The Guy

I have come to realize that he’s just a guy.
A great one, maybe.
But he’s not mine.
And I don’t need to do things to make him love me.
Coz if he really wanted to,
he would.

Smile

i love making other people smile...
but sometimes it gets too tiring
that i just find myself looking for someone
who could make me smile too...

In search of a unique love story

Since the time I learned about the joy and pain of falling in love, I have been searching for a unique love story. I want it to be really tragic, something that's different (so meaning to say, the love stories that we have watched in "Teleseryes" are excluded), something that could touch one's soul, something that would make me want to relive the story over and over again, something that would give me a good cry (I badly needed it).

I've been telling this to my college bud, Ayanne. We're both suckers for tragic love stories, you know. She told me that the most unique love story would be your own love story. Come to think of it, I haven't heard anyone having this story yet: a girl, her best friend, a guy. The girl, madly in love with the guy, the guy courted the best friend, the best friend didn't like the guy, the girl still holding on for oh-so-how-many-years, hoping the guy would finally see her worth and love her for who she is, the several years later, the girl found out that that guy she's madly in love with is a gay. Yep. A gay. Have you heard of that story yet? Did it already became a plot of a soap opera? Nope. Not yet. It's very unique. And I'm not telling whose love story this is!

Maybe I have my own fair share of a unique stories - may it be from my mom and dad's love story, to my best-friend-forever's love story (I'm a fan), my lil sis's love story, my high school friends' love story, some random people's love story. There might be similarities with their stories, but the fact remains that it's still unique. Maybe because of the character, the circumstances, the setting, the background, the theme song (blech!), the era... but it's unique simply because... there might be two lovers who share the same story, but it will be one in a million, right?

I've heard countless of tragic love stories, and also made up one:

• From the guy who gave his eyes to the girl he loves
  
• the best friend who never told her/his friend about his feeling and acted as the bridge to the obejct of his/her bestfriend's affection
  
• the girl who secretly watches over the guy she loves
  
• the girl who left the guy because she's dying
  
• the guy who dies for the girl she loves
  
• etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Most of these stories made me cry, leaving me wondering, why can't they just tell each how they feel? Why does the character have to die? Why does she have to let him go? Why, oh why?! Blame that reaction for someone who have watched too much teen flick during her childhood, who started to believe that everyone will have a happy ending. Come to think of it... Semisonic said before that "Every new beginning come from some other beginnings end". So if it's a happy ending, then a new chapter will open... right? (too much logic, I guess...) OK, what I'm trying to say is that if something else will happen, then it's not yet a happy ending right? So, me thinks, what's the use of happy endings? (OK, now I'm pondering too much on this...)

That's the reason why I prefer tragic stories that those mushy love stories. Because who knows, in the next chapter, something great will happen. The lead may not end up with the guy/girl she loves, but she will eventually end up with someone that will truly make her/him happy. They may not end up together at this moment, but who knows what the future will bring to them. There's always hope of something great will happen. Yep, even the hope of having a happy ending. As Pacey (from Dawson's Creek) said, "If two people are meant to be together, it doesn't mean that they have to be together now." And if there is such a thing called fate, one day, fate will play a trick on them so that they could be happy for the rest of their lives... (now it's getting too mushy... and I hate it...)

Well, I'm still in search of a unique love story. I don't know how it will go, how it will it end, and who will the be the lead characters. I'm not sure how the plot goes, but I know, I want it to be something that I will play in my mind over and over again. (Note: Read between the lines. My subconscious mind is trying to say something...)

Love knows how to forgive,
But it does not know regret...

-Corner with Love-

real love is like a ghost,
everybody is talking about it,
but only a few has seen it...

-hana kimi-

this is our love...
it's just like any other love stories that exists...
with no reason, unable to explain and insane...

-hana kimi-

What do you do when the only one
that can make you stop crying,
is the person who made you cry?

Somtimes we have to let go,
just to be sure that there is something
there worth holding on to.

Some people say the worst way to miss someone is
when they are right next to you and
you know you can't have them,
but it's worse when you thought
you didn't want them anymore
and then all of a sudden you realize
you can't live without them.

I wish I had the guts to walk away
and forget about what we had.
But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me,
and I guess that's what hurts the most.

Some people think that it's holding
on that makes one strong;
sometimes it's letting go.

No Guy Is Worth Your Tears & When You Find The One That Is He Won't Make You Cry

What happens when he's your prince charming,
but you're not his Cinderella?

How Can You Be Friends With Someone
If Everytime You Look At Them It Makes
You Want Them Even More?

i wish forgetting my feelings for someone was as easy as digging a hole in the backyard, burying it there and leaving a cross over it to remind me how beautiful it once was. but it could never be like that. the truth is, forgetting this feelings is much like digging my very own grave and burying myself alive...

i was grateful for what he had done for me,

and i thought he should be grateful for what i had done for him.

i was used to seeing the world through his eyes.

well, that is what the world was like for me,

a reflection of him.

is that love?

or is it dependency?

ano pa bang pwede kong gawin...
bukod sa
tingnan ka mula sa malayo?

some things are not meant to be kept forever...

you know you have to stop

and let go when things aren't going right,

and everything you have are abused...

it is wiser to be alone but happy,

than be with somebody who does nothing but to make you feel stupid...

always remember that

if a person loved you once,

even after a hundred years,

there will still be

some of that

love left...

no matter how much

that person denies it...

you need to feel

a bit deprived

at times,

a bit lonely

and in a way

incomplete.. .

cause if you have

everything here on earth

would you still look up to heaven?