I'm scared...

I'm scared...

Because if there's one thing I fear most in life, is that I lose one of my important senses. I fear that I will become a useless person if I did. I don't want to be blind, nor deaf, nor mute. I would rather be numb for the rest of my life, or have the inability to smell. But I'm not ready to be blind, deaf or mute.

I need my eyes so that I can see my surroundings. I need my ears to hear the music and to listen better. I need my mouth so that I can communicate with other people. I guess all of us needs these parts of our body, but isn't it ironic that we tend to neglect these important parts? We abuse our eyes by staying all night in front of a TV or a computer. We abuse our ears by playing loud music on our mp3 players. We abuse our voice by shouting and by saying cuss words.

Why am I saying this?

It's because there is a possibility that I'm going to be deaf soon.

I have an ear infection in my left ear, and according to the doctor, it's already perforated. My right ear is swollen inside. The doctor told me that I should see a specialist so that my left ear can be saved. Then I asked her, is there a possibility that I'm going to be deaf? She said yes.

When she told me that, I was fighting the urge to cry. I am not a musician, but I am a person that appreciates music. I can't live with silence, that I know. There are sounds in this world that I love, which I know I won't be able to hear anymore when I become deaf.

I might not be able to hear his voice again.
I might not be able to hear my friend's laughter again.
I might not be able to hear her soft sobs again.
I might not be able to hear those familiar music.

These thoughts have been hunting me till I got to sleep early this morning. All possible things that will happen when I become deaf. I've been asking myself, what will happen to me? Will I be able to keep my job, despite my handicap? And most of all, my mom... I'm worried about her. I know I've been a burden for her for years, and it was only this time that I was able to make it up to her, and in the end she have to take care of me.

I'm scared...
I really am...

I know God has a purpose why He gave this kind of condition to me. And I'm yet to see why. I know He will never give me something that I would not be able to handle. Maybe this is just a test of my faith in Him.

--

Dear God,

I'm leaving everything up to You. You know what's the best for me.

--

I promise to be a better listener if I get through this...

Quarterlife Crisis Chronicles #34: let's do one crazy thing... one spontaneous, impromptu and crazy thing...

I don't know when this will end...
I don't know where will start...
I don't even know if I will survive...

March 25.

Set the date.

The adventure of a lifetime will begin...

I feel bad for ToGetHer

Golden Bell Award nominees are out.

I only got to see the nominees for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Drama Series, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Supporting Actress. Honestly, I'm kinda disappointed. OK, you all know I am a big ToGetHer fan, and now a big DongLin fan... but it's very frustrating to find out that Rainie Yang wasn't nominated. She had two dramas this year, and none of them were nominated in the above categories.

I have not posted my review for ToGetHer here, but for you who have watched it, you will agree to me that her role as Chen Mo Mo is one of the most touching characters you've ever seen, right? I mean, I was moved when she sacrificed herself for Mars, so that he can be popular again. I cried when Mars sang "Mo Mo" to her, and admitted to his audience that he love her with all that he have. I cried when Jia Sen realized that his angel could not love him as he love her.

Maybe for some, ToGetHer is just an idol drama, but you see, unlike other idol dramas, it has depth. It's story is unlike the stories of other idol dramas out there. And Chen Mo Mo for me is the best character ever!

So, you wouldn't blame me if I feel bad as well when Rainie Yang didn't get to be nominated for her two dramas.

revsed edition ulit bago yung panibagong list

lets see kung ano ang nangyari at nagbago

1. bumalik ng school
2. mapromote - syempre paano mangyayari itetch ala na ako sa nco -> asa tier 2 na ako
   
3. bumili ng dvd player - meron na
   
4. movie marathon - ng? series marathon lang nga ginagawa ko eh
   
5. maglaro sa ulan
6. magkaron ng business
7. magpapayat -> seryoso na talaga to
   
8. live independently
9. pumunta ng baguio -> nakapunta na
   
10. maglakbay sa lugar na hindi pa masyadong napupuntahan ng mga tao
11. mahanap si "the one"
12. magsulat ng novel -> can you consider 99 paper cranes a novel?
    
13. sumali sa deal or no deal o sa game knb? -> muntikan na sa 1 vs 100
    
14. magkaron ng laptop -> meron na
    
15. magkaron ng kotse
16. maging pasaway
17. mag-aral magdrive
18. pumunta ng hongkong
19. mag-ipon ng P50,000
20. magpakulay ng buhok
21. magpahinga sa bahay ng 10 araw - more than 10 days na!
    
22. matutong magchinese -> may alam na akong konti lang
    
23. sumakay sa space shuttle
24. magkaron ng starbucks planner -> meron na
    
25. magbakasyon sa davao, boracay or puerto galera
26. matutong magdrums
27. magkaron ng dream satellite -> oks na ako sa destiny cable
    
28. magkaron ng credit card -> meron na
    
29. magkaron ng sariling bahay
30. makipag speed dating
31. bumili ng dream toy ko nung bata ako
32. sumama sa high school reunion
33. tumambay kasama ang mga da vinci - tumambay kasama ang FRH family
    
34. kumain ng fishball sa may wall
35. mamasyal sa wow philippines
36. magpicnic sa wall
37. libutin yung buong wall
38. sumulat kay joe d manggo
39. pinturahan ng violet ang kwarto
40. magretreat sa tagaytay
41. magoff pag holidays -> nagawa ko na
    
42. magkaron ng studio pic kasama ang tropa
43. mag-aral magbake
44. magbake ng cake at cookies
45. umattend ng kasal
46. magninang sa binyag
47. maging mommy
48. magshopping spree sa divisoria
49. magkaron ng latest na gadgets
50. maglaro ng maglaro
51. magkaroon ng normal na buhay
52. magkaroon ng 500 friends sa friendster
53. magroadtrip
54. baybayin ang magkabilang dulo ng edsa at c5
55. sumulat ng letter para sa mga taong minamahal
56. gumawa ng chain letter
57. manalo sa palanca award
58. bumili ng gown
59. magtrabaho ng walang break - ha! always ito!
    
60. magdrawing ng anime character
61. tapusin lahat ng novel na naiisip ko
62. magpasa ng script sa movie outfit
63. maging extra sa movie
64. gumawa ng short film
65. tapusin ang diablo 1
66. basahin lahat ng books ni danielle steel at dan brown
67. maghiking sa bundok
68. magstargazing
69. magpahula sa quiapo
70. makakuha ng dream job - i already did... but i really want to be a writer
    
71. magpunta sa aming tribo
72. makapagpublish ng book
73. mahanap at makipagkamay kay bob ong
74. magpunta ng disneyland
75. sumakay ng barko
76. magtagal sa isang kumpanya
77. umiyak sa kakatawa
78. magpaaral ng matalinong bata
79. maggym
80. magretire ng maaga
81. bumili ng maraming magazines at books
82. bumukod ng bahay
83. magtulog maghapon
84. sakyan lahat ng tren sa pilipinas
85. magassemble ng computer
86. gumawa ng malupit na web site or software
87. tumulong sa kamag-anak
88. tumaya sa lotto
89. libutin ang buong makati
90. pumunta sa sm south mall
91. pumunta sa the fort -> nakapunta na
    
92. gumimik
93. manood ng concert
94. manood ng shows ng mga stand-up comedians - done
    
95. bumoto ng hindi kilalang kandidato
96. magkaroon ng diploma
97. libutin ang buong maynila
98. bumili ng swimsuit - meron na?
    
99. mag-aral maghigh heels
100. matutong mag makeup
101. wala na!