sometimes, just when you think you've found the perfect person, he realizes that there are so many things wrong with you.eventually, you also realizes that there are so many things wrong with him and everything just falls apart. after sometime,you realize its over.
no amount of screaming, kicking and whining can bring you an instant replay of the things that were and could have been. give me the space and the time that i need to learn to unlove you.
ok ka lang ba? I don't think I'm okay.I'm not okay.being confused never belonged to the realm of being okay.do you realize what you do to me?my days seem so much happier.the sun seems to shine brighter.the rain brings smile a smile to my lips.the colors seem more vivid and i now love the things i used to hate.i don't think I'm okay.my life has always been on a timetable.everythin g is planned and every aspect has a structure.everythin g has a plan A and if plan A doesn't work,there's always a plan B.when all else fails,there' s always plan C.when you came,something has placed the entire order in my life upside down...my timetable changed and to the point i don't follow a schedule anymore.my plans were all put on hold.the whole structure just went crashing.i had a clear view of what i wanted,where i was going and by when do i need to get there.the moment you walked in,none of then seemed to matter anymore.all i wanted was to stay with you.and that isn't me.i can't afford to allow that to be me.not this time.not with you.you represent the exact opposite of everything I've ever longed for and yet,for some strange reason,i feel happy when I'm with you.some people have problem dealing with loneliness.i however,find myself having a problem dealing with happiness because i can't justify to my mind what i feel about you.it's just not logical.it defies reason.
you really don't want to see me anymore,no? well,yes...at least until i get over you.at least until i am sure that your presence no longer affects my better judgment.at least until I've accepted the finality of things and never feel myself longing for someone you can not give.let me concentrate on the negative things about you.let me bring you down from the pedestal i once placed you in.allow me to see your worst and then maybe I'd change my mind.let me remind myself that as much as i love you,we have different priorities.that as much as i adore you,you have a way of pissing me off,a way that only you can do.let me be reminded of what a ball and chain you are then maybe I'd learn to see you in a different light.let me gaze you at your countenance one more time and remind myself how forgettable your features are.let me walk with indifference when all i wanted to do was run to your side and embrace you.let me be nonchalant about your stories,about your thoughts.let me be self absorbed,allow me to work myself to death or drag my sorry ass,whacking my brains out with academic pursuits.let me be busy.its just that i don't want to be happy for a moment and be miserable for the next three.i don't want to love you,because i don't want to go thru the pain of letting you go.my mind refuses to let my heart win.
and you know what's the worst part of learning to unlove you? its the disappointing reality,that my messed up heart is stubbornly believing that letting you go means loving you more.its the dark,unacceptable fact that sadly,whoever gets romantically entangled with me at this precise moment of my life,that person will only feel second best to the memory of you.so allow me to get the space and time i need as i live to the day,practicing the art of unloving you.
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