questions

1. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
2. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
5. How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
6. How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
7. How young can you die of old age?
8. Can you be arrested for selling illegal-sized paper?
9. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
10. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
11. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
12. If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
13. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
15. If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
16. If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
17. If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
18. What if there were no hypothetical situations?
19. Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
20. Will your answer to this question be no?
21. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?
22. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets are dressing up as mattresses?
23. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
24. Is there another word for synonym?
25. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
26. Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
27. If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?
28. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
29. If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?
30. Do good S&M fans go to Hell?
31. If swimming's such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?
32. If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
33. How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
34. Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?
35. Do we make bombs better or worse?
36. Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
37. If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
38. Can you learn to read from a "Reading for Dummies" book?
39. If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go? Do you get change?
40. If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?
41. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
42. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
43. Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
44. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
45. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
46. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
47. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
48. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
49. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
50. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
51. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
52. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
53. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
54. If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
55. Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
56. If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
57. Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?
58. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
59. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
60. Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed," when afterward, it doesn't work anymore?
61. If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
62. If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?
63. Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?
64. Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
65. If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
66. Why was the Holy Roman Empire neither holy nor Roman?
67. If a tree falls on a mime in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, does the mime make a sound?
68. What is the speed of darkness?
69. If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?
70. Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?
71. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
72. Do three headed fire dragons have heated arguments with themselves?
73. Why exactly is there a snow-globe with summer scenes?
74. What do picket sign writers put on their signs when they go on strike?
75. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
76. Why is minimalism such a big word?
77. If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
78. What'd happen if the man took the advimil and the woman took the viagra?
79. Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?
80. Do fish get thirsty?
81. If you learn from mistakes, why aren't I a genius?
82. Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?
83. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
84. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
85. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
86. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
87. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
88. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
89. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
90. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
91. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
92. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
93. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
94. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
95. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
96. Why do banks leave both doors open, yet they chain pens to the countertops?
97. Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?
98. Why is there Braille on drive-through ATM machines?
99. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
100. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
101. If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?
102. Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
103. How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
104. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?