Nosebleed...

Can someone tell me WHY I accepted this job in the first place?

are you a child of the 90's?

You Are 64% A Child of the 90s

Wassup!?! You remember the 90s like they were yesterday. And you're ready to open up a can of whoop-ass on any other decade.

Are You a Child of an 90s?

What's my love song?

Your Love Song Is You and Me

by Lifehouse "Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do Nothing to prove And it's you and me and all of the people And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you" For you, love is very intense and a little difficult to express.

What Love Song Are You?

somewhere i have never traveled

somewhere i have never traveled
by e. e. cummings

somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Shet na tax

TAENA TALAGA....

from maan, Can you name 30 people?

Can you name 30 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 30 people.*NO CHEATING*




IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER WHATSOEVER:

1. maan
2. pie
3. claire
4. maui
5. nicole
6. mm
7. sandee
8. betsy
9. ikay
10. gelai
11. fal
12. charmaine
13. josche
14. tin
15. daph
16. laine
17. chelle
18. richel
19. lirin
20. mei
21. gap
22. chan
23. faye
24. gerald
25. sherwin
26. marc
27. karen
28. andi
29. francis
30. shannen



THE QUESTIONS:
• How did you meet 10?
-- sa hana kimi eb nun march 30
.
• What would you do if you had never met 6?
-- di ako kasali sa ffp if not for her
.
• What would you do if 20 and 15 dated?
--yuri???
.
• If you could marry between 6 and 14 (who you choose)?
-- wala sa mga nabanggit
.
• Did you ever like 9?
-- love her to bits!
.
• Have you ever seen 4 cry?
-- yes
.
• Would 4 and 17 make a good couple?
-- no tsaka bata pa si 17
.
• Would number 1 and 2 make a good couple?
-- no
.
• Describe 8
-- she's nice, kalog, funny
.
• Do you like 12?
-- of course! she's my jie jie
.
• Tell me something about 17
-- lil sis ko yan
.
• What's 7's favorite color?
-- yellow?
.
• What would you do if 1 just confessed he/she liked you?
-- maan? you like me?
.
• When was the last time you talked to number 15?
-- kanina sa ym
.
• How do you think 19 feels about you?
-- she sees me as her big sis
.
• What language does 13 speak?
--english, filipino, chinese (hehehhee)
.
• Who is 2 going out with?
-- mark her husband

• What grade is 16 in?
-- graduate na yan
.
• What is 5's favorite music?
-- rock
.
• Would you ever date 21?
-- di kami talo eh
.
• Is 11 single?
-- yes
.
• What is 10's last name?
-- Palmora
.
• Would you ever want to be in a beach with 26?
-- sure
.
• Where does 18 live?
-- las pina
.
*what do you think about 20?
-- she's cute
.
• What is the best thing about 30?
-- she's smart
.
• What would you like to tell 14 right now?
-- miss na kita
.
• How did you meet 9?
-- sa eb ng ffp
.
• What is the best and worst thing about 2?
-- Best>good listener worst> laging late
.
• Are you going to know 3 forever?
-- siguro
.
• How long have you known 26?
-- a few months
.
* Who is 24?
-- kablock ko nung college na officemate ko ngayon
.
• Are you or did you ever date 2?
-- madalas
.
• Do you have a crush on 27?
--di kami talo
.
• Would you kiss 25?
-- pede

• Have you hugged/kissed 21?
-- do pa
.
• Would you like to hug/kiss 22?
-- ewan
.
• Is 29 your gff?
--no
.
• What do you hate about 23?
--wala
.
• What's your relationship with 28?
-- *smile*

Mo Mo - Fahrenheit

飛輪海－ 默默 Fahrenheit- Silently Translated by kchiu91@FahrenheitGloba1 zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti 这是一个没有答案的问题 This is a question without an answer wo gan jue wo bian le OH~shei rang wo bian le 我感觉我变了 OH~谁让我变了 I feel I've changed OH~Who changed me yin wei zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti 因为这是一个没有答案的问题 Because this is a question without an answer jiu bei ni jie kai le jiu na me jie kai le 就被你解开了 就那么解开了 Then you undid it, and this is how it was undone ni zou guo le zai zhe ge mi ren ku tong de dui bai 你走过了 在这个迷人苦痛的对白 You went by at this mesmerizing painful scriipt ni shen zhi bu rang wo zhi dao ni dui wo you duo hao 你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好 You don't even let me know how good you are to me man man de zhe fen ai qiao qiao de zhu xia lai 慢慢地 这份爱悄悄地住下来 Slowly, this love lives (settles) here silently shen shen de zai xin li mei ren kan de chu lai 深深的 在心里没人看得出来 Deeply, nobody can see it in the heart an jing de dan que yi zhi dou zai shi ni mo mo de ai 安静的 但却一直都在数你默默的爱 Silently, but this silent love have always been including you man man de zhe fen ai yi jing bian cheng yi lai 慢慢地 这份爱已经变成依赖 Slowly, this love has already become a dependent jian jian de xiao rong li que rang wo cong man qi dai 渐渐地 笑容里却让我充满期待 Gradually, your smile makes me filled with anticipation bu yong shuo wo jiu neng gou ming bai OH ni mo mo de ai 不用说 我就能够明白OH你默默的爱 You don't need to say it and I'll be able to understand OH your silent love zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti 这是一个没有答案的问题 This is a question without an answer wo gan jue wo bian le OH~shei rang wo bian le 我感觉我变了 OH~谁让我变了 I feel I've changed OH~Who changed me yin wei zhe shi yi ge mei you da an de wen ti 因为这是一个没有答案的问题 Because this is a question without an answer jiu bei ni jie kai le jiu na me jie kai le 就被你解开了 就那么解开了 Then you undid it, and this is how it was undone ni zou guo le zai zhe ge mi ren ku tong de dui bai 你走过了 在这个迷人苦痛的对白 You went by at this mesmerizing painful scriipt ni shen zhi bu rang wo zhi dao ni dui wo you duo hao 你甚至不让我知道 你对我有多好 You don't even let me know how good you are to me man man de zhe fen ai qiao qiao de zhu xia lai 慢慢地 这份爱悄悄地住下来 Slowly, this love lives (settles) here silently shen shen de zai xin li mei ren kan de chu lai 深深的 在心里没人看得出来 Deeply, nobody can see it in the heart an jing de dan que yi zhi dou zai shi ni mo mo de ai 安静的 但却一直都在数你默默的爱 Silently, but this silent love have always been including you man man de zhe fen ai yi jing bian cheng yi lai 慢慢地 这份爱已经变成依赖 Slowly, this love has already become a dependent jian jian de xiao rong li que rang wo cong man qi dai 渐渐地 笑容里却让我充满期待 Gradually, your smile makes me filled with anticipation bu yong shuo wo jiu neng gou ming bai OH ni mo mo de ai 不用说 我就能够明白OH你默默的爱 You don't need to say it and I'll be able to understand OH your silent love wei lai de mei yi tian bu guan fa sheng shen me ne 未来的每一天 不管发生什么呢 Everyday in the future, no matter what happens bu neng tiao gei wo ne 不能挑给我呢 You cannot choose me wo yao yong yuan pei zhe ni shou hou zhe ni zhi dao zui hou WOO~~~~~~~ 我要永远陪着你守候着你 直到最后WOO~~~~~~~ I want to accompany you forever, watching you until the very end WOO~~~~~~~ man man de zhe fen ai qiao qiao de zhu xia lai 慢慢地 这份爱悄悄地住下来 Slowly, this love lives (settles) here silently shen shen de zai xin li mei ren kan de chu lai 深深的 在心里没人看得出来 Deeply, nobody can see it in the heart an jing de dan que yi zhi dou zai shi ni mo mo de ai 安静的 但却一直都在数你默默的爱 Silently, but this silent love have always been including you man man de zhe fen ai yi jing bian cheng yi lai 慢慢地 这份爱已经变成依赖 Slowly, this love has already become a dependent jian jian de xiao rong li que rang wo cong man qi dai 渐渐地 笑容里却让我充满期待 Gradually, your smile makes me filled with anticipation bu yong shuo wo jiu neng gou ming bai OH ni mo mo de ai 不用说 我就能够明白OH你默默的爱 You don't need to say it and I'll be able to understand OH your silent love

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Makinig ka

I'll forgive you for breaking my heart,

But please forgive me for hating you so much...

Magdadrama lang, blog ko naman ito eh...

Sad things I've realized...

It hurts the most when you have learned to love someone, but you realized they're never yours to keep
>>>> parang ikaw. alam ko isa ka lang pangarap kaso umasa pa rin ako (sabi mo nun feelings are more importat... tapos ngayon gusto mo ng babaeng may rosy white skin, gagu ka pala eh). alam ko one day you will find the perfect girl for you. one day, you'll decide to settle down. it's just so sad i've poured all my love for you, though i know you could never ever be mine.

You have to know when to give up and when to hold on
>>>> I'm giving you up, not letting you go for you were never mine in the first place. i wanted to hold on, but i see no reason why i should keep doing all these things to make you happy...

if you love someone, set them free
>>>> and so, i'm setting you free.. i just hope whoever she is, she will be the reason why you're always happy and smiling. though it tears me apart, i'd rather let you go to find your happiness than ask you to stay though it's against your will...

--

thank you for all the wonderful memories. though i decided to stop loving you, i will never stop watching over you. i will continue to support you silently... i will still be here for you if needed someone... as i said in my fan fic, i am just an ordinary girl who can only look up at a shining star like you...

--

ala nagaadik lang... calvin kasi eh!

Para kay calvin...

ideal girls are impossible
too perfect

Regarding the news in Liberty Times that you are wishing for your ideal girl to come, hope you’ll be able to find her soon but make sure before you settle down she’s the right person we don’t want you to rush and get hurt. Also a reminder just a fan reminder sometimes you have to look deeper than physical appearance hope you’ll be able to get your ideal girl characteristics plus a girl with a good heart and can treasure you forever.



AYAN HA!!!

just finished ouran high host club

at gaya ng sa hana kimi taiwan... wow bitin! bat kasi di pa nagkaaminan si haruhi at tamaki eh!

Pacute lang, blog ko to, bakit ba???

gusto kong malaman mo na nasasaktan na ako sa mga pinaggagagawa mo at pinagsasabi mo. Ikaw rin kuya may kasalanan ka rin sa kin. Gusto kong sabihin sa inyong dalawa na magsama kayo. ikaw kuya, magsasama ka dun sa ahas ha? at ikaw sige lang hanapin mo lang ideal girl mo.






Danson o... inaaway ako ni kuya chun at ni calvin huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu




---

wala addict lang di ko na alam kasi paano aayusin yung S.H.E pinas at yung blog ko sa blogger. pasensya naman...

Pakyu ka

Calvin Chen unable to bear his abstinence of 3 years; worshipped at the temple to find ideal girl




















Sige lang magpray ka lang... suportahan taka...

No Change

No change in title
No increase
No life





Ewan!

Poor Calvin Daw... - Part 2:

After much contemplation at pageenlight sa kin ni josche..

Lika na dito Calvin... hug na kita...

Poor Calvin Daw...

From AF, C/o Flamnego:

Calvin's ex-girlfriend got married and he was not happy with that. Poor Calvin... Well, a lot of girls are waiting for you! Cheer up, Calvin!





























































so anong iniiyak iyak mo jan???

























































di pa kami kinakasal ni Mocomichi OK???

survey again

1. When you were fourteen, who was your favorite band?
`hansons, damage, n'sync, parokya ni edgar

2. Do you repeat yourself often and not realize it?
`minsan

3. Are you afraid of becoming middle-aged?
`hahaha getting there (25 pa lang ako wahahaha)

4. What are seven things you couldn't live without?
mp3, phone, laptop, secure id token, money, tv, dvd

5. What if the furthest you've traveled?
`baguio (makati pede rin bwahahahaaha)

6. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
`yes

7. Have you ever worked with acid during a science experiment?
`always pag engineering student ka

8. Have you ever seen or do you ever want to see an opera?
`musical play oo

9. Do you know a woman named Wanda?
`si wanda ilusyonada

10. What is your favorite thing to do for fun on the weekends?
`surf the net

11. Do you ever listen to songs and music in different languages?
`chinese, korean and japanese

12. Have you ever tried drugs? If so, which ones?
`nicotine and caffeine

13. Do you like the sun or the clouds better?
`clouds

14. Do you think love at first sight is really lust at first sight?
`no

15. What is a material possession you would have difficulty giving up?
`madami eh

16. What do you really want to do right now?
`sleep

17. Would you rather make love or have sex?
`make love bwahahahahahaha

18. Name something that is full of nothing.
`hala? ano yun?

19. What is your favorite memory from your childhood?
`school bus moments

20. Would you rather have knowledge or wisdom?
`both

21. What is your favorite thing to do when you're alone?
`write stories

22. Have you ever donated cans to a charity for the poor?
`yep

23. At what age is the best for you to have a baby?
`28 to 30

24. When you bring a friend to hang out with one of your other friends who they don't know, do you sometimes forget to introduce them?
'no

25. Did you think the remake of the Amityville horror was better, just as good, or worse than the original?
`i didn't watch that

26. Do you know a guy with a name that typically is used for a girl?
`i had a classmate named bernice

27. Are you religious? Do you believe in prayer?
`ofcourse

28. Do you have a guardian angel? If so, who is it?
`michael

29. What is one thing that angers you the most when it comes to relationships?
`walang time

30. How often do you go to the bathroom each day?
`2 times

31. What three places in the world do you want to travel to?
`japan, taiwan, switzerland

32. Do you wear hats? If so, what sort of hats do you wear?
`i love caps. baseball caps

33. Are you feeling any pressure right now? If so, from what?
`yeah. work

34. Do you enjoy the rain?
`yess

35. Is there a threat of tropical disasters (hurricanes, monsoons, etc.) where you live?
`minsan

36. Have you ever run into a door?
`yeah. haha.

37. What do you think of teased hair?
`so retro

38. If you had the chance to skydive, would you?
`no

39. When it comes to bands, do you find the singer more attractive or the guitarist?
`drummer

40. Do you like classic cars?
`slight

41. What is the first thing you think when you see a person wearing a leather jacket?
`kontrabida ito

42. Do you find dreadlocks sexy or disgusting?
`neither

43. If you had the power to freeze time, what would you do with that power?
'freeze time

44. What is your life motto?
`i am stronger than i think i am

45. What color are your toenails painted?
`none

46. Do you listen to orchestra tributes to your favorite band?
`nope

47. When was the last time you cried? What was the reason? Did you feel ridiculous for crying afterwards?
'zettai kareshi... yes wahahahahaa imagine crying over a robot

48. Would you consider yourself more of a leader or a follower?
`both

49. Do you find it annoying when someone is too sarcastic?
`yeah

50. What do you do to cure your headaches?
`advil

51. Have you ever thought of running away?
`yep

52. Do you own diamond jewelry?
`nope

53. Have you ever dated the same person more than once? Did you regret it afterwards?
`nope

54. Have you ever ridden a horse?
`nope.

55. Has anyone ever called you a "bitch." Was it deserved?
`wala pa

56. Were you scared the first time you drove?
`i dont drive yet

57. Do you eat your apples with the skin still on or do you peel it off?
`skin on

58. Name five of your obsessions:
`*nakakatamaaad. haha. :))

59. Have you ever shot a gun?
`nope. ung toy gun. haha.

60. Do you like rap/hip-hop music?
`big bang lang

61. What is a lie you've told that made you feel bad after telling it?
`that... i hate him?

62. Have you ever watched the sun rise?
`yeah.

63. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a pool?
`pool

64. When did you learn how to ride a bike? Who taught you?
`grade 2, my mom and my cousins

65. Do you believe in aliens?
`noooo

66. Do you know a homophobe? Are you friends with them?
`nope

67. Do you think polygamy should be legal?
`yes

68. When you wake up, do you hear birds chirping?
`nope. haha.

69. Have you ever seen an animal eat another animal? On TV or in real life?
`tv & real life.

70. Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Bitch, please?" Why'd you say it?
`nope

71. Are you bitter about anything?
`yeah. still bitter..

72. What do you think of brown belts with black shoes?
`nyc? hahaha.

73. What is the craziest hairstyle or haircut you have ever seen?
`hmm

74. Have you ever got a blister? If so, where did you get it from?
`yup from my shoes

75. What color blush do you wear? pink but i dont wear blush
76. Do you believe every person was put on this earth for a pre-destined reason or do you believe that you create your destiny through your actions? both
77. Is there a person who used to make you happy that you can no longer stand? If so, who is it? si calvin (bwaahahhahha)
78. Would you find deep-sea fishing exciting? no
79. Do you think men are complicated or simple? they are very very complicated
80. Would you rather date a bad boy or a nice boy? Why? bad boy para may adventure
81. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? no
82. Have you ever stepped on glass? Did you need stitches? nope
84. What is the strangest thing you've found a cloud shaped like? stairs
85. Have you ever been in trouble with the law. If so, what happened? nope
86. Do bright lights bother you? sometimes
87. Does loud noise bother you? sometimes
88. Do you believe in reincarnation? yes
89. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made you? If so, what was the worst broken promise made to you? yes... someone promised me he'll come back... di na sya bumalik kahit kelan
90. Do you think the little Buddha statues are cute? yes
91. Who is the most arrogant person you know? ...
92. Would you ever participate in the Running of the Bulls in Spain? no
93. Are you afraid of being burned alive? yes
94. Who was the last person who tried to intrude on your personal business? What did you tell them? none
95. Have you ever let someone boss you around? yes
96. Is it hard to say goodbye to loved ones when you know you'll be gone for a while? yes
97. What are your opinions on people being allowed to own semi-automatic weapons? huh?
98. Do you ever speak without thinking? sometimes
99. What do you think when you see dogs chained up outside? kakatakot
100. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not? yes why not

I was hoping you'd smile at me too...

Totoo siguro yung sinansabi nila pag swerte sa career malas sa lovelife...

si AOTE di na ako pinapansin sa YM
si Vappie malamang di na ako kilala

Sige na nga, nagsend ako ng smile kay Vappie. Mukhang galit pa rin sya sa kin or di na nya ako kilala (note from my alter-ego: malamang kilala ka nya as Tintin not as Keisi... adik ka rin no)

Oo na... nagpalit kasi ako ng name sa friendster malay ba nya kung ako yun di ba (note from my alter-ego: iisipin nya stalker ka bwahahahaha)

Fine stalker na kung stalker...

Teka







Bat nga ba ako nagsend ng smile sa kanya?

dot dot dot

EWAN KO SA YO!!!

Viva Mapua!

> ANO ANG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
> =2000108130
> ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
> = COMPUTER ENGINEERING
> SECOND CHOICE?
> = ECE
> ANO COURSE KINUHA MO?
> = CoE
> NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
> = Hindi
> CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
> = Chinita
> NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
> = slight
> NAKA UNO KA BA?
> = physics
> NAGKA-3?
> = di ka normal na tao kung straight 1 ka... dapat may tres
> LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
> = naman, pwera na lang pag tinatamad
> MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?
> = scholar ako ng pari
> ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO?
> = basta 14 units na lang grad na dapat ako
> NANGARAP KA BA NA MAG-CUM LAUDE?
> = deans lister lang
> BAKIT?
> = hindi ako malupit
> FAVE PROF/S:
> = sir emil
> WORST PROF/S:
> = mam jack
> FAVE SUBJECT/S:
> = calculus, c++, compiler
> WORST SUBJECT:
> = drawing
> FAVE BUILDING:
> = west building
> PABORITONG KAINAN:
> = yung sa eskinita
> MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
> = dati 9 tas naging 15
> LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY?
> = naman palagi ako dun
> NAGPUNTA KA BA SA GUIDANCE?
> = nung first year sko
> MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
> = naman! syempre si sir emil crush ko
> ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO.
> = aerobics, ballroom dancing, indoor and outdoor sports
> MUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
> = a105, kasama ko si gerald fernandez ngayon sa GXS
> MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG?
> = yung M to the I to the T lang
> MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
> = hindi
> NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
> = naman
> VIVA MAPUA!

look at the smirk in my face

bwahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaha


sabi nga nila if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything nice at all


bwahhahahahahahahahahahha


fine i'll stop it na

May Secret Identity ako...

Hulaan nyo....








Bwahahahahaahahahahahaha

I'm 24% boy and 32% girl

MY BOY SIDE
[ ] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[ ] dogs are better than cats
[ ] its hilarious when people get hurt
[ ] you've played with boys on a team
[x ] shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] you own a XBOX
[ ] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[ ] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter
[x ] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
[ ] you watch sports on TV
[ ] gory movies are cool
[ ] you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to collect pokemon
[x ] baggy sweatpants are nice to wear
[ ] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x ] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[ ] sports are fun
[x] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth..
[ ] you have fished at least once
TOTAL = 6.
MY GIRL SIDE
[] you like to shop
[] you wear eyeliner
[x] you wear the color pink
[] you consider cheerleading a sport
[] you hate wearing all black
[x] you like going to the mall
[x] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[] you like wearing jewelry.
[ ] you cried watching 'The Notebook'
[] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[] you've seen Star Wars and don't like it
[] you are/use to be in gymnastics
[x] it takes you around one hour to shower and get dressed
[x] you smile a lot more than you should
[] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes
[] you care about what you look like majority of the time
[] you like wearing dresses whenever you can
[x] you like wearing body spray/deodorant
[] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid. {BARBIE!)
[] you like putting makeup on others.
[x ] you like being the star of almost everything
[x] pink is one of your favorite colors
Total = 8.
now multiply by 4 to get your percentage
and post as,
I'm _% Boyish and _% Girlish

goldfish daw

As for Calvin Chen, he said deeply: “If there is next life, I don’t want to be a human. I want to be a goldfish. This way, even when I am sleeping, I can keep looking at you!”
































Pede ba robot ka na lang sa next life mo?

Necklace

She lowered her head after he heard him speak. "It's over." he said just a while ago. His voice was stern, with no hint of emotions in it. Slowly, she looked up and stared into his eyes. Those black orbs seems so cold, when it was once filled with love... for her. She was trying to fight the tears starting to fall from her eyes, but it was too late. Before she knew it, her cheeks were already wet.

He took the necklace off his neck, and handed it to her. Not looking into her eyes, he turn his back to leave. He could still hear her soft sobs... and her low voice asking him to come back. Fighting the urge to turn around and embrace her, he began to walk away. It's better this way.. it's better before he hurt her more...

--

She saw him. He walked through the halls with his arm around another girl. She stared at the girl walking beside him, and she must admit, she was more than her. She's way prettier, way smarter and way more popular than her. He, the school's heartthrob, only deserves the school's princess, not an ordinary girl like her. That moment, she finally understood the reason why he left – he found another love. He realized she s not worthy of him, that she is not enough for him. She will never enough for him.

He caught her staring at them. As they passed bay her, he turned to her, smirking. Then, she turned to the girl beside him, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He could see her heart breaking in front of him. He knew at that moment, he won. He finally made her realize why he left her in the first place. Everything's finally over between them. As he turned to see her, she turned her eyes away from them, but at the corner of his eyes, he saw the tears that she was trying to hide...

--

It rained that afternoon, but the rain didn't stop her from running. She ran until she reached the empty field. Finally feeling tired, she stopped, and slowly fell down on her knees. And as the skies pour down the rain, tears started to cascade from her eyes. She said to herself that she will not cry for him anymore, but the pain is still fresh in her heart. The more she tried to forget him, the more it's harder for her to move on. She may act brave and strong in front of everyone, but the truth is, she's weak inside. Nobody hears her heart breaking except for her. Nobody understood the pain she is feeling right now.

He is her first love.

Who would've thought that someone like him could love her. Of all the girls that's around him, he chose her to be his girl. They were happy, and she thought their relationship is going well... until the day he broke up with him.

And he is her first heartache.

The day he said goodbye, she felt her heart shattered into a million pieces. He was her everything, her world, her life. He promised her forever. He promised she will be his last love... but his promises were later broken.

She just needed him now to wipe the tears away from her eyes... she wished this is just a nightmare and that he will wake her up from this bad dream, tell her everything is all right... that he won't leave her ever...

But everything that's happening now... it's a reality.

--

He watched her as she fell on her knees. He watched as she cried in the rain. He watched as her heart breaks into pieces. All the pain he is feeling right now, it's all because of him.

He leaned on the glass window, he closed his eyes as he let a silent tear fell from it. He could not bear seeing her like this... Since the day he left her, he have never seen her smile. That's what made him fall in love with her in the first place. She have this smile that brightens up everyone's day. She was always happy and sunny... her laughter is like music to his ears. She always sees the bright side in everything. She is selfless, always thinks of others before herself. She may not be the prettiest girl, but in his eyes, she will always be one. His world revolves around her... everything he does is for her. Even breaking her heart... he thought it's the best thing for her.

He felt guilty for hurting her... but it's better this way. It's better that he hurt her now, and for her to hate him now. She will find another love, he knows. Someday, she will find someone who could be with her forever... he wished he could be that person, but that would be impossible now.

--

She held the the necklace up in the air, and stared at it for a long time. It has been month since he left her, and she's tired of getting hurt. She decided, it's time to move on. She just to forget her love for him... it was the best thing that happened to her, but their love story have already ended.

With all her might, she threw the necklace. Now, it's her turn to say goodbye. She turned her back, to leave the past behind.

--

He saw as she threw his necklace away. Now, he felt his heart shatter into pieces. That necklace is very precious to him, as she gave it to him the day she said yes to him, promising that he will always wear it close to his heart. When she gave him that necklace, she gave him her heart.

He understood, she have decided to forget everything between them... but for him, he will never forget the memories. He will never forget her, even if he's gone. He walked out on the rain. He did his best to find the necklace. Once he found it, he held it up, and then he wore it around his neck. As he turn to leave, he found her standing in front of him. She slowly walked up to him, still crying.

She thought he have forgotten everything about them, but when she watched him looked for the necklace, she knew at that moment that he still loved her. Tears began to fall from his eyes as well as she watched her move closer to her. Then, she embraced her tight, and kissed her dearly on the forehead. He didn't want to let her go... but he suddenly felt weak. He was unable to breathe... he collapsed on the ground, and the last thing he saw before eveything turned black was her lovely face.

--

He slowly opened her eyes, his consciousness drifting back to him. He heard the beeping of the machine beside him, and then he found her staring at him, her eyes filled with worry. He reached up for her, and cupped her cheeks. “I'm sorry...” he whispered. She tried her best to smile, as she nodded her head. She understood now why he decided to leave him that day – he didn't want her to see that he's slowly dying. He didn't want her to know that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise of forever to her, for he will be leaving her soon. If she only knew what he has been going through, then maybe, she would've asked him to stay. She just want to be with him as long as God would allow her to be with him.

She reached for his face, and caressed his pale cheek. He took her hand, and kissed it. If this will be the day the angels will take him, he want to be with her for the last time. He stared into her, memorizing her gentle face. He needed this when hell be gone. He wanted to remember the face of the angel that he loved so much.

He closed his eyes, and memories of them together flashed back before his eyes. He remembered the day he first saw her, the day they first dated, the time he hugged her under the stars. He remembered her sweet kisses, her laugh, her smile. He remembered the hurt look on her face the day he broke up with her, the pain in her eyes when he saw him with another girl. He remembered her crying in the rain because of him, the time she threw the necklace away, the time she caught him with the necklace, the time she walked towards him, and their last kiss before everything blacked out.

He smiled faintly. He had enough memories to leave her... though it's against his will to leave her like this, his body keeps on getting weaker every second. Maybe God gave him another chance so that he could say goodbye to her for the last time. She leaned closer to him, and kissed him on the lips for a long time. Then, he whispered words of love in her ears. His heart just breaks upon hearing her sob.

He closed his eyes. The last thing he saw is her beautiful face smiling at him. He will love her for always, and if he will be given another chance to live, he will spend the next time finding her and loving her. Maybe in the next lifetime, he could keep his promise of forever. His hand slowly let go of hers... as he drift into a deep slumber... forever...

Gusto ko rin ng Absolute Boyfriend...

Gusto ko rin ng robot na boyfriend
Yung hawig ni Calvin

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicle #27 - Rekindling old flames, reminiscing old memories

Let's start from the very beginning

I had this crazy thought... Anyways, it's been 10 years, right? I admit stalking him on Friendster, since he's my friend's friend there. I even had to use my best friend's friendster account in order to add him up. Up to now, I don't have the courage to say sorry for all the childish things I've done. I didn't have the courage to tell him how I feel. I didn't have the courage at all...

Now, I've seen his friendster account again. I wanted to say hi and ask how he's doing, but I'm scared of how he would react. I'm scared of myself as well, because I know if he would say hi, if we would be friends, I can't help but fall for him all over again...

--

And then let's skip at the end.

I saw her message to me at friendster. Can't believe that we were... before... then I got pressured in this thing that I decided to call it quits. No, it's not revenge. Sometimes, a heart just ask for something more... something that we both now we couldn't give to each other.

God, Ge Ge will kill me for this.

Anyway, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be able to meet Ge Ge. I know my lofe will never be the same without him in my life, right?

Friends LANG daw sila

Chatting in the car, Jiro wang's secret relationship is exposed
Source: chinapress.com
Trans: JPOO @ asianfanatics.net


汪 東城 Jiro Wang who has been in the Entertainment industry for 8 years, after joining idol-group Fahrenheit, he is keeping his love life private to protect his idol position.

But a few days ago Jiro was caught at night by a reporter, even when he is extremely busy he still took out his time to accompany "Dream baby" 劉虹翎 Liu Hong Ling (her nickname is dream baby), the two of them chatted inside the car until they realized that some reporters were following them, Jiro immediately drove of, leaving Liu Hong Ling to run away quickly by herself.

Jiro and Liu Hong Ling have actually known each other for 7-8 years, first when they entered the industry when their career wasn't at a good point, they would occassionaly meet up with each other to complain and support each other, but afterwards they gradually lost communication. Until Jiro joined "Fahrenheit" he suddenly became a famous star, approximately 2 months ago, because of one of their friends they met again, and recently they are secretly "going out". through the sources we find out that Jiro and Liu Rong Ling meets up 3-4 times each week, every date they would go out for several hours, going on car rides just like a common pair of lovers.

Even thou Jiro admits that he meets up with Liu Rong Ling he says they meet up because Liu Rong Ling needs to form a band, so she is just asking him to help out play for the band, Jiro claims that him and Liu Rong Ling "aren't lovers are just friends", but Liu Rong Ling has already formed her band ages ago and last year she had many performances in 河岸留言"He An Liu Yan", even on the day when they met up, Liu Rong Ling had just finished the band performance, so do they have to go to a quiet and a place where noone could disturb them to dicuss "work business"? It is obvious that Jiro's words are very suspicious.

Little Drummer Boy part 3

Feeling mo naman ang galing galing mo magdrums??



OO NA MAGALING KA NA!!!! BWISIT!!


Letse gusto mo talagang mainlove ulit ako sa yo no?
Porket lam mo weakness ko talaga drummers?
Oo na panalo ka na nag fall na ulit ako sa yo, happy ka na?

meet thirdy...

Ang karibal ni Blue...

ang gulo ng workstation ko

sabi ko na sa IT kunin na yung desktop ko eh ayaw pa kunin ang gulo tuloy ng station ko... san ka pa! may desktop na may laptop pa wahahahhaahha

Star Epilogue

Epilogue


They say love is lovelier the second time around, but will she give him another chance to love her again?

--

I'd love to make you mine
'Cause it's the only place where I could hold you
In my wild imagination
Still don't know how
To grab a chance and spend some time in just
A simple conversation....

--

The lonely song played on the cab as she rushed to the airport. It was too sudden that Jian Hua decided to visit her in Manila. It has been almost a year, and since Angel's death, she decided not to go back to Taiwan... she needed the time to heal her broken heart. It's been a year, and she have moved on already, she thinks. She have been working for a while as an ER doctor in one of the top hospitals in the Metro.

Although Kelsi decided to stay in Manila for a while, she have kept in touch with Jian Hua. He was like her big brother when she was staying in Taiwan, She knew that when she was in pain, Jian Hua could feel her pain as well. She felt guilty that she was not able to say goodbye to him when she suddenly left for home. Now that he's here, she will make it up to her Ge Ge.

She reached the airport, and patiently waited for Jian Hua's call, She looked at her watch... it was almost 2 PM, and Jian Hua should've arrived almost an hour ago.

--

Just give it a try
Though I'm like chasing rainbows in the sky
I want to hold you in my dreams
And make believe that it's true

--

It's been almost an hour since he arrived. Yi Quan wore his usual disguise of shades and cap. It was a good feeling to comeback to Manila after their concert was held here two years ago. People who passed by him stares at him, perhaps, people would still remember him – the Taiwanese superstar who once captured the hearts of the Filipinos.

Everything felt new to him. There were no screaming crowds following him, there were no banners of welcome for him. There were no cameras, no press people, no media. Somehow, it felt so good that for once he was not treated as a star, but as an ordinary person.

--

Although I know, I know that it's impossible to do
'Cause you're a star, people loved you as you are
You're a million miles away from me...

--

Suddenly, her phone rang, It was Jian Hua. She immediately answered his call. “Kelsi, listen to me...” she heard him say as soon as she answered the call. “I know it been hard for you for the past year... I understand the heartache and pain that you've been through... I'm doing this because I want you to be happy once again...” This made Kelsi very confused. 'What are you saying, Jian Hua?” she asked. “Just wait there from where you are... you will finally find your happiness...”

--

Suddenly, his phone rang. He reached for his phone on his pocket, to find Jian Hua calling him. “I've done my part.” he heard him say. “It's all up to you to have her once again...” Yi Quan smiled to himself “Thanks, Jian Hua...”
“Just promise me you won't hurt her again.”
“I promise Jian Hua..”
“Good. Now, go and get her.”

--

Wish that you were here
'Cause it's illusions every time you're close to me
And sing my love songs

--

Amidst the crowd, he fought his way out. He want to find her so badly. He badly want to hold him in his arms and tell her how sorry he is for breaking his heart. He wanted to tell her how much he loves her, and that he felt empty and lonely after she was gone.

He had everything a man could want – fame, power, fortune... but all of these are meaningless without her. He is nothing without her by his side. Everything that he is right now, it's all because of her. But, he failed to notice her worth... No one was ever made him fell whole, except for him. With her, he felt the love he have always longed for. He only hoped it's not yet too late between them.

He closed his eyes, and he saw her innocent face. A silent tear fell from his eye. If there's a chance he could stay beside her forever, he's willing to give up everything for that one chance. Maybe she's just an ordinary girl who could only look up to a shining star like him, but he's just one of the million stars in the universe that could shine and adore an ordinary girl like her. If everything he have now would fade away, he would be contented as long as he have her by his side. If his love for her is insane, then he'd rather be crazy for the rest of his life.

He opened his eyes, and at one corner, he finally saw her. He saw her turn to leave, he immediately followed her, fighting the busy crowd. Then, he opened his mouth to call out her name...

--

'Cause it's the only way
I could tell the world I love you
Although you're a million miles away

--

She knew at that moment, Jian Hua will never come. She turned to leave, deciding to go home. But as she took a few steps, it's as if her heart was telling her to turn around and go back. She followed her instinct, and as she turned, she saw Yi Quan walking towards her.

She felt all kinds of emotions upon seeing him again. She felt happy, she felt scared, she felt shocked. She felt not ready to see this man walking towards her. It's as if all the walls she have put up around suddenly crumbled at his sight. Her heart beats faster the moment he comes closer to her. Suddenly, she became vulnerable again because of his presence.

Not knowing what to do, she decided to turn around again and leave, but she felt him following her. “Kelsi... stop, please...” he shouted. Kelsi stopped walking. She could already feel the tears in her eyes. She slowly turned around to face him again. “I'm sorry...” he began. “I'm sorry for hurting you...”
“You should not be here... you should not be standing in front of me...”
He walked towards her and held her her hands. “But I am here... I am in front of you...” he said in a low voice. Kelsi struggled to let go from him. “You have already made your choice, Quan. I understand that I am not your choice... just let me go...” she answered. He put a finger on her lips, and stared into her eyes. “You are my choice, Kelsi. You just didn't gave me the chance to say it, but it was you... it has always been you...” he began. “No one has ever made me feel this way but you... I love you.. I love everything that I feel, everything that I am, everything that I become when I'm with you... please Kelsi... please come back to me...I'm not strong enough to let you go this time.”

He held her hand again, and kissed it. “You just have to believe me...” he continued. This time, his eyes were already filled with tears. “I'm begging you, Kelsi... please take me back...” he pleaded her. Kelsi looked up to him, and cupped his cheek. “I thought I have moved on. I thought I have learned to give you up. I thought I'm OK even without you... that I'm contented with just our memories and could live with that for the rest of my life... but you just proved to me that I'm still weak. Because the moment you walked from that crowd... I knew I'm still in love you. I know I'm not strong enough not to love you again...”

Happiness finally filled Yi Quan's heart upon hearing what she said. He love her, and now that he know that she loves him as well, everything just seemed so right. Their eyes met, both of them smiling at each other. He could stare into her big brown eyes for the rest of his life, not minding being lost in it. Without saying a word, he pulled her towards him. He embraced her tight, and kissed her lips for the longest time. She could tell in his kiss that everything he said is true, and that she have found the love that she have always wanted. No words could explain how mucn they feel for each other...

As their lips parted, she smiled at him and tears of joy fell from her eyes. Finally, the star she was adoring at the night sky is within her reach, and he will continue to shine on her for the rest f his life...


THE END

Star - Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Found


“You’re just giving up on me like that?” he said to her bitterly. He glared at her, but she just turned away from him. She was not able to see the pain in his eyes because of what she said. “I thought you love me, Kelsi, I – “
“Because I realized loving you is the most painful thing I've ever felt in my entire life... and it's hurting you too. I don't want to see you like this... I don't want to make it hard for you, Quan that's why I'm giving way to her. That's why I'm letting you go...”

He lowered his head. He just can’t believe she’s doing this to him. He should be the one who should choose and make the decision, not her… but it seems that the more he does not speak, the more it’s hurting her. He blames himself for causing her all this pain. “You really don’t understand, don’t you…” he thought to himself. “I love you, Kelsi... and I.... it's you...” he said to himself. He searched for her eyes, and found tears starting to fall from it. At that moment, he wanted to wipe those tears from her eyes, embrace her and whisper to her that she got it all wrong... that he's choosing her... that he have made his decision long ago. He realized Ah Sa's just part of his past, and all though he love her as well, he can only see his present and future with Kelsi.

He felt her hand touch her cheek, and then she looked up at him. He felt her lips touch his, and then she leaned over him. “Goodbye, Zuo Yi Quan...” he heard her whisper. He was stunned at what he heard, he felt someone poured water on him and he became too numb – too numb that he was unaware of the tears in his own eyes, too numb that he can't even move to stop her from leaving. It was after Kelsi was gone that everything just sinked in to him.

He's alone.
Kelsi just said goodbye.
He caused her too much pain that she decided to give him up.
She was gone.
Everything is over.

What Kelsi didn't see after she turned her back to leave... is the tears that fell from Yi Quan's eyes...

--

Yi Quan slowly walked back to his pad. As he opened the door, he found Ah Sa on his couch, patiently waiting for him. Ah Sa stood up from her seat. “What happened?” Ah Sa asked in a worried tone. He just looked at her, then went to the couch and sat beside her. “She's gone...” he said in a low voice. Then, he looked at her and forced himself to smile. “She gave me up. You won.”
“You're choosing me now?”
“Yes...”

Ah Sa smiled at him, and hugged him tight. “I promise I won't make the same mistake that I did before...” she said to him. Yi Quan just closed his eyes as he embrace her back. He know deep in his heart, he is lying to himself, and to Ah Sa, but he have hurt Kelsi enough... and he didn't want Ah Sa to feel the same pain that Kelsi is feeling now...

--

Manila.

“What happened?” Kelsi asked the nurse as they headed to the emergency room. “The guy was drunk when he was driving, then he hit the girl.” the nurse explained to her. She took the metal folder from the nurse's hand and headed to where her patient is. She pulled the curtain, and much to her surprise, her patient looked exactly like Yi Quan. She immediately opened the folder, and sighed with relief when she read the name of her patient. “Tristan Liang Si Nan...” she read to herself. She sighed with relief. If this man I front of her is Yi Quan, she wouldn't know what to do. She composed herself, then began to face her patient. “So, you're the drunk driver...”

--
A Year Later.

“Why are you so quiet, Quan?” Ah Sa asked. They were having dinner that night to celebrate their anniversary, and all through out the night, Quan is not speaking. “I guess I'm just a little tired...” ha said. Ah Sa leaned back to her seat, and gave him a seductive smile. “Want to rest at my place?” she asked again. Yi Quan just shook his head. “I'm not up tp it right now...” he said in a low voice. Then, he looked up at her, then held her hand. “Would it be OK if I take you home now... I'm not feeling really well...” The smile on Ah Sa's face faded. She sighed with disappointment She have been planning this perfect night for the two of them, just for it to end this soon. “I'm really sorry, Ah Sa... it's just that -”
“I understand. Just take me home.”

As Yi Quan was driving her home, the two of them were silent. He knew his girlfriend is mad at him for ruining their anniversary, but he's not just comfortable with the idea of celebrating this day Exactly this day, Kelsi decided to leave him. After all this time, he knew he have not moved on from their break up. He did all he could to see her or contact her, but he found out that she went back to Manila all of sudden. Finally, they reached Ah Sa's house. He stopped his car, and just watched as Ah Sa got out of the car. She never spoke a word as she got out, or even kissed him goodbye. He watched her as she open her door and got inside the house. “I'm sorry...” he said.

--

He opened the door, and found Xiao Yu waiting for him inside his pad. He smiled at him. “Hey, bro!” Xiao Yu greeted. “Hey, Xiao Yu...” he said. He went to the couch and sat beside Xiao Yu. Xiao Yu noticed Yi Quan's gloomy face. “What's wrong? This is supposed to be a special day for you and Ah Sa. Did the two of you had a fight?” he asked Yi Quan. “Most likely. I think I upset her. I'm feeling really tired so I have to cut our date short...” Xiao Yu just shook his head. He could sense that Yi Quan's loneliness started even before their anniversary date. In fact, he have been this way for almost a year. He may not say it, but he knew it's because of Kelsi. Ever since she have gone, Yi Quan became like a zombie.

“It's Kelsi, isn't it?” he finally asked. Yi Quan looked at him, and nodded his head. “It's just that I can't forget everything...” he said in a low voice. “Before you could learn to forget, you have to learn to forgive yourself, Quan. You were confused that time, and you were not able to choose right away. It's just that Kelsi realized that you're in a very difficult situation that's why she chose to leave you...”
“I have been lying to myself all this time, Xiao Yu. I'm lying to myself, to Ah Sa, to everyone. This relationship... it's just a lie.”
'Then why did you accept Ah Sa although you know inside your heart that you don't love her?”

Yi Quan paused and looked at Xiao Yu. “Are you scared of being alone?” he asked again. “P-partly... yes... After Kelsi left, I felt all alone... and Ah Sa's there to comfort me. I... I thought I could learn to love her again... but I can't love her anymore, not the way I loved her before...” Xiao Yu put his hand on Yi Quan's shoulder. “You know, Quan, you have to be true to your heart for once. You said it yourself, you're lying in front of everyone. If you continue this lie, it's more likely that you'll be left all alone...” Xiao Yu said. “What should I do? Break up with Ah Sa?”
“If that's the way that you can be true to yourself, then do it.”
“I'm scared to hurt her...”
“You don't have to be scared. It's better to hurt her with the truth than slowly kill her with your lie.”

Xiao Yu tapped him and gave him an assuring smile. “Trust me...”

--

That night, Yi Quan couldn't sleep. He have been thinking of what Xiao Yu told him a while ago. “Maybe Xiao Yu's right...” he thought. “I have to do it, not for myself, but for Ah Sa... so that she could finally find her happiness...”

He went out of the balcony and looked up at the stars. His thought were filled with Kelsi once again “I wonder if Kelsi's also looking up to these stars...” he thought. Just then, he saw a shooting star. He closed his eyes and made a wish. “I wish... I wish for Kelsi's happiness”

--

She gave him a hard slap on the face. His cheek was red because of it. “How... how could you...” she said in tears. He turned his eyes away from her. “I'm sorry...” he said in a low voice. “I tried to love you.... but...”
“Why can't you choose me again?”
He looked up at her. This is what he's scared of the most – that when he sees the tears on her eyes, he would be pity her again. He doesn't want to make the same mistake... he just have to tell her the truth... because he's not just lying in front of her and in front of everybody. He's already lying to himself...

“I'm sorry Ah Sa, I'm not asking you to understand. I'm asking you to let me go.” Yi Quan said. Ah Sa fell on the floor as she cried. Yi Quan reached for her, and wiped the tear from her cheeks. “I don't want to lie to you anymore, because I know I will just hurt you more.” he said to her in a low voice. “I am doing this for the two of us... so that you could also find your happiness, because as long as you are with me I will only hurt you...”
“I don't give a damn... just stay with me, please... Quan...”
“I can't anymore, Ah Sa. I don't love you like I did before...” Then, he kissed her on the cheek. “Maybe I'm not the guy for you... maybe someone else is meant for you. I hope one day you will find him...”

--

Yi Quan have been driving for a long time, and in a while he found himself stopping at a familiar place. He got out of the car, and stood before Kelsi's apartment. He reached for the door, and pushed it to find that it's open. He went inside the apartment, and from there, he saw Kelsi's landlord as he was packing Kelsi's things into a box. “She... isn't she coming back?” he asked. The landlord was startled to see him. “Oh, it's you!” he said, giving Quan a smile. “I'm not sure if she would be coming back. After all, it's been a year. I need this place rented out so I'm putting away all of her things...”
“How much would it be if I rent this place?”
“NT$5,000 for a month.”
Yi Quan smiled at him, then reached for his pocket. He walked over the landlord and gave him the money. “I'm going to rent this place. No need to put away everything... just leave it as it is.” he said. The landlord was surprised at what he said. He then took the money from his hand. “Thank you... thank you so much...” he said. Yi Quan just smiled at him. “I'll be renting this place until Kelsi comes back...”
“But what if she doesn't? It's been a year since she left... and she have not contacted me since. All I know is that she already resigned from the hospital.”
“I will still wait for her. I know she will come back...”

The landlord just smiled at him. “You really love her so much... why don't you follow her to the Philippines and tell her how you feel?” he asked. Yi Quan just shook her head.”I'd rather wait for her. If she comes back, then I know we're meant to be... If she is happy now, I don't want to ruin it just because I want her back...” he said. The landlord just shook his head. “It's not that, my lad. Sometimes waiting doesn't get you something. I you want her... if you love her... you have to go to her...” he said. He tapped him on the shoulder and smiled. “I'll leave you now for you to look around, and for you to decide what to do.”

After the landlord left, Yi Quan looked around Kelsi's place. He took one book from the bookshelf, and opened it. He scanned through it's pages, then suddenly, something fell on the floor. He looked at it, and he saw a violet envelope on the floor. He picked it up and stared at it. “This looks familiar...” he thought. Out of curiosity, he opened it, and read it's content. The letter was addressed to him.

Dear Yi Quan,

How are you doing? I hope you're recovering after the accident. I'm glad that I was able to see you up close. You may not know it, but I am the doctor who attended to you at the Emergency room. Yes, it's me... I am Kelsi. I know it's a little confusing because I'm using 'Angel' as the name in my letters, but the truth is, Angel is the name of my sick sister. She idolizes you and looks up to you... and she seeks my help in writing you a letter. Please don't get mad at me because of this. I maybe using her name, but the things that you read on my letters, those really came from my heart

I'm so happy that we were able to talk. We were able to talk for a short time during your concert here in Manila, but the long conversations that we had during your stay at the hospital are the happiest memories of my life I hope we could be close friends even if you have already left the hospital.

Kelsi

Yi Quan was surprised at what he have read. His anonymous fan, the one who's fan mail he always look forward to... it's Kelsi. It was her all along. That's why she felt too familiar the very first time that he saw her. His heart have been telling it to him, but he have not heeded it.

As he looked at her study table, another violet envelope caught his attention. He immediately took it and read the letter inside it. It turns out to be her last letter to him.

Dear Yi Quan,

This might be the last time you'll hear for me. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for all the happy memories we shared for the last few months. I'm sorry if I was weak... that I just gave up like that... but I can't bear seeing you hurt because of me... because of her... that's why I chose to let you go. God knows I love you so much that I'm willing to give you everything, especially your happiness... even if it means I'm not part of it. I am thankful that I had the chance to get to know you, to be with you and to love you even if it's just for a short period of time. You will always be the best thing that ever happened in my life. I'm sorry for being selfish... I'm sorry for everything...

I will always love you no matter what,

Kelsi

--

The first thing he did as soon as he got home is find his assistant. “Mei Ru!” he called as soon as he opened the door. Mei Ru immediately approached him. “Yes, Mr. Zuo?”
“Those letters... from Angel... do you still have those?”
“Yes, Mr. Zuo.”
“Please get it, quick.”

After a while, Mei Ru came back with the box that contains Angel's letters. He took one, and read it, then he compared it to the letters he got at Kelsi's apartment. He have confirmed it – Kelsi was really the one who sent her those letters. “Kelsi is Angel...” he finally said to Mei Ru. Mei Ru was just silent. “I never thought she... she and this Angel who wrote me is one and the same... Because, you know what, the first time I read Angel's letter, I fell in love with her...”
“I... I already knew Kelsi is Angel... even before you met her...” Mei Ru finally said. Yi Quan was surprised at what he heard. He then looked up at his assistant. “You knew? Why didn't you tell me?” he asked. “Kelsi asked me to keep this from you. She said it would better this way, so that she could love you from afar. It was beyond her wild dreams that you could fall in love with her.”

Yi Quan let out a faint smile. His tears were starting to form at the corner of his eyes. “And now... it's too late, isn't it?” he asked Mei Ru. His assistant just shook his head. “It's not yet too late, Mr. Zuo. You can still have her if you are willing to fight for what you feel. Once in a while, we do talk... and in those times, she would still ask all about you. I could sense she still love you. I know you still stand a chance with her...” Yi Quan nodded his head. “You're right, Mei Ru. I should fight for what I feel. I should follow what my heart is telling me this time.” he said. Then, he looked up at him again. “I'm going to find her. This time, I will never let her go.”

--

A tall figure walked towards the hospital lobby. Everyone's staring at him, although he wore his usual disguise of cap and shades. As soon as he found the man, he's looking for, he stopped. He watched him, as he talked with his colleague, but he know he already felt his presence. As soon as his colleague left, he looked at him. “What do you want?” Jian Hua asked in an irritated tone. The tall figure just smiled as he approached him. “I heard you're going to Manila for a vacation...”
“Why do you care?”
“I need a favor to ask...”
Then, he told him his favor. He could see that Jian Hua is not interested in what he just said. “I can't let him hurt her like that again... I'm sorry but I can't do you anymore favors.” he said. He turned his back at him, but he call him again. “You don' have to be worried about Kelsi, Wallace. I know he will take care of her this time. If you can't do this for him, then do this for Kelsi.... let her be happy this time.” Jian Hua looked back at him and glared. “Fine, Ill do it...” he said. “But this will be the last favor you'll ask of me, Jin Xiu Yi...”

Guess Who!

Kanino namang tenga yan?

At kanino naman galing yang suot nyang earrings? ha?

Star - Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Breakdown


“You have to come home... Angel... she's gone...”

--

“Are you happy?”
“Yes, I am the happiest girl alive...”
“I'm glad that you are...”

Silence.

“Promise me... even when I am gone, you'll continue to be happy no matter what...”

--

She stood before the door. At the far end, she found a white coffin. She walked slowly towards the coffin, ignoring the looks of the people in that room. As she reached the coffin, she peeked at the glass, and found her smiling face. It's as if she was just slumbering peacefully, and that she's having a beautiful dream. She just wished she was just sleeping, but the truth is, she's gone. She's lying lifeless on the coffin.

“Angel...” she whispered her name, hoping she would be able to hear it. She doesn't want to believe that she's gone. She doesn't want to believe that she have left them. But, she was standing before her lifeless body. She fought the tears from coming out of her eyes. She's tired of crying. She's tired of shedding tears. Angel died knowing she was happy, and it would be better if she leave it at that. Somehow, she felt guilty. While she was struggling to fight for love, her sister was struggling for her life. Whenever they talked on the phone, she lied to her, saying she's happy with Yi Quan. She didn't want Angel to know what she's going through. She doesn't want her sister to know about the heartache she had. She felt guilty for not keeping her promise...

--

“Angel, why are you still up?” Kelsi asked as she opened the door to her sister's room. “I'm waiting for a TV show...” Angel said weakly as she pressed the button on the remote control. Kelsi entered her room, and sat beside her. “You know that you should be sleeping early. Have you taken your medicines?” she asked again. “Yes I did as soon as I ate my dinner.” Angel said, still not taking her eyes of the television. Kelsi just looked at her sister and smiled.

When Angel was still a baby, she was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease. Lately, her sister have been sick, and she have been in and out of the hospital. Good thing it was their semestral break, and she can look at Kelsi's needs. “By the way, what are you watching?” she asked her little sister. Angel looked up at her and smiled. “It's 'Falling in love with a prince'. It's a Taiwanese series.” she explained. Kelsi gave her a skeptical look “And since when have you learned to speak Taiwanese?”
“It's dubbed. Anyway, the lead actor is really cute. I think his name is Jason Zuo...”

After a while, the show came on, and Kelsi decided to watch it with her sister. She must admit, this Taiwanese star is really handsome and she was attracted to him. “I wonder how many heart he have broken already...” she thought. Then, she looked at her sister, who was smiling at her. “You like her, ate?” she asked. “He's cute and all that... but no... not my type.” she answered. “Oh, but if you research about him, you'll find out he's your dream guy... he can sing, he speaks Japanese, he's a Bleach fan, he's a fan of Utada Hikaru, he can play drums, and he loves kids!”

Kelsi gave her the look again. If she's not mistaken, the things Angel said were in her diary entry. “Angel, are you reading my diary again?” she asked. The latter can't help but smile innocently at her big sister. “Sorry, ate....”

--

“I want to do something...” Kelsi heard her sister say as they were watching her favorite show. Kelsi looked at her. “What is it?”
“I want to write him a letter?”

Kelsi looked at her with disbelief. “Why? Do you think he would understand English?” she asked. “Oh, haven't I told you? Of course he would. Have I told you he studied abroad during his college years?”
“You seem to really know a lot about this guy. Do you know where you're going to write him?”
“I have the address...”
“Then go and send him a letter...”
“But there's one problem... my penmanship is really bad... can you write him for me?”

--

“I have something to confess to you...” Kelsi said in a low voice as she brushed her sister's hair. “I think I have fallen in love with him...” she continued. Angel just gave her a weak smile. “I knew you would...” she answered in a weak voice. “I know you're still writing letters for him in my behalf...”
“I think I'm crazy because of what I feel for him...”
“No, you're not... because I am in love with him as well. He's my first love, you know...”

--

“I'm going to Taiwan for my internship.”
“Good for you, ate... you'll finally see him there...”
“I don't think I would be able to see him.”
“Don't lose hope. I know you would be able to see him. And I know, he'll be able to know who you are... I could sense he'll fall in love with you the moment he laid his eyes on you.”
“That's impossible...”
“Have I told you I can read the future?”

--

“Promise me... promise me you'll follow your heart no matter what...”

--

“We are gathered here to say our final goodbye to Angel Ramirez – a loving daughter, sister, and friend...” Kelsi felt she was still in daze. Before she knew it, the priest's prayer have ended. She, her parents and her brother came up to Angel's coffin and kissed her for the last time. When it was already her turn, she kissed Angel on the cheeks, and put the white rose she's holding into her hand. As her coffin was being lowered to the ground, tear started to fall from her eyes. “Angel...” she called.

The funeral have ended and everybody have left. “Kels, let's go...” she heard her brother said. She stared at ground where her sister was buried. Feeling so weak, she fell on her knees as she breaks down. That moment, she let her emotion come through her. That time, she cried once again. She cried for the love she have lost, she cried for the sister she have lost, she cried for herself...

--

A few days after Angel's funeral, Kelsi went to her room for the first time. Nothing have changed since the day she left for Taiwan. Her room is still tidy, with the pink walls making it more alive. She stared into the empty bed. Before, she and Angel would lie down on that bed as they watched Yi Quan on TV. They would joke around, and they would write letters for Yi Quan together. Now that Angel's gone, they won't be able to do it anymore. It's as if part of her died when her sister left them, and she knew she will never be the same again.

At one corner of her eye, she saw Yi Quan's picture lying on her sister's side table. She picked it up, and stared at it for the long time, as if memorizing everything in him. Then, she sat on the bed, and turned the TV on. The snow effect on the screen came into halt as the channels changed. His image came into the screen, as he smiled. The camera drew closer to his boyish face, and in an instance, her world seemed to stop. She went in front of the TV screen. She never took her eyes off him, or even blinked. God knows she have loved him more than anything else in the world. She loved him with all his heart, and she silently thanked him for making her live her dream. But then, she have stop now... because loving him each day is just tearing her apart.

She reached out for his face on the screen, and touched his pixelated cheek. She closed her eyes, and suddenly, a tear fell from it. She remembered the first time she cried in front of this television, because she thought she would never have a chance to be with him. Now, she's crying because of the memory he have left her. She was crying because of a love she tried to fight for, but gave up in the end. She knew for herself she was not ready to lose this man... but she just have to give him up for her love for him is just breaking her apart. 'This madness have to stop...” she said to herself. She took one last look at the screen. She reached for it, and gently kissed his cheek. Then, she turned the TV off. She have to learn to live without him in her life, just as the way she lived her life before. She used to be an ordinary girl who adored a shining star, until this star suddenly became her world. She have to learn to eventually let him go.

She have decided to let go of this shining star, for loving him made her feel the most painful thing in the world. As she shut the TV off, she will be shutting him in her life forever...

I finally got it!

Isang good morning ang bumati sa kin today. Sabi ng mama ko, may
dumating daw na package sa kin. So nung gumising na ako, binuksan ko
yung package ko, at in farness sa kanya ang hrap buksan ha?? unanh
bumulaga sa kin yung gwapong mukha ng hunny ko na si Calvin!

Anyways,nagpre-order ako nung third album ng Fahrenheit. HK version. What I got
is the CD, the Chun and Calvin notebook na may 16 page ng photos from
their concert, syempre yung CD na may 11 tracks, lyrics sheet na
pagkalakilaki na akala mo photobook na. Sad to say, walang poster and
DVD

Star - Chapter 13

Chapter 13 - The Decision


Baby, tell me that you still believe
That you still love me the way I love you
If you take it all away from me
You know I would die
'cause I'm not ready for goodbye...

--

She gave him a hard slap on the face. His cheek was red because of it. “How... how could you...” she said in tears. He turned his eyes away from her. “I'm sorry...” he said in a low voice. “I tried to love you.... but...”
“Why can't you choose me again?”
He looked up at her. This is what he's scared of the most – that when he sees the tears on her eyes, he would be pity her again. He doesn't want to make the same mistake... he just have to tell her the truth... because he's not just lying in front of her and in front of everybody. He's already lying to himself...

--

“You just have to let me talk to you... please...” Yi Quan whispered on the phone. It was another night of trying to call Kelsi. The past few days, Kelsi have refused to talk to him. Whenever he calls her up, it was just her answering machine that would answer him. “Please, Kelsi... I know you're there. Pick up the phone. Let me talk to you... let me explain everything...” he pleaded again. He was a little exhausted and irritated with what's happening between the two of them. He know it's all his fault, and Kelsi's not to be blame. But why can't she hear her out. “Kels... please... just listen to my explanation. If you think that's enough, then you can do whatever you want... just hear me out... I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for you at my pad. I'll wait for you no matter what. You just have to give me a chance...” then, after that, he hang up the phone

Little did he know, Kelsi have been listening to him all the time. Maybe she have been harsh to him by not answering his phone call. Maybe she made it all hard for him as well. She have always wanted a chance to be with him, now that he's giving her a chance, why does she have to make him beg for her?

Then, she finally decided. She grabbed her shoulder bag, and headed to his pad.

--

He was startled with a loud knock on the door. He have been waiting for Kelsi for a long time. He stood up from his seat, and rushed to the door. “I've been waiting for you!” he said with a smile on his face. But that smile faded to find Ah Sa standing by his door. “I know you are...” Ah Sa said as she put her arms around his neck. “W-what are you doing here?” Yi Quan asked. “I missed you, darling...” she whispered to his ear. Then, she reached for him, and passionately kissed him on the lips. Yi Quan pulled away from her. “What are you doing?” he shouted at her. Then, he looked up to find Kelsi looking at them. He could see the shock and hurt in her eyes because of the scene she just witnessed. “Kelsi...” he called. Kelsi just turned her back on him, and ran away. “Kelsi!” Yi Quan shouted. He was about to run after him, but Ah Sa stopped him by holding his hand. “Don't run after her...” she said. Yi Quan looked at her, then took her hand off him, and ran after Kelsi.

Finally, Yi Quan was able to reach Kelsi by the elevator. She was already inside the elevator, and the doors were about to close, but he stopped the door from closing by using his hand. He went inside the elevator and stood in front of her. “Kelsi...”
“You shouldn't be here...” he heard her say. “Go back to Ah Sa. She needs you more that I need you.” her eyes turned away from him.
“Kelsi, listen to me...”
“You don't have to explain to me, Quan. I understand. I understand everything...”
Kelsi stood in front of Yi Quan. Her head, hanging low, for she was trying to hide the tears that were about to fall from her eyes. “I knew from the start I'll be losing you to her...” she began. “I know your feelings from her are stronger than what you feel for me... that you have always loved her. It just hurts because I felt you're only using me to forget her...”
“It's not what you think, Kelsi.”
“I know it's not what I think... I made myself believe that I stand a chance with you, that I am worthy of your love... but when I saw you back there with her... when I saw you kissing her... I knew I just lost the fight. She won. She will always have your heart...”

Kelsi looked up at him as she wiped the tear from her eyes. “The more you can't decide. The more, I am hurting. That's why I'm going to make a decision for you. Be with Ah Sa... be with her. I am letting you go... no, I am giving you up. You were never mine to keep with in the first place...” she said. Yi Quan stood, surprised at what she said. “You're just giving up on me like that?” he said bitterly. “I thought you love me, Kelsi. I-”
“Because I realized loving you is the most painful thing I've ever felt in my entire life... and it's hurting you too. I don't want to see you like this... I don't want to make it hard for you, Quan that's why I'm giving way to her. That's why I'm letting you go...”

She reached to his cheek, and kissed him for the last time. “Goodbye, Zuo Yi Quan...” she whispered to his ear. As the elevator door opened, she walked away from him. This time, she know it's for good.

--

"Do you think, if I am not an artist, we would still meet?"
"Yes... if God would allow us to meet... if it's destiny... then we would meet..."
"And we'll still fall in love with each other, right?"
"I would still fall in love with you, Quan... though you're not a star anymore"

She walked through the deserted street as she headed home. Her mind is filled with her memories of Yi Quan...

"Did you know that you just made this day the happiest day of my life?"
"And this would be mine too... if you tell me that you love me too..."

She thought their love would last. She thought her love is strong enough to keep him, but she was wrong. But, there was no regret for her. Being with Yi Quan is the best memory in her life. And even if their love has ended, she could live with just memories of him. “I guess this is where our story ends...” she thought. She have said goodbye to him... now it's all up to her to move on. She felt the tears starting to fall from her eyes again. Before it could, she wiped it. “I won't cry again... this will be the last time I'll cry for him...” she swore to herself.

--

She sat on her bed as she watched the television. It just didn't help that the face being flashed on the screen is Yi Quan's. It's been a week since they broke up. She have been hearing that Yi Quan finally got back with Ah Sa... she thought after all of these, she could pick up the pieces and move on... but healing her broken heart is a really difficult process. She turned the TV off. Then, she closed her eyes... even in the dark, she could see his face, smiling at her. She shed a tear once more. She know she told herself she won't cry for him, but the pain in her heart is just too much.

Just then, she heard the phone ring. She immediately took it and answered the call. “Hello...”
“Hello... Kelsi? This is Jeff.”
“Jeff?”
“You have to come home soon... Angel... she's gone...”

She felt numb upon hearing that news. She dropped the phone, and fell on the floor, still in daze. Before she knew it, her tears were flowing again...

--

Dear Yi Quan,

This might be the last time you'll hear for me. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for all the happy memories we shared for the last few months. I'm sorry if I was weak... that I just gave up like that... but I can't bear seeing you hurt because of me... because of her... that's why I chose to let you go. God knows I love you so much that I'm willing to give you everything, especially your happiness... even if it means I'm not part of it. I am thankful that I had the chance to get to know you, to be with you and to love you even if it's just for a short period of time. You will always be the best thing that ever happened in my life. I'm sorry for being selfish... I'm sorry for everything...

I will always love you no matter what,

Kelsi