you walked in,none of then seemed to matter anymore.all i wanted was to stay with you.and that isn't me.i can't afford to allow that to be me.not this time.not with you.you represent the exact opposite of everything I've ever longed for and yet,for some strange reason,i feel happy when I'm with you.some people have problem dealing with loneliness.i however,find myself having a problem dealing with happiness because i can't justify to my mind what i feel about you.it's just not logical.it defies reason.
you really don't want to see me anymore,no? well,yes...at least until i get over you.at least until i am sure that your presence no longer affects my better judgment.at least until I've accepted the finality of things and never feel myself longing for someone you can not give.let me concentrate on the negative things about you.let me bring you down from the pedestal i once placed you in.allow me to see your worst and then maybe I'd change my mind.let me remind myself that as much as i love you,we have different priorities.that as much as i adore you,you have a way of pissing me off,a way that only you can do.let me be reminded of what a ball and chain you are then maybe I'd learn to see you in a different light.let me gaze you at your countenance one more time and remind myself how forgettable your features are.let me walk with indifference when all i wanted to do was run to your side and embrace you.let me be nonchalant about your stories,about your thoughts.let me be self absorbed,allow me to work myself to death or drag my sorry ass,whacking my brains out with academic pursuits.let me be busy.its just that i don't want to be happy for a moment and be miserable for the next three.i don't want to love you,because i don't want to go thru the pain of letting you go.my mind refuses to let my heart win.
and you know what's the worst part of learning to unlove you? its the disappointing reality,that my messed up heart is stubbornly believing that letting you go means loving you more.its the dark,unacceptable fact that sadly,whoever gets romantically entangled with me at this precise moment of my life,that person will only feel second best to the memory of you.so allow me to get the space and time i need as i live to the day,practicing the art of unloving you.

Invincible

I don't have nerves of steel
I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million tears but i won't drown
I let myself unfold
Gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where i could see
And then you let go of me


I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible

I don't have x-ray eyes
Don't have a heart so wise
How could i have known you'd let me down
If i have known that then
If my eyes were wide open
I still believe i would've risked it
There's no way i would've missed it


Ah...it's a blessing and a curse
Ah...but you find out just what you're worth

To Love Again

Radio's fine
It helps me forget for awhile
I look back and recall
Those days i had with you
Sometimes i need a friend just to make it through
Anther day spent without you

You, you gave me all the reasons to live
But then you had to go
And i just got to let you know
It's hard to love again just to make it through
Another day spent without you

And i don't wanna go on pretending
That it's gonna be a happy ending
If i should love again
Once i've learned to love again
And oh, it will never be the same without you baby
This pain inside me's driving me crazy
'coz it's hard to love again

Friends are great, they cheer me up for sometime
But when the day is done
My mind is back again with you
Oh god i need a friend just to make it through
Another day spent without you

And i don't wanna go on pretending
That it's gonna be a happy ending
If i should love again
Once i've learned to love again...ooh
And oh, it will never be the same without you baby
This pain inside me's driving me crazy
'coz it's hard to love again

'coz it's hard to love again

I'm not Josie Grossy anymore!!!

Sometime you'll kiss someone and know that's the person you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.

That thing. That moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift, and you wanna laugh, and you wanna cry... 'cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it'll go away all at the same time.

Lessons

Lesson of Life

I feared being alone
until I learned to like myself.

I feared failure
until I realized that I only fail when I don't try.

I feared success
until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself.

I feared people's opinions
until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway.

I feared rejection
ntil I learned to have faith in myself.

I feared pain
until I learned that it's necessary for growth.

I feared the truth
until I saw the ugliness in lies.

I feared life
until I experienced its beauty.

I feared death
until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
until I realized that i had the power to change my life.

I feared hate
until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance.

I feared love
until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
until I learned how to laugh at myself.

I feared growing old
until I realized that I gained wisdom every day.

I feared the future
until I realized that life just kept getting better

I feared the past
until i realized it could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty of the starlight.

I feared the light
until I learned that the truth would give me the strength.

I feared change
until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly.

ARE YOU READY TO LOVE AGAIN

Our love lives can be a series of ups and downs, a romantic roller
coaster of anticipated thrills and unexpected drops, some leaving our
little hearts squashed all over the pavement below. After any
particularly turbulent and emotional ride, as we attempt to quickly
distance ourselves from the machinery of so much pain and uncertainty,
many can be heard to swear off of romance altogether.
Time heals all wounds
We all need time to recover from any unsuccessful romantic relationship.
Acknowledging our feelings, understanding our behavior and accepting the
unhappy outcome are all necessary steps for letting go and moving on. The
pace at which we move through these steps is unique to each of us.
While one week may be enough time for some people and in some situations,
one year may prove too short for others. And there is no one time of
absolute readiness, as there is no guarantee that memories of past loves
won't occasionally seat themselves behind us. While it is in our nature
to persevere, in spite of our fears about the ensuing ride, when
reentering the dating world, timing is everything.

Signs you aren't ready
If you aren't sure you're ready to date again, you aren't alone. It's
often harder to pin down an exact point of readiness than it is to
observe a lack of readiness.
You probably aren't ready to date again if:
You have maintained any sexual relationship with your ex.
You still live with your ex, even platonically.
You are still wearing a ring, carrying a photo, or defining yourself as
part of a couple.
You are stalking, following, harassing or frequently thinking about your ex.
You continue to harbor overwhelming negative feelings about your ex.
You continue to cry or be angry about the circumstances of your last
relationship.
What are your motivations?
To assess your romantic readiness, consider your motives for wanting to
date again. A love affair is not a panacea for all that ails you. Before
you can find, form and maintain a happy and healthy relationship, you
must first heal yourself. If you feel poisoned and victimized by
circumstances and life choices, you must learn to make changes and live better.
These generally aren't the right reasons to date:
Everyone else at work is married and you want to fit in.
A wife/husband would greatly improve your financial situation.
You're unhappy with your life, feel empty, and want someone to fill you up.
Finally, your emotional stamina may come into question when getting back
into the dating game, since even casual dating can come with its ups and
downs. Before you venture out among other eligible and interested
singles, you may want to prepare yourself for the romantic realities awaiting
you.
Seize the day
You're probably ready to date if you feel capable of facing any of the
following:
Being rejected when asking for a dance, phone number or date.
Answering questions about your last relationship.
Navigating misunderstandings and disagreements.
Working through the various issues that are bound to come up.
Rejecting someone honestly and kindly.
Identifying, accepting and admitting strong feelings for someone new.
Allowing yourself to be open and vulnerable, and to one day love and be
loved.
Whether you decide you're ready to date again or not, go at your own
pace. The roller coasters continue to run and there a plenty of us
waiting to board. Be patient; someone is saving a seat for you right now.

God says...

For all the negative things we have to say to
ourselves, God has a positive answer for it:
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)]
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16; John 13:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians
12:9; Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Romans 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I forgive you (I John 1:9; Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians
4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II
Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on Me (I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith
(Romans 12:3)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you nor forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Single

All your life, you had specific dreams about what your family life
would be like when you finally married.

You were so intent on what you wanted, you even made a list of qualities
and characteristics you were looking for in a spouse,in a home, in your
job, in your children.

But time passed, and that person you were so intent on didn't come
along.

All of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes. And
still you were single.

You prayed and prayed fro that person to come along, but nothing happened.

You had a good job. You served in your church. You spent daily time with
the Lord in prayer and studying the Word.

You dedicated your life to serving God in every way possible, but still
nothing.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands, and you began an
active search for a mate. And within a short period, you met someone who
almost fit the bill. Almost. Sure, there were a few things Missing, a few
rusty spots in that person's character. But, after all, no one is perfect.

Of course,your friends and your pastor tried to council you that you were
making a poor choice and that you should wait for the Lord to send the
right person. But that couldn't be right. You had waited for a long
time.

Maybe your goals were too high. Maybe you'd been asking for the
impossible. Maybe this was the person God wanted for you so your
character could grow through dealing with his or her failings.

So you married. And your life went down hill from there......

Even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers, no matter
whether it's about a mate, or a job, or our children, or our finances,
or anything else, we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch.
Nor does He look at our human calendars. He sees with eternal eyes. He
operates on an eternal timetable, according to His plan and His
schedule. If God seems to be running late, don't get impatient and run
ahead of
him.

Wait for the Lord's timing in everything. To the single folks
outthere,this is for you.

Single means you have the time to grow and be the person you want to be.

Single gives you space to grow. Sometimes, it is harder to grow when
you are too close to someone.

Trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become
strong as they mature.

Single means learning to live by yourself. However, that is no more
difficult than learning to live with somebody else.

Single means freedom. You are free to spend a week's vacation on the
beach, to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project, to
spend the day in bed with a good book or simply with a person who has read
one.

Single means learning not to need a man/woman to make your life
meaningful but learning to live with a man/woman because you want to be with
him/her.

Single means that sometimes you will wonder why you will bite your lip
and feel wistful and wonder if marriage is better.

Ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good about being in
control of your life. It is liking and respecting who you are and why
you are.

Single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it
is merely different.

Single means that there could be something wonderful around the corner
and you can take advantage of it.

Single means you are free to love again.

There are times when we are afraid of telling the person, whom we love
or like, what we feel deep inside because we might just lose them.
That's a big risk...I know. But hey....everything is. The way I see
it is why keep something inside and then end up regretting it in the
near future?

But as I've said....everything is a big risk. SO whatever you decide
to do with your feelings.... whether you tell it to that person or
not...you have to be ready with the consequences that come after it and
accept it.

Whatever decisions that you have made in your life is part of your
growing experience...part of life. Whatever decisions that you have to
make will influence or affect your future. So think hard before deciding
on certain things and PRAY TO GOD and he will show you the way.

Sayings

 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
 Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
 Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
 If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
 Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
 If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
 Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
 Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
 Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
 Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
 Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Everyone should have this list

Everyone should have this list
by Thomas Kinkade

1. If you feel far away from God, guess who moved?
2. Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there.
3. What you are is God's gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.
4. I am God's melody of life and He sings His song through me.
5. We can never really go where God is not, and where He is, all is well.
6. No matter what is happening in your life, know that God is waiting
for you with open arms.
7. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
8. Do your best and then sleep in peace. God is awake.
9. God has a purpose and plan for me that no one else can fulfill.
10. The will of God will never take you to where the grace of God will
not protect you.
11. We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
12. We set the sail; God makes the wind.
13. Begin to weave and God will give you the thread.
14. Sometimes when God says "no", it's because He has something better
in store for you.
15. The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.
16. Prayer: don't bother to give God instructions, just report for
duty.
17. It's my business to do God's business and it's His business to
take care of my business.
18. Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.
19. How come you're always running around looking for God? He's
not lost.
20. God put me on earth to accomplish a number of things; right
now I'm so far behind I will live forever.

Of Speed Dating and finding "The One"

I've watched th movie "Hitch" yesterday, ad there's a part there na nakipag speed dating si Eva Mendes. Meron din commercial ng speed dating sa ETC kahapon. Makes me wonder... what If I join this speed dating just for the heck of it???

Ang speed dating ay isang romantic rendition ng paborito kong larong "Trip to Jerusalem". Guys and girls are given a specific time to get to know each other. At the end, they'll score each other. Pag pareho kayong mataas na score, match kayo. Pag hindi, better luck next time. (Parang Fifth Wheel...)

So I tried signing up sa www.itzamatch.com, pero syempre di na naman naglagay ng pic ang lola nyo (FYI: i'm a fraid to be ridiculed...) . Let's see If I can find "The One" from there...

Is there something?

Lately I see clouds of sorrow in your eyes
Some deep sadness you can never quite disguise
Now I'm scared to ask what it's leading to
But I'm more afraid of not asking you

Is there something that you want to tell me
Is there something that I ought to know
Are we something that's still worth fighting for
Or should I simply let you go
Is there something I can do to reach you
Are we something more than history
I'll find some way to convince you to stay
If you just tell me honestly
Is there something left of you and me

You've got secrets you've been keeping for too long
And I'm going crazy acting like there's nothing wrong
I can taste the truth every time we kiss
And I can't go on
At least not like this

I don't want to lose you
But what's the use of holding on
I don't really have you
If the feeling's gone

Is there something I can do to reach you
Are we something more than history
If there's no way to convince you to stay
And be the way we used to be
Then there's something that I want to tell you
And I want you to believe it's true
We had something that I'll never forget
Even if I wanted to
'Cause part of me will always be with you...

Out of reach

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

Till I get over you

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night and I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they could never come true
I press rewind
I remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
But in the end I can still feel the pain
Every time I hear your name

Chorus
The sun won’t shine since you went away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
That’s the way it’s gotta be,
until I get over you…
[you...........]

Verse 2
Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say the time will dry the tears
But true love burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

Chorus

[till i get over....... you...]

Bridge
When will this river of tears stop fallin’
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps callin’
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go .....
[oh no no no]
[oh no no]
Chorus

[you.........................]
[you.........................]
thats the way its gotta be until i get over you
[until i get over....you.....]

Hardest thing

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me
It's killing you
But both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusted me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

I know we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Doctor Zhivago
All my love i'll be sending
And you'll never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There's no turning back
She's been good to be
And she deserves better than that

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you i don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending i don't love you

Shaky...

I'm a little shaky right now... I don't know if it's my BP or something. It seems that when I receive any text message from a stranger, I get a little shaky. Eto ang mahirap pag di natapos ng maganda ang relationship at minura mo yung third party at yung ex mo... parang everytime na may nagtetext kala mo mumurahin ka... oh well... guess I'll get some rest over my offs...

Closing time

Closing time open all the doors
And let you into the world
Closing time, turn all of the lights on
Over every boy and every girl
Closing time, one last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey and beer
Closing time, you don't have to go home
But you can't stay here

I know who I want to take me home...(3x)
Take me home

Closing time, time for you to go back
To the places you will be from
Closing time, this room wasn't open
Till your brothers and your sisters come
So gather up your jackets and move it to the exits
I hope you have found a friend
Closing time, every new beginning
Comes from some other beginning's end, yeah

I know who I want to take me home...(3x)
Take me home

Closing time, time for you to go out
To the places you will be from

I know who I want to take me home...(3x)
Take me home

Closing time, every new beginning
Comes from some other beginning's end

Beer

Nais kung magpakalasing
Dahil wala kana
Naka tingin sa salamin
At nag iisa
Naka tanim parin ang gumamelang
Binalik mo sa akiy
Ng tayoy maghiwalay
Ngayoy katulad ng damdamin mo
Kahit buhusan mo ng beer
Ay ayaw pang mamatay

*ref
Pag iibig wag mo sanay limutin
Ang mga araw na linisan at naglaho
Mga anak at bahay nating piplano
Halat ng itoy nawala
Nung iniwan mo ko
Kaya ngayon

*cho
Ibuhos na ang beer
Sa akin lalamunan
Upang malunod na ang
Puso ko nahihirapan
Bawat patak anong sarap
Ano ba talaga ang mas gusto ko
Ang beer na to o ang pag ibig mo

Nais kung magpaka sabog
Dahil olats ako
Kahit ano hihit-hitin
Kahit tambotso
Kukuha ako ng beer
At ipapakukulo sa kaldero't
Lalanghapin ang usok nito
Lahat ay aking gagawin upang
Hinde kona isipin na
Nagiisa na ako

Repeat *cho *ref

Ibuhos na ang beer
Sa akin lalamunan
Upang malunod na ang
Puso ko nahihirapan
Bawat patak anong sarap
Ano ba talaga ang mas gusto ko
Ang beer na to o ang pag ibig mo
Ang beer nato...
Ang beer nato..
O ang pag ibig mo....

Everything a woman should know...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
6. How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.
7. How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it.
8. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
9. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
10. What you and wouldn't do for love or money.
11. How to live alone, even if you don't like it.
12. Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.
13.How to love imperfectly.

Happy na (ba?) ako...

Kung ayaw mo na sa akin...

Kung ayaw mo na sa akin
Di na kita pipilitin
Kung buo na ang loob mo
Bahala ka na sa buhay mo
At di ako desperado
Sa walang kapantay na pagibig mo
Sa mga halik mong walang kasing tamis
Tubig ako at ikaw ay langis

Kung hindi ka na babalik
Araw-araw na akong gigimik
Kung malayo ka na
Ay malaya na ako
Ngunit ang kahapon ko ay bihag pa rin ng alalaa mo

Kung ayaw mo na sa akin
Di na kita hahabulin
Medyo bata pa naman ako
May mabibighani pa sa akin siguro
Kung ayaw mo na ako
Leche lalong ayaw ko sayo
Alam mo naman kung san ang bahay ko
Baka sakali magbago ang isip mo pleaaase

La-la-la-la oohh waahh ohh waahh
La-la-la-la oh waah oohh waahh

If the feeling is gone...

If the feeling is gone
please don't pretend that you still love me
I can see it in your eyes
and it hurts to admit it
I can tell that the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you know
If the feeling is gone

There's a sadness in your smile
Though I try to conceal it
I can tell that the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone

All i ask is just a little honesty
Though i know that you're not coming back to me
You know i'll do anything to make you stay
But i just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
I just have to let you go
If the feeling is gone....

Stay...

On and on

Down in Jamaica
They go lots of pretty women
Steal your money
Then they break your heart
Lonesome sue, she's in love with ol'Sam
Take him from the fire into the frying pan

On and on
She just keeps on trying
And she smiles when she feels like crying
On and on, On and on, On and on

Poor ol'Jimmy
Sits alone in the moonlight
Saw his woman kiss another man
So he takes a ladder
Steals the stars from the sky
Puts on Sinatra and starts to cry

On and on
He just keeps on trying
And he smiles when he feels like crying
On and on, On and on, On and on

When the first time is the last time
It can make you feel so bad
But if you know it, show it
Hold on tight
Don't let her say: Goodnight

Got the sun on my shoulders
And my toes in the sand
My woman's left me for some other man
Aw, but I don't care
I'll just dream and stay tan
Toss up my heart to see where it lands

On and on
I just keep on trying
And I smile when I feel like dying
On and on (9x)

Valentine's day

Pagpasensyahan nyo na kung malungkot ako, kung naging depressed ako, kung nawalan ako ng tiwala sa sarili ko. Ang tindi kasi ng problema ko this weekend. I'm starting a new chapter of my life now. Pasensya na rin kung puro sad songs ang nakapost sa blog ko. meron akong 3 dahilan:

1. Mahilig lang talaga ako sa sad love songs
2. Broken hearted ako
3. it's my way to release the pain I feel inside

Medyo OK na ako ngayon. Sana tuloy tuloy na. Hirap talagang mainlove, nakakahigh blood kaya di muna ako maiinilove ngayong taon na ito.

Sanay na rin naman akong walang date ng Valentine's day. OK rin naman maging single. Daming perks... pero ayoko nang ienumerate pa yung mga yun.

====================================================================

Gumising ako kanina na medyo mabigat pa rin ang loob ko sa nangyari. Pagbangon ko ng kama, nakita ko yung statue ni Jesus na nakasabit sa dingding. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, at nagdasal ako.

Ipinagdasal ko na sana bigyan Niya ako ng lakas sa mga susunod na araw...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana alisin Niya yung bigat sa dibdib ko...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana patnubayan Niya ako...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana matutunan kong makalimutan ang lahat...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana bigyan Niya ako ng lakas na matanggap ang mga bagay na di ko na kaya pang baguhin...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana tulungan Niya akong maibalik ang tiwala ko sa sarili ko at sa ibang tao...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana matutuhan ko na siyang mapatawad...
Ipinagdasal ko na Siya na ang bahala sa kanilang dalawa...
Ipinagdasal ko na sana may natutunan ako sa mga pangyayaring ito...
Ipinagdasal ko na rin na gabayan niya ako, at ipinauubaya ko na sa Kanya ang buhay ko, na sana bigyan niya ako ng direksyon sa buhay...


Matutunan ko rin siyang makalimutan pero hindi sa ngayon. Matutunan ko rin siyang kalimutan, at kailangan simulan ko na ngayon.

Wala na rin yung sakit... wala na. Talaga palang pag nagdasal ka, pakikinggan ka ng Diyos...

Someday...

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see it through my eyes
But then i won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well i've got news for you
I know i'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now
I know you can tell
I'm down,and i'm not doin' well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday,
I know someone's gonne be there

Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Mata

Kumusta na
Nandyan ka pa ba
Wala na yatang ibang magagawa
Kundi tumawa

Nandyan pa ba
Mga ala-ala
Ang tanging bagay na naiwan
Sa 'ting dalawa

Wag nang paikutin ang isa't isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Di na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
Di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

Nakita ko ng lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sayo
Ohhhhhhh

Nakita ko ng lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sayo
Ohhhhhhh

Kumusta na
Nandyan ka pa ba
Wala na yatang ibang magagawa
Kundi tumawa

Nandyan pa ba
Mga ala-ala
Ang tanging bagay na naiwan
Sa 'ting dalawa

Wag nang paikutin ang isa't isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Di na rin kailangang pagpilitan pa
Di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

Nakita ko ng lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sayo
Ohhhhhhh

Nakita ko ng lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sa'yo
Ohhhhhhh

Mata mo, mata mo, mata mo, mata mo...........

Unti unti na akong naniniwalang walang taong magseseryoso sa kin. Sa pagsubok ko ulit na makipagrelasyon, nauwi rin sa wala. Pinagpalit nya ako sa iba...

Feeling ko wala na talagang taong pwedeng magmahal sa kin. Malas ko naman sa paghahanap ng unconditional love sa ibang tao. OK, maniniwala na akong wala talagang taong magmamahal sa kin. Malamang tatandang dalaga ako... haayyy...

Ayoko nang isipin yung perks ng pagiging single kasi masyado akong naattach sa taong ito para naisin ko pang maging single ulit. Ngayon ko lang naranasan ulit masaktan mula nung nalamn kong nililigawan ni Volt si Sherrie... may mas matinidi pa nga dun kung tutuusin... nung hindi talaga ako masikmura nung mga naging virtual boyfriends ko nung nagmeet na kami... haaayyy...

Sabi nila, kung san ka nadapa, dun ka bumangon. Ewan ko kung makakabangon pa ako. Durog na durog na yung puso ko, yung tipong isang cholesterol na lang ang hindi pumipirma... bibigay na. May I will die a lonely death. Lonely, cold, alone...

Masyado pa akong bata para isipin yun, pero masyado pa rin akong bata para masaktan. Sanay na siguro ako...

Lahat siguro ng mura, nasabi ko na sa kanya. Ganun pala yun. Pag nasaktan ka marami kang di kanais nais na bagay na masasabi, pareho ng sitwasyon pag nagdilim yung paningin mo sa sobrang galit. Pero nakakagaan siya ng loob. Parang... ang gaan.. sobra...

Single muna ako. Hanggang kailan? Di ko alam.... palagay ko hindi na rin ako makikipagrelasyon mapababae o mapalalaki. Pare-pareho lang sila...

And you know what... medyo gumaan nga pakiramdam ko ng naisulat ko nang lahat ng ito... Single life again... Huhu...

Course...

Unang plano: babalik ng Mapua, tatapusin ang COE
Pangalawang plano: lilpat ng school, tatapusin ang COE
Pangatlong plano: lilipat ng school, lilipat ng course

OK na ako sa unang plano. Kaso, nag-offer na ang Mapua ng BS Multimedia Arts and Science at BS Entrepreneurship. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH gusto ko yung 2 courses na yan!!!

ANO BER!!!!!

O sige na.. inaamin ko na... I'm still stalking him pero NOT necessarily dahil mahal ko siya pero kasi gusto ko lang malaman kung kamusta na siya.

Huling balita ko sa kanya... ummm.. sabihin na nating di kaayaaya sa pandinig. To cut the long story short... I ended up crying not because I'm hurt but because I thought it was my fault. Pero OK lang yun, dahil nung time na yun... obsessed ako sa isang taong itago nalang natin sa initial na PJ (Paolo Morales... Is tat yu??? I don't think so! hehehe peace tol!).

Pero nung nabasa ko yung blog nya, di ko alam kung mashoshock ako or maiinis ako... DAHIL HINDI SIYA YUNG TAONG INAKALA KONG SIYA!!! ANO VER????? Akala ko ba'y isa siyang... bakit andami nyang...

(Disclaimer: di nya lam na alam ko kaya ganito, sorry peeps!!)

ANAK NG... PINGTRIPAN NA NAMAN BA AKO??? NANIWALA NA NAMAN BA AKO SA ISANG KASINUNGALNGAN???

Ah, ewan! Bahala na siya sa buhay niya... basta magbabasa na lang ako ng blog niya!!!

Ikaw

Ikaw. Oo, ikaw nga! Napakasuwerte mo sa lahat ng mga taong nagpakatanga at nagpapakatanga sayo! Naisip mo na ba kung ilang dagat na ang pwedeng mabuo mula sa mga luhang tumulo dahil sayo? Masarap ba ang pakiramdam ng iniiyakan kahit buhay ka pa?! Masaya?!


Ilang tanga na ba ang naliwanagan dahil dumating ka sa buhay nila? Ilang henyo na ba ang nabobo sa kaiisip sayo? ilang bochog na ba ang nangayayat sa kakahabol sayo? ilang patpatin na ba ang nakabuhat ng grand piano dahil minahal ka nila?


Nakakatawang isipin at pagtanda siguro natin mahirap paniwalaan, na minsan sa buhay ng batang iyon, ikaw ang naging tampok ng kanyang mga pangarap.


Minsan naman sadyang dumadating sa mga relasyon yung pagkakataon na kailangang bumitaw o mabitawan, makasakit o masaktan. Malas mo na nga lang kung ikaw yung iniwan pero hindi eh. Talagang masuwerte ka kasi ikaw yung nang-iwan. Pero kahit ganoon na nga ang papel mo, lalabas ka pa ring bida at dakila kasi sasabihin ng mokong na ‘to, “Hindi ko siya masisisi. Ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan.” Ayos.


Ilang utak na ba ang binabagabag mo gabi-gabi? Ilang nilalang na ang hindi nakakatulog sa kaiisip sayo? Ilang mga mata na ang parang namagang fishball sa umaga dahil sa magdamag na pag-iyak sa alaala mo?


Alam mo ba na para kang bubblegum sa bumbunan nung taong mahal na mahal ka? Pilit na kinukutkot pero sa huli malagkit pa rin. Para kang mantika sa platong hindi maalis-alis kahit nakalimang banlaw na lalo na kung walang Joy Ultra Calamansi. Para kang monthly period na after three days akala wala na pero may taghabol pa pala.


Isa man yan, o isang barkada, maswerte ka pa rin. Hindi ba nakakataba ng puso ang
malamang may isang nilalang na iinom ng isang shot ng nana at isang kilong taba para lang sayo? Na kahit lasunin mo ng racumin, para pa ring tutang susunod sayo.


Kung ganon pwede ka nang lumundag mula sa Eiffel Tower at makakasigurado kang sa langit pa rin ang bagsak mo dahil may isang nilalang na makikipagbargain kay satanas para sa kaluluwa mo.


Sabihin mo nang hindi ka naman ganon; na iniiwan ka rin at nasasaktan; na hindi mo ginustong magpakapraning sila sayo; na hindi ka ganon kalupit at karahas; na may puso ka ring mamon. Pero wala kang magagawa. Wala akong magagawa. Wala silang magagawa. Naging praning ako sayo eh...

Reproducng a letter

A letter that I wrote for a guy 2 years ago...

I would give everything just to see your face again. You were a beautiful dream that visited me during my slumber, making me wish that I don’t have to wake up. The sound of your laugh is a melody to my heart, just the thought that I made you smile is a great accomplishment. To me, you are everything. You’re the greatest thing that happened in my life now. You never know how you healed my broken heart, and my wounded soul. Just by your presence, your smile, your glances, you made me feel everything would be all right, and that it’s ok to love once in a while.

I almost gave up on love. I almost believed that fairy tales don’t exists, and that prince charming is but another antagonist in this love story. But you proved me wrong. You were the knight in shining armor, came to rescue me from all the pains, the fears and the misery I’m going through. You were just in time… just in time for me to let go…

In this world, we fall, we get hurt, we feel pain, we have heartaches. I was not ready to face such things. I don’t even know if I could love someone unconditionally, or if I could be happy just by loving someone from a distance. Then you came and I met you. You showed me how hurt you are, and that life still has to go on without the girl you love.

I love you but I’m not expecting anything in return. Maybe just your smile, your glance, or your soothing voice will do. Tonight, if ever I’m going to see you again, I will have to let you go. After I step out of the building, I will have to keep you as just another guy who came into my life, and changed everything. I will never forget you. It’s funny because I had a daydream that I was saying goodbye, and the moment I turned my back to walk away from you; you ran after me and hugged me telling me not to get out of your life. It’s just a dream. But I hope and pray that someday I could see you again, and maybe it will start there. But as of now, I have to continue living my life and find the happiness I was looking for. I love you and I wish you all the best. May God always look upon you. I love you…

Of love, heartaches, and a guy named Voltaire

Alam ko na, even before, I can never have a guy like him. Pero ang nakakatawa sa lahat, I still fell for him despite his flaws. For me, he was a perfect guy. Until I found out the reason why...

======================================================================

Ayoko nang magkwento ng mga pangyayari sa nagdaang 8 taon dahil nakakasawa na ang kwento. Maiba naman. Ayoko nang sa kanya lang umiikot ang mundo ko. Tao ako, at hindi isang aliping sagigilid niya. Basta ang alam ko, lahat ng pwedeng maramdam ng isang ordinaryong tao, naramdamam ko nung minahal ko sya. But I lost the fight I've been trying to win. But at least, I figured out how to love.

=======================================================================

Now, I'm in love. I'm in love with this wonderful person. I never thought I could feel this way again. When I'm with this person, the world stops, and I feel complete. Mahal ko siya in spite of all the oddities. I will fight for this person no matter what.

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Minsan iniisip ko, hanggang kailan? Oo, tatagal kami pero may patutunguhan ba? Maraming hadlang, at kapag nalaman ng ibang tao, baka di namin makaya ang pangungutya. Minsan, iniisip ko na to let this person go. Baka in the end hindi ko maibigay yung happiness na hinahanap niya, at ganun sya sa kin... Pero what the heck! I love this person, no matter what!

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Stupidity ba yung nagmahal ka nang sobra sobra, umaasa, at naniwala sa mga love quotations na pinapasa nung unang panahon? Oo. Yeah, I'm such a stupid person because it took me 6 years to forget a guy. And all I needed to do to forget this guy is another guy...

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Para sa taong tinadhana sa aking ng Diyos at ng Pagkakataon

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ka darating. Hindi ko alam kung makikita pa kita. Pero aasa ako sa paniniwalang may isang itinakda para sa lahat ng tao.

Minsan iniisip ko, buhay ka ba? Nasa kabilang dulo ka ba? Ano bang nasa puso mo? Nararamdaman mo rin ba ang nararamdaman ko?

Kung totoo ka man, pwes aasa pa rin akong balang araw makikilala ka. Di ko alam kung kailan, di ko alam kung saan. Kung tama man ang lugar at panahon, Diyos na lang ang nakakaalam.

Sa ngayon, marami akong tanong sa isip ko tungkol sa 'yo. Nasaktan ka na ba? Nagmahal ka na ba ng sobra sobra? Minsan ba sa buhay mo, umasa ka? Minsin ba inisip mo na rin bang huwag nang magmahal ulit, at magtiwala sa ibang tao? Kung ako ang tatanungin mo, oo. Kaya hindi mo ako masisisi kung sakaling dumating ka, saktan lamang kita. Dahil pagod na ako... pagod na pagod...

Kung darating ka, sana dumating ka na, Ayokong sisihin ka balang araw dahil huli ka na. Ayokong dumating ka na hindi na ako marunong magmahal. Dahil baka huli na ang lahat, at matutunan ko na hindi pala kita kailangan...

Kung darating ka ngayon o bukas, Diyos na lang ang makakaalam. Basta't isipin mo palagi na inaantay kita, at umaasa na magiging maligaya rin ako sa piling mo...