Sayings

 Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
 It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
 Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
 Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
 If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
 Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
 If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
 Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
 Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
 Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
 Duct tape is like the force; it has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
 Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.