Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Perfect

I realized … it’s not about everything going right. Thank god it isn’t, because everything that could’ve gone wrong that night … did. Nothing went as planned.

It’s when everything goes horribly wrong … and you realize … even then that you’d want to spend that same horrible evening with that person rather than have the perfect evening with anyone else in the world … it’s then that you have to be pretty stupid not to grasp …

That between you and her …

A little bit of love has to exist

-My Only Angel (fanfic).

Believe

“How much of what you believe is reality and how much of it is your insecurity?”

- My Only Angel (fan fic)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

year-end survey again

Website of the year: frhfamily forum, multiply, winglin

Person of the year: chun and calvin

Couple of the year: chan and faye, chun and ella, chun at ah sa (yuck!), calvin and *toot*

Night of the year: nung nagovernight kami kina tintin

Trip Out of Town of the year: baguio!

Restaurant of the year: gerry's

Game of the year: corrupt a wish hehehhe

Formal Event of the year: gxs christmas party?

Quote of the year: for crying out loud!

Teacher of the year: ms, gap

Gift of the year: laptop :D

Expense of the year: laptop, fm she, frh's third album

New hobby of the year: ffp, gumawa ng fan fic

Dessert of the year: cake

Dish of the year: tapsilog

House of the year: tin's, ikay's

Party of the year: jiro's b-day bash

Drink of the year: white mocha frappe, san mig light

Mall of the year: megamall

Haircut of the year: huh?

Panalo picture of the year: madame masyado... mga pic ng laiteam

Prof of the Year: Literature prof

Sleepover of the Year: kina tintin

Scary movie of the Year: butterfly lover hehehe joke - the mummy na lang

Movie of the Year: a very special love

Funny Film of the Year: a very special love pa rin

Hot actor of the Year: jason statham

Hot Actress of the Year: rainie yang

Weight Loss of the Year: hmmmm wala

Monday, December 29, 2008

the best of 2008

1.) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
hungry hippo's bacon burger meal!

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend):
my sis, meiyuri

3) NEWCOMER AWARD – COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?:
madami ito eh... ffp definitely

3) HIGHEST POINT OF THE YEAR?
July!:)

4) LOWEST POINT OF THE YEAR?:
may

5) BEST HOLIDAY?:
christmas

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2008?
tumatakbo by mojofly

7) best movie FOR 2008?
twilight

8) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH AND WHERE?
with pie sa sm north edsa

9) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
wala

10) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR (di fastfood)?
gerry's

11) KISS OF THE YEAR?
huh?

12) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
lumipat ng kumpanya, imeet ang hana kimers ng pex

13) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
go back to st. jo to talk to OSA regarding our reunion, prepare for ffp's 1st year anniv, apply for advertising company

14) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN YOU GOT DRUNK?
told everyone i have a crush on nel, pero di ko talaga siya crush

15) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
hana kimi :D

16) BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT?:
got in an it company, got promoted

17) HEARTBREAKER OF THE YEAR?:
chun nyahaha

18) BIGGEST CHANGE FOR THE YEAR?
in all fairness to me madalas na ako lumabas ngayon... may social life na ako!

19) NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?
save more money

20) BLOCKMATE OF THE YEAR?
gerald

21) SITE OF THE YEAR?
multiply, ffp forum

22) COUPLE OF THE YEAR?
chunella :D

23) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
burger

24) SUBJECT OF THE YEAR?
MAJOR - subject sa mga emails ko wahahahaha

25) SEATMATE OF THE YEAR?
ms. gap

26) STORE OF THE YEAR?
bilihan ng cd sa st. francis

27) CRUSH OF THE YEAR?
aote

28) YM BUDDY OF THE YEAR?
josche

29) MAYOR OF THE YEAR?
mayor???

30) CLUB OF THE YEAR
ffp!

31)PERSON OF THE YEAR????
myself

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #26 - So what's in store for me?

Just a few days from now, and it will be 2009...

To tell you honestly, I have no concrete plans for 2009. Well, I know FFP will always be one of my priorities... then there's my new work as a Tier 2... but as I've mentioned... no concrete plans.

But there are things that I am thinking through... like work. God... I feel like I'm going to mess up anytime soon. I am not ready for this. I feel like the-guy-who-made-me-cry-because-of-a-freaking-email is just waiting for me to mess up. I can already imagine the smirk on his face. People believe in me, and trusts in me that's why I am in this position, the problem is I dont believe and trust myself, and it's complicating everything.

I'm not sure what else I'll do this year. Seems like all the things I wanted, I've already done in 2008.

to be continued...

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Star - Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Heartaches
A tall figure walked along the hospital lobby. Only the sound of her heels were being heard around the place. She stopped walking as soon as she saw the nurses' station. She took off her shades as she watched her talk with a colleague, she must have disturb the two with her presence, for as soon as they looked up at her, her colleague said goodbye to her, and left. “You must be Kelsi?” she asked. She looked up at her and nodded her head. She smirked at Kelsi. “I don't think I have to introduce myself anymore...”
“You don't have to. I know who you are...”

Silence.

--

Yi Quan woke up the next day with a throbbing headache. He sat up from his bed as he massaged his head, then he realized that he was naked. He looked to his side, and he saw Ah Sa sleeping peacefully beside him, also naked. He shook his head upon realizing just what happened last night. He felt more guilty than ever. How could he sleep with her, and make love to her? How could he betray the girl who loves her?

After a while, he felt her move. He looked down at her, and watched as she slowly opened her eyes. The moment she saw him staring at her, she smiled. “Good morning, honey...” she said. Then, she sat up on the bed and reached for him to kiss on the cheek. Before her lips could touch his cheek, he turned away from her. “What's wrong with you?” she asked. “This... this is wrong, Ah Sa...” he said in a low voice. She reached for his face, and pulled it towards her. “No, it's not, Yi Quan. I love you... and I know you still love me...”
“You just don't understand. I can't love you anymore... because...”
“Because?”

Ah Sa waited for his answer, but he just turned away from her again. He stood up from the bed and walked away from her. “Ah Sa... please leave now before someone could see us together.” he said. “But why? You just have to tell me, Yi Quan. Tell me why can't you love me again?” she asked in a demanding tone. Yi Quan looked back at her. “Because I have someone else... someone who love me more than anything else, and I just can't hurt her...” he finally answered.
She looked up at him. She could sense Yi Quan's guilt – not to her, but to someone else. She thought that when she comes back, she would easily have him back as well. Though she cheated at him, she said to herself that she would do everything to amend her mistakes. She now realizes it's harder than she thought, because there is another girl between them. “Do you love her more than you loved me?” she asked, with a hint of hurt in her voice. Yi Quan turned to her. He paused, not knowing what to say to her. He love Kelsi, he is sure of that. But what he's not sure is who do he love more. Ah Sa's sudden appearance just made him more confused, because all the feelings he have for her, all the love he felt for her, all of it suddenly came back. It didn't help much that he made love to her just last night.

Ah Sa stood up from the bed, covering herself with the blanket, and walked up to him. She have to prove to herself that she still stand a chance with this man. Then, she reached up to him and kissed him passionately on the lips, and he did not resist at all.

--

That morning, Kelsi was trying to call Yi Quan on his mobile phone, but it seems that he turned his phone off. She called him at his home, but nobody's answering as well. “Where is he...” she thought. She sighed. She could sense something... her instinct is telling her something... but she doesn't want to believe it. A while ago, she turned the TV on, and the news she saw is all about Ah Sa coming back, and she making a movie with Yi Quan. While watching the news, she felt as if someone poured cold water on her. She wanted to think that Yi Quan got together with Ah Sa, but she dismissed at that thought. She trusts him so much, and she know she would never do that to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone knock at the door. She stood up from the couch and opened it. It was Jian Hua. “Good morning!” he said, smiling at her. He put the bags he is holding in the air to show it. “I brought breakfast.” he said. Kelsi just forced a smile, and let him in. Jian Hua noticed how worried and sad she looked like. “Anything wrong?”
“No... nothing's wrong, Wallace.”
“Then why are you so gloomy?”

Kelsi didn't looked at him, nor answered his question. “Is it because he stood you up last night?” he asked again. This time, Kelsi looked up a him. “How... how did you know?” she asked. “I never left the hospital till someone came for you. Too bad, it wasn't superstar but just his assistant...” he answered. Kelsi just lowered her head. “He's just busy, I guess... “ she said. Jian Hua gave her a stern look. “Stop making excuses for Zuo Yi Quan, Kelsi.”
“I'm not making excuses for him. It's the truth...”
“Then why did he denied you in the public? How can you make an excuse for what he did?”

Kelsi did not answer him. Instead, she turned away to him again. “I'm not making excuses for him...” she said in a low voice. “I'm just saying what I think... because...” then, she turned and looked him straight into his eyes. “I don't want to think that something's going wrong between us...” Jian Hua gave her a startled look. “What do you mean?”
“She's back... the girl he once loved...”

--

“Tell me, who is she?” Ah Sa asked Yi Quan as she hugged him tight. They were lying on the bed after making love again that morning. Yi Quan just stroked her hair as he kissed her on her forehead. “Kelsi...she... she's the most amazing girl I've met. When I met her, it's as if I've known her all my life...” he answered. Ah Sa looked up at him. She could feel a sting in her heart as he describe this girl, Kelsi. “Do... do you really love her that much?” she asked again. Again, he didn't answer her question. Ah Sa hugged him tighter. “I know I still stand a chance, Yi Quan. I'm not giving up on you...” she said. Even if she have to hurt someone's feelings, she'll do it just to have Yi Quan by herself.

--

Jian Hua and Kelsi found themselves standing in front of Yi Quan's pad. “Are you sure about this?” Kelsi asked him as she held the doorknob. “This is the only way we could find out if your instincts are right or not...”
“But this means I don't trust him...”
“Or would you rather get crazy with your thoughts?”

Kelsi didn't argue with him anymore. Slowly, she opened the door. She could hear Yi Quan's laugh... but he's not alone. She peeked inside, and she saw him on the table having breakfast. He was having breakfast with someone... and that someone is Ah Sa. She saw how Yi Quan smiled at her. She saw how he fed her. She saw how she lovingly kissed her on the lips. She fought the tears from falling from her eyes. She put on a brave front as she faced Jian Hua. The last thing she wants is for him to see her in pain. She forced a smile as she turned to him. “Nothing's there.” she said as she shrugged her shoulder. But, Jian Hua didn't believe her. He held the door, wanting it to open wide. “I said nothing's there, Wallace!” she said. 'Then, let me take a peek... will you?” he told her. “I thought I heard something...”

Before Jian Hua could open the door, Kelsi held his hand to stop him. “Please don't...” she said. She looked up at him, her eyes, pleading him. Wallace just gave her a stern look, as if saying to let him handle the situation. Then, she let him go, and walked away from him. Jian Hua watched as Kelsi left. Nothing could stop him now to find the truth. He opened the door wide, and the two lovebirds inside the pad looked at him with surprise...

--

Yi Quan and Ah Sa were startled as they saw Jian Hua by the door. He could see the anger in his eyes as he approached them. “Jian Hua...” Yi Quan muttered. Before he knew it, Jian Hua let out a strong punch, which made him fell on the floor. “What are you doing?” Ah Sa shouted at him. She came up to Yi Quan, and helped him up. Jian Hua just ignored Ah Sa, and faced Yi Quan once again. “That's for breaking Kelsi's heart.” Jian Hua said in a hard tone. With that, Jian Hua turned to leave.

--

Kelsi walked back to her apartment. This time, tears can't help falling from her eyes. Her thoughts were still filled with the scene she saw at Yi Quan's pad that morning. Her gut feel was right. Something is going on, and something is bound to go wrong. When she saw him kiss her back, she felt her heart broke into a million pieces. It's as if she can't breathe because of the pain she's feeling. Her eyes were blurred because of her tears, and she could not think straight. She absentmindedly crossed the street, not knowing that car was fast approaching her. She heard a loud honk from the car, and before she could move, she felt someone pull her back. Someone hugged her to protect her from being hit by the car.

As soon as the car left, she turned her back to find Yi Quan. He looked at her with the sorry look on his face, but she didn't bother looking up to him. Instead, she walked as fast as she could away from him. “Kelsi!” she heard him call her. But she never looked back or stop. She could feel that Yi Quan's following her. She just continued walking away from him. “Kelsi... please stop... let me explain...” she heard him say. This time, Kelsi stopped and looked at him as he walked towards her. “Let's talk... please...” he pleaded.

--

“She's back... isn't she...” Kelsi began. Yi Quan looked at her and nodded his head. Kelsi let out a faint smile. “I knew it...” she mumbled. “It's not what you think, Kelsi...” he said. This time, Kelsi looked up to him. “But something must've happened, right?” she asked. Yi Quan became quiet. “Is she asking you to take her back?” she asked again. Yi Quan slowly nodded his head again. “Are you going to take her back?” she asked. She was hoping Yi Quan would say no. she was hoping Yi Quan would tell her she was just thinking too much, that nothing will ever change between them even if Ah Sa's getting in the way. “Kelsi... I...” he began. “I'm confused now... I'm more confused now more than ever...”
“But you love me, right?”
“I do love you Kelsi... believe me...”
“But whats wrong? Tell me you're not coming back to her...”

This time, Kelsi can't help but breakdown in front of him. Yi Quan took her into his arms, and embraced her. “Kelsi, listen to me...” he said. “You're the last person I want to see hurting because of me... but I needed the time and the space to think things over. I love you, I really do. But when I saw Ah Sa... I got confused... I'm sorry...”
“Do you still love her?”

She waited for his answer. She watched him as he closed his eyes. He slowly nodded his head. “I realized I never stopped loving her...” he said in a low voice. He opened his eyes to find tears on her eyes. It pained him more to see her cry, but he just have to admit to her what he feels inside. He didn't want to lie to her, because he knows it will complicate more in the future if he lied to her. He reached for her face, and wiped the tear on her cheek. “I'm sorry that I have to put you through this pain. I'm sorry that I was not strong enough. I just need to think things through... I assure you and I promise you we'll get through this... just give me time...” he said. He could already feel the tears falling from his eyes. He never thought everything would end up this way. He never thought that there would come a time that he will be unsure of how he felt for her. Kelsi cupped his cheeks with his hands, and stared into his black orbs. “I will give you time if that's what you want... I'm willing to wait for you... but you have to make up your mind soon because... because it's breaking my heart...” she said. “Call me selfish, but I'm not willing to lose you... I won't give way to her. I won't give you up for her...” Then, Yi Quan moved closer to her. He kissed her lips, hoping it won't be for the last time. After their long kiss, he stood up and started to walk away from her.

“You are not selfish Kelsi...” he thought. “I am the one who's selfish...”

--

“What do you want to talk about?” Kelsi asked as soon as she and Ah Sa settled in a cafe. “It's about Yi Quan...” she said. Kelsi just looked at her. She knew what's going on her mind. “What about him?”
“I love him, Kelsi...”
“I love him too.”
“I want him back in my life...”
“One day, Yi Quan will decide who between us should stay in his heart. He will choose who between us whom he love more.”
“He is my life, Kelsi...”

Kelsi just looked at her, then she shook her head. “If he is your life...” she began. “Why did you have to betray him? Why did you have to leave him and went away with his best friend?” Ah Sa just lowered her head, unable to answer what Kelsi asked her. “I know I have no right to pry into your life, and whatever happened before between you and Yi Quan, it's the past and it's none of my business anymore. I am with him now. I'm not going to give him up to you.” she said. Ah Sa then looked to her and gave a faint smile. “Yes, you're right. Whatever that happened before... it's none of your business. But I'm back. I'm willing to do everything for him to forgive me. And like you, I'm going to fight for what I feel for him.” Ah Sa said. With that, she stood up from her seat, and began to walk away from her. “Then, may the best woman win.” she heard Kelsi say. Ah Sa stopped and faced her again. “Yes... and I know he will chose me.”

Silence.

“After all...” she continued. “I know he still have feelings left for me...”

So what happened to my 2008?

  1. By February 2008, I was hired as Technical Support Engineer at GXS, and I said goodbye to my colleagues at NCO
  2. I met people, who like me, are fans of Fahrenheit and other Asian artists
  3. We didn't have electricity for like 6 months
  4. Got to see Wu Chun and Calvin Chen in person... and oh yeah, Evan, a Korean artist and VJ Isak
  5. I handled a really difficult account
  6. Got promoted
  7. I was able to go to Baguio
  8. Met the new apple of my eye
  9. Got SHE's new album
  10. Got a laptop
  11. Had the guts to publish my stories online

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Star - Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – The unseen tears



“I know he loved me dearly, and I feel the same way for him...”

“I understand why he did the things he did a while ago...”

“I believe everything he say, especially when he says that he loves me...”

“But why do I feel that something's going wrong?”

“Why do I feel that I'm starting to lose him?”

“I've told myself that I'll be contented with what we have now... That I would accept it if he would be gone in my life... but I'm not yet ready for this... I'm not yet ready to lose him....”

“Am I being selfish? Am I asking too much? Is this too much?”


Silence.


“Was it wrong for me to love him with all my life?”


Silence.


Tears began to fall from her eyes. She have had enough heartbreak for a day. She doesn't need the feeling of losing Yi Quan. She doesn't need this strong gut feel. She doesn't want the feeling she's feeling right now. Most of all, she doesn't need this paranoia.


She need to see him, she need him to assure her that everything's going to be all right, and tell her that she's thinking too much...


But he's not around to comfort her.


He put his arm around her and comforted her. He pulled him to his chest, as she let her cry onto his shoulder. Mei Ru could only watch as she cries. He was here merely as a substitute for Yi Quan, and as her friend. She doesn't need another heartache,she understand. He decided not to tell Yi Quan's whereabouts.


If only Yi Quan would decide sooner who he will he choose...


--


He sat across the woman who broke his heart. He looked into her eyes, she was smiling at the people around them. He felt the familiar pain when he saw her in bed with his best friend. But what startled him more, was he felt a confusion in his heart.


He was silent during dinner, an only speaks up when being asked. He was not comfortable with the fact that he is facing Ah Sa. He was not yet ready to see her, not now. Though he have moved on, the pain in his heart still remained. “Yi Quan, why don't you drive Ah Sa home?” Dennis said to him. Yi Quan looked up at him, and gave a sly smile. “I don't think that would be appropriate.” he said. Then, he glared at Ah Sa. “We broke up a long time ago...” he continued. Dennis and Ah Ken could feel the tension growing between Ah Sa and Yi Quan. “Well... It would be much better if the you two would talk about what happened. It would be for the best since the two of you would be working together, right?” Dennis said. Ah Ken walked towards Yi Quan and leaned over him. “Do what he says or else...” he hissed at him. Yi Quan glared at him, He then looked at Ah Sa, then back at Ah Ken. “All right...” he said, giving in to them. “I'll take her home.”


--


Yi Quan stopped the car in front of Ah Sa's house. During the drive, there was an awkward silence between them. “Here we are...” he said coldly to her. Ah Sa gave Yi Quan a smile, trying to break the ice between them. “Would you like to come in?” she asked. Yi Quan looked away from her. “To tell you the truth, Ah Sa, Im not ready to see you after everything that happened between us... I'm not ready to see Nan as well...” he replied. Ah Sa looked at Yi Quan, her smiled slowly faded from her face. “Yi Quan... you still have not forgiven me, haven't you?” she said in a low voice. “You still have not forgiven me and Nan...”

“I have forgiven you, but I have not forgotten how you broke my heart.”


Ah Sa leaned closer to Yi Quan, and pull his face to hers. “Yi Quan...” He glared at her. “You can't do this, Ah Sa... you can't break someone's heart, leave and come back as if nothing happened. I can't pretend nothing happened, because you know what, it took me along time to forget about you. It took a lot of effort for me to move on.” Tears began to fall from Ah Sa's eyes. She have anticipated this, his wrath, but shes willing to endure everything as long as she could have him back. “Yi Quan... I came back for you. I realized that I still love you... Please take me back... please choose me again...” she begged him. He took her hands away from him, and turned away from her. “I'm sorry, I can't choose you anymore...” he said. “Is there someone else?” she asked. Yi Quan didn't answer her, but instead let out a sigh. “It's that fan girl, right?” she asked again. This time, Yi Quan looked at her and stared into her eyes. “It's none of your business anymore, Ah Sa. Whoever it is that I chose to love... it's none of your business...”


Ah Sa is still determined to have him back. Desperate, she pulled Yi Quan and kissed him passionately. After a while, Yi Quan pulled away from her. 'Leave me, Ah Sa...” he said in a low voice. “I cant love you... not anymore...” Ah Sa shook her head as she speak. “I won't give up on you, Yi Quan. I know, deep in your heart, you still love me.” she said. With that, Ah Sa left Yi Quan in his car. What she didn't know is that when she left, she also left a big confusion in his heart...


--


“Mr. Zuo, about Ms. Kelsi -”

“Please, Mei Ru... leave me alone for the mean time...”

“But Mr. Zuo, Ms. Kelsi is waiting for you at the hospital...”


Yi Quan looked up at him with a worried look in his face. “Mei Ru, please do me a favor... please pick her up at the hospital and send her home...” he said. Mei Ru nodded his head and headed out of the door. As soon as Mei Ru left, he stood up from the couch and headed to his mini bar. He poured himself a glass of wine, and drunk it all up. He felt guilty for denying Kelsi, for standing her up, and most of all, for being confused about he feels for her. He was not ready to see Ah Sa. He was not ready to feel what he felt the moment he saw her. The truth is, he could not deny that he was still attracted to her, and the love he thought that have died the day she cheated on her, resurfaced once again.


The truth is, he wanted Ah Sa back. He could've taken her back at that moment, but he thought about Kelsi. He loved her as well, and he could feel her love for him is unconditional. She was willing to be on the sidelines so that he could continue being a superstar. She risked being denied by him, because she loves him so much, and he felt he was being a jerk. Ya Se's right, maybe he was just using her as a rebound. “This isn't right...” he thought.


He poured himself another glass of wine, and drank it again. As soon as he finished it, he poured the wine into his glass again. He is still in love with Ah Sa. Despite everything, she's still the one she wants. He just couldn't understand why... maybe it's because of the fact that only Ah Sa could satisfy his needs as a man... something that Kelsi could not give to her.


He heard the door slowly opened. He turned around and saw Ah Sa enter his pad. “What are you doing here?” he asked in a calm tone. “I won't give up on you, Yi Quan...” she said as she walked towards her. As she walked, she slowly took off the coat she was wearing, revealing the her skin in a sexy little black dress. “You shouldn't be here, Ah Sa...” he said, turning away from her. She put her arm around him, and pulled his face towards her. “Give me a chance to love you again, Yi Quan.... please...” she begged again. Yi Quan looked in a different direction, because he know if she looked into her eyes, he would be more confused, or worse, he might give in to her. Ah Sa moved closer to him, and before he knew it, her lips have touched his, kissing him as passionate as ever. Being the man he is, all his defenses were down, and he finally gave in to her that night...


--


“No, you are not being selfish... it was him that's being selfish...”

“No, it's not wrong for you to love him, because I know he loved you as much as you do...”

“He is blind if he won't realize that he deserves you more than anything else... I've seen how you sacrificed for him...”

“But...”


He paused. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her she's back... but he can't bear to see her heart breaking. “You... you just have to fight for him... if you do love him, you have to fight for what you feel...”


At that moment, he knew, it will be the start of her heartbreak. He just wish he could see the unseen tears in her eye... so that he would make his choice soon... and he hoped he will make the right choice this time...



Friday, December 26, 2008

my 2008

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
** chased a guy, handled several accounts, be on leave for only a few days

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
** yep

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
** wala

4. Did anyone close to you die?
** none

5. What countries did you visit?
** wala

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
** money, lovelife

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

** feb 19, march 30, july 12-14, aug 30, october 11

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
** was able to get in an IT company (finally!), gained friends who understood my addiction, saw "the" guy in person, got promoted

9. What was your biggest failure?

** next please

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
** lagnat lang

11. What was the best thing you bought?
** FM SHE CD and my laptop

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
** my 2nd family

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
** someone... and mine

14. Where did most of your money go?
** gimik, food, gifts for...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
** july 12 ;)

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
** hmmm... xin wo rin like betsy and everything by ss501

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier? yup
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? both? hehehe

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
** save money, chased some more

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
less fat?

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
** at work

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

** read my other entries to fond out

23. How many one-night stands?
** how i wish lol

24. What was your favorite TV program?
**fated to love you ;)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

** slight...

26. What was the best book you read?
** saving francesca by melina marchetta... sobrang kakarelate kasi ako

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

** hmmm... ss501 siguro and paramore and i j-pop

28. What did you want and get?
** flourishing career

29. What did you want and not get?
** malupit na lovelife

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
** a very special love (may ganun) wahahahahaa

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
** i worked on my brithday then went on leave the next day :D 25 na ako


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
** if only i had the guts to go near him... or ask him out for dinner

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
** jeans ans shirt pa rin

34. What kept you sane?
** my fahrenheit family, my wifeys, my mom


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
** calvin chen and kim hyun joong

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
** GMA

37. Who did you miss?

** a guy who must not be named ;)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
** madami eh... basta yung second family ko

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
** there's nothing wrong in taking risks, and i am stronger than i think i am. God won't give me something that He knows I could not handle

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
** i've had a time of my life and i never felt this way before... yes i swear it's true and i owe it all to you...

**suddenly in my life something got me mystified... i cannot hide it but i can try to keep the wonder of it alive

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Did he just...??

08:13:25 PM
24/12/2008

May nagtext ng Merry Christmas sa kin...

MERRY NA TALAGA CHRISTMAS KO!!!!

Did he just...??

May gusto akong makitang tao...

Hindi yung iniisip nyo, nakita ko naman na sya

hindi rin yung sa, may moment na ako sa kanya

Gusto ko siya makita...

Siya lang...

Kung pede lang sana...

--

I'm so sorry... but it's over...

Next In Line

Whew... sa wakas, I just finished "Fated to Love You" last Saturday. I loved the ending!!! Sana may Part 2 (ano naman ang ipapart 2???) Anyways, I loved how Cun Xi got Xin Yi to marry him... pero medyo gago rin si Cun Xi kasi ang fickle-minded nya...

Then, episode 7 na pala ako ng "Reaching for the Stars". In all fairness kay Guo Yan Jun, wafu siya. I just don't like Shan Dong that much (forgot his name, pero siya yung ex-bf ni Barbie Hsu sa Corner With Love).

Then, "Top on the Forbidden City". I've been hearing maganda daw tong series na to so I bought the DVD in Binondo during our shopping EB. I have always liked Gino in frog prince... and I hated JR coz di sya masyadong gwapo dun sa show nila ni Jason Hsu and Zax Wang (I don't know the title... basta parang 100% entertainment sya... Red Storm ata title...) pero nung napanood ko sya sa TOFC, . Yun lang

Still struggling to watch RP. I tried to watch the Tagalized version DVD I had, pero the mere fact that the CC event's included in the CD... well... next please!

I rewatched Hana Kimi Jap. Watched the part where Nakatsu was suspected to cheat during midterms. Actually, it's one of my favorite episodes because Toma-kun gets to sing "Ikenai Taiyou" at the end (waaaahhh +1000000000 points). Also watched episode 12 of Hana Kimi Taiwan, love the part where Quan told Julia that he knows Rui Xi is a girl... then Rui Xi's imagination (yung part na iniimagine nya na bakla si Quan... wahahahhaa)

Struggled to watch 7 episodes of X Family (Danson! Danson! Danson!) and finsihed disc 1 of KO One (Ya Se! Ya Se! Ya Se!)

Still on episode 1 of TKA

Di ko pa nasasalang yung CD ko ng Green Forest my home (baka maawa lang ako kay Owen)

The Rose, still stuck on episode 1

SIRA DVD KO NG SUMMER X SUMMER!!! ARRRGGGHHHH

episode 6 na ako ng Sailor Moon live (gusto ko manood ng gag show bakit ba? PAKSHET WALA NGA YUNG EPISODE 0 to 2 pati yung SP at yung mini episodes!!! ARRRRGGGHHH)

Episode 1 pa rin ng Tokyo Juliet, Full Count

Episode 6 na ako ng Mean Girl Ah Chun (PLEASE PAKITULUNGAN NAMAN AKO HANAPIN TITLE NUNG INSERT SONG NUN...)

yun lang... dami pa nakasalang eh..

Plus new fan fics... wahahaahaha

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #25: There is a Merry thing about Christmas... somehow...

I'm not so sure but this year's Christmas seems to be the most depressing one for me. I just started my work as a Tier 2 just last week, and technically, this is my 1st week working as one. I should be happy right? Think again...

I just had a conversation with Gap two days ago about my promotion. To tell you the truth, I've been wanting to talk to her... I badly needed her sisterly advice... I want her second opinions about the crucial decisions I made in my life. I badly needed someone I can talk to about work... and she's the only I know who could understand me. I was planning to do that during the our Baguio trip, but I was not able to talk to her, have a one-on-one session with her because there was a "tampuhan" that happened between her and Nelson and Kim. And so, I just kept things to myself. I may look excited outside, but the truth is, inside me there's a lot of fears... there's a lot of hesitation... in my mind, there's the thought of backing out, of resigning, of leaving all these things behind simply because I was scared. Funny, I thought I'm ready to leave my comfort zone, but the truth is... I am not. It's the reason why I was happy when Sir Darwin informed me I am not going to Ohio, because I know for myself I am not ready.

I was scared of the sudden changes that's happening to me. It was overwhelming. It was something unexpected. I was excited. But... I was scared...

Being the perfectionist that I am, I don't want to make mistakes. There's no room for mistakes for me. Even if I did, I don't want to make the same mistakes as I did before. Work has been stressing me out, because I was "obsessing" with the thought that I will mess up. And most of all... it seems that I didn't belong here. Well, that is until last night when I joined the team on their lunch out last night. They seem so close and the guys are not that bad... Suddenly, I want to be here... I want to stay here... I want to learn and strive to be the best

I forgot the reasons why I chose this path - it's because I wanted to learn more. It's because I know being a Tier 2 can make me grow as a person. I forgot why I was chosen to be one - because they know I can handle thing. As my mantra goes, God will not give me something that I know I can never handle. I handled my account, I cried blood and tears, till everything is OK. This is a big challenge for me, the one opprotunity I should not let pass by. I know I can do this... as long as I have trust in myself.

--

OK, enough of work.

It's been months, and still, my mom and my uncle is still not talking. I should be happy right? I hated the man to the bones... but somehow it's a sad thing. We are a family. Whatever it is that he have done to me, I have forgiven him even if he didn't say sorry. Christmas is suppose to be a time for families, but it just seems it's just me and my mom now.

When grandma's still a live, Christmas and New Year are days that I look forward to. I get to see my cousins, my aunt and my uncles, I get to talk to my relatives abroad, we eat together the Noche Buena that my mom and my aunt prepared...

Then...

Everything changed on the year my grandma died. Everyone was all about who gets the right to the house. Everyone is against each other. Everyone hated my mom, trying to bring us down... It was the most chaotic part of my life. It's the one thing I wanted to forget.

Would it be too much to ask us to be a family once again?

--

I am thankful for my friends...

I am thankful my wifeys are there for me...

I got Josche's offline message a while ago, trying to cheer me up. Lately I've been really really down. It's because I can't understand myself anymore, and I can't understand why these things have been happening to me. They are the people who distracts me from my problems (in a good way), who laughs with me, cheers for me, who stood up for me...

I'm glad I met these girls...

--

2008 was the best year for me since I met those people who understood me, who became my second family. 2008 is the best for me because my wish came tru - I saw Chun, I saw Calvin, I got in an IT company, I got promoted. I am hopeful 2009 will be a greater year for me.

--

I am slowly seeing the light..

Somehow, there is Merry in Christmas this year. I just have to be more optimistic.

Monday, December 22, 2008

My baby...

I'm in love...

I have a new love...

His name is Blue...

And this time, there's not letting go

Friday, December 19, 2008

Time to move on Part 2

At least I still have my wifeys...

Pero we can only chat till 6 PM...

Hirap maging newbie!

Time to move on

3rd day ko as Tier 2, pero kahit papano bumababa pa rin ako sa 35th floor para makita yung mga peeps

And unfortunately I feel like I don't belong anymore...

Guess it's time to move on...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #24: Upstairs

Just got back my from 2-day birthday leave last week. I was expecting to go up when I come back, but that did not happen till yesterday. So officially, I'm a tier 2. Medyo nakakapanibago tsaka kailangan matutunan ko na lahat...

Ngarag...

As in..

Haaayy good luck sa kin

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ito na naman???

Both Calvin and Wu Chun have intentions to get married and to have a stable relationship

YAOI BA ITO?????

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Birthday Thanks

My birthday will end in a few minutes... so before it does, I would like to thank these people who made my 1st day of my 25th year on Earth memorable

  1. Those who greeted me through text, the first one being Ianne... wow, we haven't been in touch for so long but you still remembered my birthday! thanks pare
  2. My Fahrenheit Family, who greeted me through text and through PM and through C-box... you made my 25 years on earth really meaningful guys
  3. My wifeys, Josche, Tin, Daph, Laine... Josche, you made my day
  4. To the apple of my eye, for making one of my wishes come true... hope we'll have a longer and more meaningful conversation next time
  5. My mom... for the wonderful spaghetti
  6. My BAM-EMEA family for the surprise they put on my workstation... I so love it! I will sure miss you all when I go "upstairs"
  7. Robert Adach, for making my life easier for the last 7 months and for believing and trusting in me
  8. My lil sis for always being there
  9. For my seniors for always being there to help me out
  10. Ms. Gap... for trusting in me in everything
  11. Fahrenheit,(may ganun?) for being my inspiration... especially
  12. Wu Chun who turned my life 180 degrees (may ganun ulit?)
  13. VOQ team, the best team ever... for simply being the best team I ever had!

Well that's it, my birthday is officially over. I'm officially 25 years old. Hope you all will still continue to be there for me, and bear all of my insanities in this life.

This is Keisi. Welcome to my Quarterlife Crisis.

My birthday

When I came to work this afternoon...

This is what I saw on my workstation:

Thanks to my BAM-EMEA family!!! Ai Ni!!!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #23 - Mantra

I am stronger than I think I am

God will not give me a problem I know I can't handle

I can do it

I will take the risk

My brithday wish

Yesterday... I finally got one of my birthday wishes...

I PM'd him...

He answered back

We had a conversation...

A really long one

Though it was cut short since he got offline...

But at least God answered my wish ayt?

Hmmm...

How I wish I could see him again...

Too much to ask?

I don't know...

Today is a special day

Today is my day

But today is not just my special day...

It's also a special day for the woman who had me for 10 months...

So it's not just my birthday...

It's also my mom's birthday :D

Ano na naman ba ito?

Calvin Chen goes totally out: ‘As long as we are fully clothed, she can touch my whole body if she wants.”

At kanino ka naman pagbabahimas ha????

Monday, December 8, 2008

I'm so bad trip

Nakakadagdag sa pressure ng upcoming pagakyat ko sa taas is yung sabihan ka ng mga kasama mo na "Uyyy Tier 2 ka na" tapos pag may issue sila ihihirit sa yo na "Uy gawin mo yan Tier 2 ka na"

First of all...

Kahit Tier 2 na ako... nakikita nyo pa ako sa upuan ko. Nasa BAM-EMEA pa ako. Tier 1 pa rin ako technically dahil di pa ako pinaakyat. MAS LALO LANG NAKAKADAGDAG SA PRESSURE NA NADARAMA KO NGAYON. I dont mean to be mean pero I would highly appreciate it kung hindi nyo ipagduduldulan sa kin na Tier 2 na ako.

Thank you.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Review ng Four Seasons of Love

Story Title : The Four Seasons of Love
Author : weepingangel
URL : www.winglin.net/fanfic/weepingangel2/
Reviewed by : xiaojun @ bubblePOP

Disclaimer/Warning: Since I do not know the writer nor vice versa, I have nothing against the writer. I have to admit that I am a strict reviewer, but that is only because I think that being a reviewer, I have to be honest to both the writer and myself and I'm here to help the writer improve on their next attempt. All comments are my personal views and may not reflect what majority of the readers think.

Appearance (Poster. Background, Font, Colors, etc.) - /10
Not applicable.
There's no poster/background graphic and the colour choice is Winglin's default colours.

Title 5/5
The main title "The Four Seasons of Love" and I love your sub-heading for each chapter.

Forewords - /10
Not applicable.
I normally do not grade this section for one-shot collection.

Plot 12/15
"Spring: For You in Full Bloom"
It was quite sudden that Calvin regrets getting married to Genie. But generally, the pace is alright.
"Summer: Hate That I love you"
I like the part where you keep changing POVs between the guys and the girls. Although it maybe a bit confusing at first, but after reading through that part slowly, it's actually very interesting. But I must say, I am more used to the commonly used names of these people (i.e. Danson for Yu Zhe, Hebe for Fu Zhen, Ella for Jia Hua, Jiro for Da Dong etc). And the ending is kinda sweet.
"Winter: Ti Amo"
Nothing much to complain about. Sad but sweet story.
"Autumn: Three Words"
It was nothing out of the extraordinary while reading it, but the ending was... heart-breaking. Although it's not right for siblings to fall in love, but somehow I was still hoping for a happy ending.

General comments - The plot for your stories are a bit over-used. But I still like them. It's always the simplest kind of love story that touches the heart of many.

Spelling, Grammer & Punctuation 6/10
Some typo mistakes here and there. You might need to get someone to help you proof-read.

Style 12/15
I'm quite fine with your way of writing. I find it quite detailed but not too detailed in a sense that it becomes a drag reading your story.

Description 8/10
Your description is quite detailed and while reading, it seems as if I was there with your characters.

Characters 8/10
Except for your first one-shot, "Spring: For You in Full Bloom", the rest of your stories I would say that it is not the very common pairings (Jir-Lina, Be-Bu, Chun-Ella). Something new and fresh for me.

Overall 13/15
I quite enjoy reading your story and the length of your story is just right. I would have like it better if you have a beautiful poster to attract my attention.

Total 64/80

64 out of 80.... hmmm... not bad nyahahahaha

Review ng Four Seasons of Love

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #My Birthday wish...

1. Career Growth, sana magtagal ako sa GXS

2. Sana mapansin na ako ni Apple Of The Eye

3. Sana forever ang friendships namin ng Family ko

4. Sana di na ako papuntahin sa Ohio - actually natupad na ito... YESH!!!

5. Sana makapanood ako ng concert ng Fahrenheit or ng S.H.E

6. Di ko na iwiwish na sana makita ko si Chun kasi nakita ko na sya...

7. Pero sana makita ko si Calvin ulit

8. Sana manalo ako sa lotto

9. Sana matuto na ako ng Japanese or ng Chinese

10. Sana...

LORD PLEASE BIGYAN MO NA AKO NG MALUPIT NA LOVE LIFE!!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

8 more days to go

1. Your nickname plus "ness"? Keisiness

2. Your whole name? Kristina Laragan Angeles

3. What are you listening to right now? Ai Wo ni Danson Tang

4. Bought anything in the last 31 days worth more than P10,000? don't ask

5. Describe where you are right now? office, pumepetiks

6.The highlight of your week? baguio

7. What are you craving to have right now? ewan

8. Who were the last people you ate with? si Gap

9. Where do you usually hangout when you're bored? sa kwarto

10. How long does it take you to take a bath? 30 mins

11. Last song you sang out loud? Everything ng SS501

13. Are you thinking of someone right now? wala problemado ako sa bagong position ko, maski si Calvin di ko na naiisip

14. Last movie that made you cry? Daddy Long Legs

15. Last thing you downloaded on your computer? Mp3 ng Going Under

16. Ate anything exotic? wala

17. Which do you prefer eating: vegetables or seafoods? SEAFOODS :DDD

18. Do you drive? sana

19. M & M's or Hersheys? snickers

-- NO 20-22.

23. Who was the last person to text you? si joschie

24. Where was the last place you went besides where you are? hmmm cubao

25. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? may kamukha daw ako di ko lang matandaan

26. Can you speak Spanish? nope

27. Last thing you watched on TV? princess hours

28. Do you dress for style or comfort? comfort

29. Name someone with the same birthday as you. hmmmm la ako maisip eh...

30. What's the wildest thing you've ever done? wala

31. Do you listen to classical music? sometimes

32. Who's your favorite cartoon character? st. tail

33. Who do you love? marami

34. Do you have any pets? None.

35. What are your plans for tonight? manood ng dvd ng fated to love you

36. What are you looking forward for tomorrow? absent

37. Name one person you would trade places with. yung bossing ko

38. Favorite song? everything ng ss501, bu hui ai ng fahrenheit, hao xing qin just be yourself ng s.h.e

39. Last time you smiled? kanina lang
40. Last movie you saw? daddy long legs