joe d mango story

Joe D'Mango's Love Story.

Of course you've heard of Joe D'Mango. He gives advice on love and
relationships on Wave 89.1 ( Philippines ) . Have you ever wondered what he
does when he has his own love problems? Does he give advice to himself?
Does he handle it very well?

Three fridays ago, our guru on relationships, Joe D'Mango, read a letter
to his wife on his popular radio program Love Notes. For the past 11
years, he had been giving advice to people who would write him letters
about their personal problems. To the surprise of his listeners that
Friday, instead of reading one of his usual letters, he read one that he
had written himself to his wife Bing. Joe felt that he had to tell his
listeners that even someone like him could go through a marital crisis, but
that he survived it. Here's how his letter goes:

In our 11 years of marriage it was just the two of us. I never had a close
circle of friends and she never had one either. Life for us was just "you
and me," day in and day out. We were literally sleeping beside each other
for 11 years. It came to a point that there was nothing more interesting to
talk about. I was aware I was doing that but I never did anything about it.
We were so close yet it seemed like we were so distant. Then came her new
circle of friends.

They recently had an elementary and high school reunion. Remember her
persistent suitor since elementary days? He was there. We already had four
daughters and the guy had four kids of his own. They exchanged phone
numbers. They started to text each other and this bothered me. A big part
of it was insecurity and other part was that she once denied that she was
texting the guy.

I felt bad because she started hiding things from me. Then the guy asked
her if they could meet for lunch. It became a source of tension between us.
I finally agreed, but before that, I told her that I felt that I was going
through the same pain again. I have seen so many stories like this. If you
told me the first part of the story, I would already know where it would
lead to.

Bing accused me of being a "know-it-all" person. But deep in my heart, I
knew where she was heading. Why would a married guy see a married girl
unless it was for business or professional reasons? Finally, even if it was
against my will, I drove her to the meeting place.

While I was waiting at the radio station, I wanted to call her but knew it
wasn't proper. So I just waited for her to tell me how their meeting went.

When she related to me what happened I felt that she was keeping the other
details. I was afraid to ask because I wasn't prepared to accept her
answers. I told her that it would be best if that was their last meeting.
She got mad and told me that I was starting to control her life.

The following day, I saw a small, torn piece of paper that had the words,
"lose you" in the trash can at home. I started picking up the pieces of
paper and putting them together. She had written: "Felt sad because I felt
that this will be our last meeting." "Wanted to hug you..." Before I could
figure out what the third one was, Bing was already at my back. She wanted
to get the torn pieces of paper back. She said it was private property. We
decided to talk.

By then, I was able to figure out the third line: "Not sure if afraid to
lose you." She had crossed it out and beside it, she had written, "Wanted
to cry."

That was what hit me. How could you lose something that's not even with you
yet? That was a confirmation that she was getting emotionally attached to
the guy. We fought because she didn't want to admit it. She said that what
she had written was all about friendship and not about love. For the first
time in our marriage she asked for freedom from me. For 11 years we were
always together, and now this.

She had discovered her own little world and wanted to explore it. I didn't
want to give it to her but finally I gave in. I told her that she could do
anything she wanted and not worry about how I would feel. In fact, I told
her that I was planning to leave her and kids for a while so we could give
each other the chance to be alone. We decided to give the new arrangement a
try.

The following day, Thursday, I went to work early and she texted me. I
never answered back. When I didn't respond, she called me. She said, "I'm
sorry. I love you and I miss you." For the first time in our mariage I
said, "I love you and I miss you too" with tears in my eyes.

I realized how much I loved her but I also knew how much she wanted her
freedom. When I arrived at the station I asked for a leave. My boss advised
me to think it over, but he said that he would allow me to go on leave.
After letting it all out I felt relieved. It was the first time in my life
that I asked for advice about our relationship.

While I was talking with my boss, a messenger arrived with 12 white roses
arranged in a basket. It came from Bing. Then a text message on my
cellphone came, "I know that no material things can ease the pain that
you're feeling right now, but these flowers signify my pure and sincere
intentions. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

Still, a question continued to bug me: "I'm giving you the freedom. Will
you choose to stay or go on?" I read the card, and it had the answer to my
question: "Dear Dad, I finally realized that I made a very big mistake in
choosing a new-found friendship at the expense of our long-time friendship.
Please forgive me. I wil always love you."

Bing called the guy and told him that she wanted to end the friendship.
He said that they could just text or call each other. Bing said that there
was no need.

We had dinner and talked up to 1 am. It was like getting married all over
again. We lost each other and found our way back. I do not want to go
through the same pain again.

Friday came and it was the first time in the history of Love Notes that I
couldn't do Love Notes. I scheduled a replay. When I was at the station at
9 am, I composed a letter to Bing. I was asking myself, should I read this
or do a replay? I chose to read the letter. It is not unusual to hear
people say "I love you because...," but this story has shown us that the
deeper and greater love is having to say "I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF..."