Find your birthday and then find your tree...
This is cool and somewhat accurate,
also in line with Celtic astrology.
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree
Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree
APPLE TREE (the Love) -
of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction,
pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive,
always in love, wants to love and be loved,
faithful and tender partner, very generous,
scientific talents, lives for
today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.
ASH TREE (the Ambition) -
uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism,
ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate,
can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy,
faithful and prudent lover, sometimes
brains rule over the heart,
but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE (the Creative) -
has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic,
good organization of life and career, economical,
good leader, takes no unnecessary risks,
reasonable, splendid lifetime companion,
keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) -
vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious,
modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the
vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm,
not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition,
creates a calm and content atmosphere.
CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) -
of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health,
not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,
self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others,
many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting
for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) -
of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed
sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat,
but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a
lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior,
feels not understood loves only once,
has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) -
strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give,
content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment,
hates loneliness, passionate lover which
cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered,
unruly, pedantic, and careless.
ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) -
pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands,
tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead
but not to obey, honest and faithful
partner, likes making decisions for others,
noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
FIG TREE (the Sensibility) -
very strong, a bit self-willed, independent does not
allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family,
children and animals, a bit of a social
butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and
laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE (the Mysterious) -
extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves
anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism
but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very
ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontented lover, many
friends, many foes, very reliable
HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) -
charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows
how to make an impression, active fighter for social
cause, popular, moody, and capricious
lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) -
of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste,
is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible,
leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for
kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,
dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE (the Doubt) -
accepts what life dishes out in a composed way,
hates fighting, stress, and labor,
dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting,
makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not
tenacious enough to make them blossom,
often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.
MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) -
no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality,
shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident,
hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous,
has many complexities, good memory, learns easily,
complicated love life, wants to impress.
OAK TREE (the Brave) -
robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the
ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) -
loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced,
avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful,
calm, well-developed sense of justice,
sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read
and the company of sophisticated people.
PINE TREE (the Particular) -
loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make
life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but
seldom friendly, falls easily in love but
its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything
disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) -
looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous
if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings,
very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature,
good organizer, tends to lean toward
philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) -
full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications,
is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does
not forgive.
WALNUT TREE (the Passion) -
unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate,
no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) -
beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic,
loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer,
restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy
to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but
finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
Showing posts with label forwarded e-mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forwarded e-mail. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Di ko na sya mahal...
> "HINDI KO NA SYA MAHAL (HINDI KO SYA MAHAL)"
>
> Naranasan mo na bang magsabi nyan???
> Kung OO ang sagot mo, pwes! alam mo ba na out of
> 10 people na nagsabi nyan 5 ang nagsasabi ng
> totoo?? yes! meaning 5 ang sinungaling!
> Kc, minsan maraming dahilan kung bakit nasasabi
> yan...
>
> iSiPin MO ito..
>
> Nasasabi ang linyang yan sa mga sitwasyon gaya
> ng..
>
> NAGUGULUHAN = ito ung mga taong nasa isang relasyon pgktapos eh may
iba pang
> mahal na iba... kailangan nilang mapaniwala ang sarili na hindi na
hindi na
> nila mahal ung isa para mahalin naman ung isa pa o mahalin ulit sya
ng isa.
> (HALIMBAWA: im sori may iba na kong mahal, HINDI NA KITA MAHAL or
mahal ko
> pala talaga sya, TIGILAN NA NATIN TO.) pero echos! ang totoo di ka naman
> syur kung sino pa talaga sa kanila ang matimbang... gets mo? (kung hindi
> kawawa ka naman..=)
>
> MASAMA ANG LOOB = eto naman ung mga taong katatapos lng hiwalayan o
nagawan
> ng di maganda sa isang relasyon. (HALIMBAWA: bakit nya nagawa sakin toh!
> HINDI KO NA SYA MAHAL!) pero ay naku
> dala lng yan ng sama ng loob mo..sige hinga ng malalim..tulog ng
mahimbing..
> paggising mo bukas naku...sya na naman ang naalala mo..(miz mo noh? =)
>
> BASTED = as in ayaw nya daw sayo.. PARE OKEI KA LNG? (SAGOT: okei
lng ako
> pre, wala na un hindi ko na rin sya mahal) uyyy pa-macho epek..
SISTER OKEI
> KA LNG? (SAGOT: yuh im okei, as in hindi ko
> na sya mahal noh?!) ows? go gurl!
>
> LIHIM NA PAG-IBIG = eto naman ung mga taong ayaw ipaalam sa kanilang
> minamahal ang totoo, para lang mapagtakpan ang nararamdaman nila,
lalo na't
> binubuking na sila.. (HALIMBAWA: Hindi ko
> sya mahal ah, friend lng ang turing ko sa kanya.) ay naku! yan din
sinabi ni
> jolina kay marvin!
>
> PA-I WILL SURVIVE epek = eto ang mga taong gusto
> ng kumawala sa hawla ng alala ng taong minamahal..( HALIMBAWA: pagod na
> ko..from now on, kakalimutan ko na sya, hindi ko na sya mahal! di
sya para
> saken...bahala sya sa buhay nya...smart na ko ngayon, i will survive!)
> ...hehe sino ka? si kris aquino??
>
> TAAS NG PRIDE = eto ung mga taong di nila maamin sa sarili nila na mahal
> nila ang isang person kc nga malayo sa standard nila ung gurl/guy or
lets
> say may ibang dahilan..pero nainlab sila.
> (HALIMBAWA: yun? hindi ko sya mahal noh. ako pa
> kilala nyo ko) sabay Naka cross ang mga fingers
> ng kanilang hands and feet!
>
> TAKOT = eto ung mga taong dahil ilang beses na nasaktan sa larangan
ng pag
> ibig, eh ayaw ng magmahal kahit na mahal naman talga nila ang
> isang taong nagmamahal sa kanila..(HALIMBAWA: ayaw ko ng masaktan
> ulit...hindi kita mahal.) ..o tapos? hehe <-- ehem ehem... may
natamaan ba?
>
> PAGHIHIGANTI = eto naman ung mga taong binabalikan matapos ng
> hiwalayan... syempre sobra nga naman sila nasaktan kaya sasabihan nya
> ng "MASYADO AKONG NASAKTAN SA MGA NANGYARI, HINDI
> NA KITA MAHAL" ...o loko bagay sayo to eto lubid..simulan muna itali
hehe!
>
> maraming dahilan, maraming paraan para sabihin
> natin ito ..
> pero sana, sa susunod na sabihin mo sa kanyang
> hindi mo na sya mahal .. eh ung totoo na.
> Yung kaya mo na, yung sigurado ka, at un talga
> ang nararamdaman mo..
> mahirap na..
>
> Paano kung mawala pa sya?....
> Paano kung mahal ka pa talaga nya?..
> Paano na kung mahal ka nya....
> Paano Kung mahal ka rin nya
> at mahal mo pa rin sya.
>
> At sa ibang taong makakaranas naman neto..
> pag sinabihan ka ng HINDI NA KITA MAHAL!
> HINDI KITA MAHAL!
> chin up! and say...
>
> STYLE MO BULOK! LIARS GO TO HELL LECHE!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Love and Acceptance
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:15 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80’s, came in to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry for an appointment at 9:00am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.
I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him. “And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?” He smiled as he patted my hand and said, “She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arms, and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
It's too late
How does it feel when after 10 long years of being friends, you’ll just realize that you’re falling in love with your best friend? Painful, isn’t it? But it’s much painful when you’ll realize that the feeling is mutual but it’s too late for both of you… that’s what happened to Jenny and Albert…
Jenny never expected that what she felt toward her best buddy Albert could ever be more than just brotherly love. They were together everyday, they have lunch together after their algebra class, have snacks together. They share secrets, but there was one thing that Albert didn’t know about Jenny… that Jen was falling in love with him. Jen kept it because she was afraid to take the risk of ruining their friendship. When she’s alone, she would just write a letter for Albert telling him how much she loves him then she would keep it inside her drawer.
Albert always asks for Jenny’s advice or what Jenny thinks about the girl he’s courting. Then Jenny would just reply with an aching heart.. “She’s pretty, you look good together.” She uttered those words with a smile, but a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes… she felt that her heart was cut by a sharp knife. Then Albert would then smile back at her and hold her arms.
One day, Albert came rushing to Jen’s house with a big smile. He told Jenny that he already has a girlfriend. Jen felt that all her dreams were shattered, her heart was broken into pieces… she wanted to cry out loud… to tell Albert that she’s loved him even when they were still young… but it’s no use… Albert loves somebody else… she came back to reality… she gave Albert a sweet smile and hugged him… wished him luck. Albert hugged her too, then invited her to celebrate with his new girl… but Jenny refused… she cannot afford to see her beloved Albert with another woman… it would hurt her terribly.. so she made an excuse, she said that she needed to go to the doctor for her monthly check up.
Then she left. She drove her car without knowing where to go… she was crying… the pain was so unbearable… she wanted to scream… Albert called her “princess” before… but that was before… everything would be different now… Albert has a new princess in his life… her eyes were full of tears and her mind was reeling with memories of the past ten years she shared with Albert… she didn’t notice the car coming towards her… then there was a big clash… then darkness….
When Jenny opened her eyes, she’s already standing in a corner inside a white room. She noticed Albert sitting beside a bed holding a piece of paper… Albert was crying… when she came close, she saw herself lying on the bed… breathless…. reality came to her… she’s dead… Albert couldn’t see her… when she looked at the paper, it was her letter for Albert… the one that she kept on her drawer! Then she heard Albert saying…
Jen… why didn’t you tell me what you really felt…? Why didn’t you tell me that you love me… I was just waiting for any sign from you… but you did not give any… i love you too Jen… since the time that i learned what love means, i already loved you… why did you leave me my princess….?”
Jenny wanted to comfort Albert… she came closer and hugged him but she couldn’t even touch him… her tears rolled down from her eyes… she wanted to ask God for another chance… another chance to live again… to be with his prince…… but it’s too late…
Only Time
Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others…… including Love. One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment.
When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, “Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?” Richness answered, “I’m sorry, but here is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you.” Then love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, “Vanity, help me please.” I can’t help you”, Vanity said, “You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat.”
Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, “Sadness, please let me go with you.” Sadness answered, “Love, I’m sorry, but, I just need to be alone now.” Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, “Happiness, please take me with you.” But happiness was so overjoyed that he didn’t hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.
Then, she heard a voice say, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.
Love then found knowledge and asked, “Who was it that helped me?” “It was Time”, Knowledge answered. “But why did Time help me when no one else would?”, Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, “Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”
Forever kind of love
One of our favorite patients had been in and out of our small, rural hospital several times, and all of us on med-surg had grown quite attached to her and her husband.
In spite of terminal cancer and resulting pain, she never failed to give us a smile or a hug. Whenever her husband came to visit, she glowed. He was a nice man, very polite and as friendly as his wife. I had grown quite attached to them and was always glad to care for her.
I admired their expression of love. Daily, he brought her fresh flowers and a smile, then sat by her bed as they held hands and talked quietly. When the pain was too much and she cried or became confused, he hugged her gently in his arms and whispered until she rested. He spent every available moment at her bedside, giving her small sips of water and stroking her brow. Every night, before he left for home, he closed the door so they could spend time alone together. When he was gone, we’d find her sleeping peacefully with a smile on her lips.
On this night, however, things were different. As soon as I entered report, the day nurses informed us she had steadily taken a turn for the worse and
wouldn’t make it through the night. Although I was sad, I knew that this was for the best. At least my friend wouldn’t be in pain any longer. I left report and checked on her first. When I entered the room, she aroused and smiled weakly, but her breathing was labored and I could tell it wouldn’t be long..
Her husband sat beside her, smiling, too, and said, “My Love is finally going to get her reward.”
Tears came to my eyes, so I asked if they needed anything and left quickly. I offered care and comfort throughout the evening, and at about midnight she passed away with her husband still holding her hand. I consoled him and with tears running down his cheeks he said, “May I please be alone with her for awhile?” I hugged him and closed the door behind me.
I stood outside the room, blotting my tears and missing my friend and her smile. And I could feel the pain of her husband in my own heart. Suddenly from the room came the most beautiful male voice I have ever heard singing. It was almost haunting the way it floated through the halls. All of the other nurses stepped out into the hallways to listen as he sang “Beautiful Brown Eyes” at the top of his lungs.
When the tune faded, the door opened and he called to me. He looked me in the eyes then hugged me saying, “I sang that song to her every night from the first day we met. Normally I close the door and keep my voice down so as not to disturb the other patients. But I had to make sure she heard me tonight as she was on her way to heaven. She had to know that she will always be my forever love. Please apologize to anyone I bothered. I just don’t know how I will make it without her, but I will continue to sing to her every night. Do you think she will hear me?”
I nodded my head “yes,” unable to stop my tears. He hugged me again, kissed my cheek, and thanked me for being their nurse and friend. He thanked the other nurses, then turned and walked down the hall, his back hunched, whistling the song softly as he went.
As I watched him leave I prayed that I, too, would someday know that kind of forever love.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
The Dolls of Love
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…
“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment
grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”
He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.
He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…
Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry”
He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…
But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!”
HONK~!!
“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me.
That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…
“One…two… three…”
That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty
five…”
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…
“I love you~, I love you~”
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
“I….lo..ve…you??”
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~”
It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach,
that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Best Version of You
***got this from an e-mail... one of my faves since I'm a sucker for tragic love stories... (just like my story.... hehehe)
The Best Version of You
Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It's been two years since she had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not much has changed. Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street.
"Promise me something will you? Please don't get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack.
"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won't run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."
"Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as soon I get to New York." That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn't get the time to chat with him and buy a
webcam.
She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off.
"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.
"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug.
"Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we'll have more time for hugging and chika."
"Okay."
Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.
"You should really get that."
"No, you should get that. She's been waiting for you. She insist that we go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She also insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.
"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a
hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I'm with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see you tomorrow."
We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"
"I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?"
"Edward?"
"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York? Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."
"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel has met Edward when he came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.
"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata…"
"Balak na?"
"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi."
"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."
At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito
si Miguel?"
"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house. She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can't remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.
"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo 'wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon."
"Po?"
"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.
"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.
"Bukas na lang."
"Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.
"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"
"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."
"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really good to be back in this house. I'll see you tomorrow."
Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.
"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"
"Sinundo si Sugar."
"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."
"Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though. Whatever happens you'll always be my daughter, Bea?"
She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."
"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"
Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.
"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancée`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn't swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.
"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back
as if she was consoling her.
"Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm getting married on Saturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've kept my promise."
She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him. She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to
it's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it.
"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.
"I'm sure he has."
Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea's and Miguel's college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs. Except that this is
not one of those days… Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel's fiancée`.
Bea's phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.
"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.
"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's. Oh I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiancée`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I'll call you later. I have very good news for you."
Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel's gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not.
Bea and I were never like that."
"As in?" Sugar inquired.
"LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can't keep up with her. She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.
"I guess that's the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment.
"Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.
"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."
Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."
*********
The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride.
"I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find
us."
Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.
**********
Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.
"Hay, here we go again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"
"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days dib a?"
"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she's not as ambitious as you are. When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don't have a place in the life you've chosen. I don't blame you for that. You're good in your field and I thought to myself that it's your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar. She's so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."
She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.
"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.
"Wait, I'm not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"
Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."
Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in New York."
The Best Version of You
Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It's been two years since she had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not much has changed. Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to New York to pursue a career in Wall Street.
"Promise me something will you? Please don't get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack.
"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won't run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."
"Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as soon I get to New York." That was her last memory in this place. The warm Manila air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel. How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn't get the time to chat with him and buy a
webcam.
She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off.
"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.
"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug.
"Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we'll have more time for hugging and chika."
"Okay."
Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.
"You should really get that."
"No, you should get that. She's been waiting for you. She insist that we go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She also insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.
"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a
hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I'm with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see you tomorrow."
We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"
"I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?"
"Edward?"
"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa New York? Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."
"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel has met Edward when he came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.
"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata…"
"Balak na?"
"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi."
"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."
At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito
si Miguel?"
"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house. She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can't remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.
"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo 'wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon."
"Po?"
"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything tomorrow." Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.
"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.
"Bukas na lang."
"Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.
"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"
"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."
"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really good to be back in this house. I'll see you tomorrow."
Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.
"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"
"Sinundo si Sugar."
"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."
"Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though. Whatever happens you'll always be my daughter, Bea?"
She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."
"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"
Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.
"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancée`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn't swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.
"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back
as if she was consoling her.
"Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm getting married on Saturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've kept my promise."
She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him. She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to
it's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it.
"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.
"I'm sure he has."
Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino dishes. She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea's and Miguel's college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops. She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together. Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs. Except that this is
not one of those days… Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel's fiancée`.
Bea's phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.
"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.
"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's. Oh I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiancée`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I'll call you later. I have very good news for you."
Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel's gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not.
Bea and I were never like that."
"As in?" Sugar inquired.
"LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can't keep up with her. She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.
"I guess that's the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment.
"Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.
"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."
Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."
*********
The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride.
"I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find
us."
Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.
**********
Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.
"Hay, here we go again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"
"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days dib a?"
"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she's not as ambitious as you are. When you left for New York two years ago, I knew I don't have a place in the life you've chosen. I don't blame you for that. You're good in your field and I thought to myself that it's your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar. She's so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."
She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.
"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.
"Wait, I'm not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"
Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."
Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in New York."
Meantime Girl
What's a meantime girl?
>
>
> She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh.
She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to
lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date
to
> your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with
> on a Saturday night.
She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light.
She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable ? she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.
You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell....her how the date went. She's just so cool...
.. . why can't all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs ? she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too.
A lot.
And someday we won't be around.
>
>
> She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh.
She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to
lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date
to
> your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with
> on a Saturday night.
She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light.
She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable ? she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.
You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell....her how the date went. She's just so cool...
.. . why can't all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs ? she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too.
A lot.
And someday we won't be around.
Ako ay isang bulaklak ng santan
Nasa university avenue na pala. Nakita ko ulit yung mga sunflower na nakatanim sa gitna. Yung iba, maganda pa rin. Pero, karamihan sa mga bulaklak ay nalalanta na. Tag-ulan na kasi. Naalala ko tuloy yung usapan namin noon...
"Wow... ang gaganda naman ng mga roses na ito. Sino naman ang pagbibigyan mo nito ha?" ngiting-tanong ko sa kanya. "Para kay Maggie yan... Maganda ba? Sa tingin mo, magugustuhan kaya niya?" "Oo naman. Kahit naman sinong babae, kapag bibigyan mo ng 1 dozen red roses, siguradong, matutuwa. Hindi ba nga sabi nila, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and the way to a woman's heart, is through flowers. Suwerte naman ni Maggie. Tanong ko lang, bakit nga ba roses ang pinili mo at hindi gerbera, o kaya, tulips, para mas lalong ma-impress?" "Kasi, para sa akin, tulad siya ng isang rose..." "Wow... ginagawa mo namang bulaklak ang mga babae niyan. Huwag mong sabihin na lahat ng mga past girlfriends mo eh naka-associate sa flowers?" Nakataas ang kilay kong tanong sa kanya. "What if sabihin ko sa iyo na lahat sila ay naka-associate sa flowers," pabirong sagot niya. "This is quite an interesting topic. Sige nga, anong klaseng mga flowers sina Alexie, Guia, Lenny?" "Si Guia ay daisy kasi friendly siya, si Alexie ay tulips kasi napakaganda niya.... oh bakit ganyan ang tingin mo sa akin?" "Wala naman, naisip ko lang na kapag lahat ng babae ay naka-associate sa flowers... I'm just wondering kung meron ding bulaklak na naka-associate sa akin?" "Meron nga..." "Ano naman yun? Dapat lang maganda ha. Dahil kung hindi, hindi kita kakausapin for the rest of our college days. Hmmm... maganda ang sunflower. Favorite flowers ko iyan, sunflower ba?" "Maganda ang sunflower. Yellow and bright colors... gaya mo na palaging masaya. Pero hindi ka sunflower. Para sa akin, isa kang halaman ng santan," sabi niya habang nakatitig sa akin. "Bulaklak ng santan? Ano ba namang klaseng association iyan? Ok I get it, santan... ordinaryo, simple, palagi mong makikita kahit saan..." Nakangiti ako sa kanya pero sa loob ko, sa puso ko, nasasaktan ako... Mahal ko siya. Minamahal ko siya kahit hindi niya ako mahal. Siguro naghihintay lang akong mahalin niya rin ako sa pagdating ng panahon pero patuloy pa ba akong aasa sa binitawan niyang salita? Ano ba naman ang laban ng isang santan sa rose, sa daisy, o sa tulips? Tinitigan ko siya. Buti na lang, nakatutok ang atensiyon niya sa pagdra-drive at sa daan, kung hindi nakita na niya sana ang lungkot na lumatay sa mukha ko. Tama, wala na akong pag-asa. Kailangan ko na talagang gumising sa pananaginip. Hindi niya ako magugustuhan. At lalong-lalo ng hindi niya ako mamahalin. Minsan ko pa siyang tinitigan. Nakangiti siya. Masaya siya dahil merong rose sa buhay niya. Hindi ko iyon makakaya. Ako na lang ang lalayo para sa kanila. Sa wakas, nakarating din ako sa UP Chapel. Pagkatapos kong maiparada ang aking sasakyan, bumaba ako at tinungo ang entrance. Nakita ko kaagad ang isang matandang babae, at ng makilala niya ako, agad niya akong sinalubong at niyakap. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, inakay niya ako sa loob at nabungaran ko ang pagkadami-daming bulaklak. Sa gitna noon, nandoon ang isang puting kabaong. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit at tinunghayan ang taong nasa loob noon. Iyon pa rin ang mukhang palagi kong nakikita walong taon na ang nakakaraan. Katulad pa rin siya ng dati. Nasa ganoon akong posisyon ng lumapit ulit ang matandang babae, may ibinigay siya sa akin. Isang puting sobre. Agad kong binuksan at binasa ang nakasulat... Sorry kung nasaktan kita. Pero hindi ko binabawi na sinabi kong isa kang santan. Para sa akin, ang santan ang pinakamaganda sa lahat ng bulaklak. Tama ka, ito ay karaniwan, simple, palagi mong nakikita sa daan. Pero ang taong katulad ng santan ay bihira lamang. Dahil kung ikaw ay santan, kahit hindi ka alagaan at kahit anong bagyo ang dumating sa buhay mo, mabubuhay ka pa rin. Mamumulaklak ka pa rin. Ganoong tao ka para sa akin. Katulad sa university avenue ng UP, summer lang itinatanim ang sunflower dahil hindi nila kakayanin ang ulan at bagyo. Pero ang santan, nakatanim dun kahit anong panahon. Pang-summer lang ang sunflower. Ang santan, panghabambuhay. Parang ikaw.Palaging nagmamahal sa iyo habambuhay, Christian.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
kuko, sapatos, anklet
Sabi nila, ang mundo daw ay isang napakalaking classroom kung saan ka hinahainan ng sari-saring leksyon tungkol sa buhay. Kung si Robert Fulghum, maraming natutunan nung Kindergarten sya, ako naman, may mga natutunan sa kakikayan. At ang aking mga teachers: kuko, sapatos, at anklet!
The chipping nail polish
Nagta-type ako sa keyboard nang mapansin ko na nagsisimula nang mag-peel yung nail polish sa kuko ko. Kaagad akong naglagay ng top coat. Nabasa ko kasi sa Cosmo na iyong top coat, nagpapatagal ng kulay ng nail polish. At nagpe-prevent na mag-chip iyong kuko.
Pero noong sumunod na araw, lalong lumala iyong pag-peel ng nail polish. Medyo nalungkot ako. Kasi, wala nang makakapigil pa sa pagkakasira ng kulay ng kuko ko.
Pero kung iisipin natin, ang nail polish, parang life lang yan. No matter how hard we try to make it last or stay longer, we couldn't stop the inevitable. Lahat ng bagay, nag-de- the end. Hindi mo na kayang pigilan ang nakatadhana. May mga relasyon na hindi nagtatagal. May mga pagmamahal na namamatay. Kahit na tambakan mo man ng top coat ang kuko mo, kahit anong ingat mo man, matatanggal at matatanggal pa rin ang nail polish. Kaya burahin mo na lang at ihanda ang mga kuko sa bagong nail polish na i-a-apply mo. Kailangan mo mag-move on. At magsimulang muli. Pero dapat, bago ka mag-apply ng bagong nail polish, siguraduhin mo na wala ng trace ng lumang nail polish. Bago ka pumasok sa panibagong relasyon, dapat, completely over ka na doon sa dati. Parasimula ka sa clean slate, di ba?
Lesson learned: Huwag malungkot kung may isang bagay na natapos. Puwede ka pang magsimulang muli. At puwede kang sumubok ng mas magandang nail polish.
The perfect shoes
Kailangan ko bumili ng old rose na sapatos na babagay sa aking damit. A-attend kasi ako ng kasal ng kaibigan ko. Alam nating lahat kung gaano kahirap maghanap ng perfect na sapatos. Lalo na kung old rose ang kulay nito. Dalawang oras yata ako naglibot sa Glorietta para lang makahanap ng sapatos.
Hanggang nakakita ako sa Landmark. Hindi siya old rose kundi pink pero pagod na ako maghanap. At desperado na ako dahil malapit na silang mag-sarado. Kaya nagpasya ako na pagtiyagaan na lang kung ano iyong nandoon. Kahit hindi naman talaga iyon ang gusto kong bilhin. Puwede na iyan, naisip ko.
Noong hiningi ko ang size ko doon sa tindera, sinabi sa akin na hindi na sila nagtatanggap dahil sarado na sila. Noong pauwi na ako, I realized that that experience was trying to tell me something. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I shouldn't settle for anything less. Paano kung binili ko nga iyong pink na sapatos tapos may nakita akong old rose na sandals? Baka sinasabi sa akin ng tadhana na kailangan maging patient ako, at mag-hanap pa sa ibang mall para makita ang tamang sapatos.
Kinabukasan, nakahanap ako ng old rose na sandals sa Megamall. As in bagay doon sa damit ko. At nabili ko pa ng sale! Kung pinagtiyagaan ko iyong nasa Landmark, siguro hindi na ako naghanap sa ibang mall. At siguro, nagtitiis ako sa pink na sandals ganoong mayroon naman palang old rose.
Lesson learned: Don't settle. Minsan, dahil sa pagod na tayong maghintay, o dahil sa desperado na tayo, pinagtitiyagaan na lang natin kung anong nandiyan. Parang wala na tayong ibang choice. Pero kung tutuusin, kung maghihintay lang tayo, at maging patient, darating din iyong para sa atin. At hindi lang sapatos ang tinutukoy ko. It could be the right guy or the right job or whatever.
The misplaced anklet
Noong binigyan ako ng kaibigan ko ng blue na anklet, sobrang na-excite ako kaya sinuot ko siya agad. Pero dahil lagi akong nakamaong, at hindi nakikita ang anklet ko, nag-decide ako na gamitin sya as bracelet. Maluwang sya, oo, pero keri na rin. Alam ko hindi iyon ang dapat nyang lugar, kaya nga siya anklet eh para sa ankle, di ba? Siguro, feeling ng anklet ko, misplaced sya... na hindi iyon ang dapat nyang kalagyan. Pero noong ginamit ko siya bilang bracelet, napansin siya ng mga tao. Ang dami nga nag-bigay ng compliment at sinabing ang ganda daw ng bracelet ko.
"Kaya lang, parang maluwang," sabi noong isa. Inamin ko na na anklet talaga iyon kaya maluwang. Misplaced anklet nga siya. Pero at least nare-recognize naman siya. Kesa naman gamitin ko as anklet, walang makakapansin sa kanya.
Kinabukasan, ginamit ko siya uli. Noong tanghali, napansin ko na lang na wala na sa braso ko yung anklet. "Nilayasan ka na ng anklet mo kasi hindi niya nakayanan na ginagawa mo siyang bracelet," sabi ng kaibigan ko.
Tinawanan ko lang siya. Pero napa-isip ako. Bakit ko ba kasi pinilit na gawing bracelet ang anklet? Parang pinipilit ko ang isang tao na umasta ng hindi naman natural sa kanya. Akala ko kasi, mas okay yun kasi nare-recognize siya, kahit na hindi naman talaga iyon ang purpose niya sa buhay.
Lesson learned: Ang anklet ay para sa ankle, hindi sa wrist. Hindi mo puwedeng idikta sa ibang tao kung ano ang dapat nilang gawin, at kung saan sila pupuwesto. Kahit na sabihin mo na para sa ikabubuti nila ang ginagawa mo, kung hindi naman sila masaya, bale wala rin. Baka mawala lang sila sa iyo.
Sabi nila, ang mundo daw ay isang napakalaking classroom kung saan ka hinahainan ng sari-saring leksyon tungkol sa buhay. Ano kaya ang puwedeng matututunan sa walang kulay na lipstick? O sa anti-dandruff na shampoo? O sa plastic eyelash curler? O sa pekeng Prada wallet na binebenta sa bangketa? Ah, ewan? makapag-lagay na nga lang ng bagong nail polish.
The chipping nail polish
Nagta-type ako sa keyboard nang mapansin ko na nagsisimula nang mag-peel yung nail polish sa kuko ko. Kaagad akong naglagay ng top coat. Nabasa ko kasi sa Cosmo na iyong top coat, nagpapatagal ng kulay ng nail polish. At nagpe-prevent na mag-chip iyong kuko.
Pero noong sumunod na araw, lalong lumala iyong pag-peel ng nail polish. Medyo nalungkot ako. Kasi, wala nang makakapigil pa sa pagkakasira ng kulay ng kuko ko.
Pero kung iisipin natin, ang nail polish, parang life lang yan. No matter how hard we try to make it last or stay longer, we couldn't stop the inevitable. Lahat ng bagay, nag-de- the end. Hindi mo na kayang pigilan ang nakatadhana. May mga relasyon na hindi nagtatagal. May mga pagmamahal na namamatay. Kahit na tambakan mo man ng top coat ang kuko mo, kahit anong ingat mo man, matatanggal at matatanggal pa rin ang nail polish. Kaya burahin mo na lang at ihanda ang mga kuko sa bagong nail polish na i-a-apply mo. Kailangan mo mag-move on. At magsimulang muli. Pero dapat, bago ka mag-apply ng bagong nail polish, siguraduhin mo na wala ng trace ng lumang nail polish. Bago ka pumasok sa panibagong relasyon, dapat, completely over ka na doon sa dati. Parasimula ka sa clean slate, di ba?
Lesson learned: Huwag malungkot kung may isang bagay na natapos. Puwede ka pang magsimulang muli. At puwede kang sumubok ng mas magandang nail polish.
The perfect shoes
Kailangan ko bumili ng old rose na sapatos na babagay sa aking damit. A-attend kasi ako ng kasal ng kaibigan ko. Alam nating lahat kung gaano kahirap maghanap ng perfect na sapatos. Lalo na kung old rose ang kulay nito. Dalawang oras yata ako naglibot sa Glorietta para lang makahanap ng sapatos.
Hanggang nakakita ako sa Landmark. Hindi siya old rose kundi pink pero pagod na ako maghanap. At desperado na ako dahil malapit na silang mag-sarado. Kaya nagpasya ako na pagtiyagaan na lang kung ano iyong nandoon. Kahit hindi naman talaga iyon ang gusto kong bilhin. Puwede na iyan, naisip ko.
Noong hiningi ko ang size ko doon sa tindera, sinabi sa akin na hindi na sila nagtatanggap dahil sarado na sila. Noong pauwi na ako, I realized that that experience was trying to tell me something. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I shouldn't settle for anything less. Paano kung binili ko nga iyong pink na sapatos tapos may nakita akong old rose na sandals? Baka sinasabi sa akin ng tadhana na kailangan maging patient ako, at mag-hanap pa sa ibang mall para makita ang tamang sapatos.
Kinabukasan, nakahanap ako ng old rose na sandals sa Megamall. As in bagay doon sa damit ko. At nabili ko pa ng sale! Kung pinagtiyagaan ko iyong nasa Landmark, siguro hindi na ako naghanap sa ibang mall. At siguro, nagtitiis ako sa pink na sandals ganoong mayroon naman palang old rose.
Lesson learned: Don't settle. Minsan, dahil sa pagod na tayong maghintay, o dahil sa desperado na tayo, pinagtitiyagaan na lang natin kung anong nandiyan. Parang wala na tayong ibang choice. Pero kung tutuusin, kung maghihintay lang tayo, at maging patient, darating din iyong para sa atin. At hindi lang sapatos ang tinutukoy ko. It could be the right guy or the right job or whatever.
The misplaced anklet
Noong binigyan ako ng kaibigan ko ng blue na anklet, sobrang na-excite ako kaya sinuot ko siya agad. Pero dahil lagi akong nakamaong, at hindi nakikita ang anklet ko, nag-decide ako na gamitin sya as bracelet. Maluwang sya, oo, pero keri na rin. Alam ko hindi iyon ang dapat nyang lugar, kaya nga siya anklet eh para sa ankle, di ba? Siguro, feeling ng anklet ko, misplaced sya... na hindi iyon ang dapat nyang kalagyan. Pero noong ginamit ko siya bilang bracelet, napansin siya ng mga tao. Ang dami nga nag-bigay ng compliment at sinabing ang ganda daw ng bracelet ko.
"Kaya lang, parang maluwang," sabi noong isa. Inamin ko na na anklet talaga iyon kaya maluwang. Misplaced anklet nga siya. Pero at least nare-recognize naman siya. Kesa naman gamitin ko as anklet, walang makakapansin sa kanya.
Kinabukasan, ginamit ko siya uli. Noong tanghali, napansin ko na lang na wala na sa braso ko yung anklet. "Nilayasan ka na ng anklet mo kasi hindi niya nakayanan na ginagawa mo siyang bracelet," sabi ng kaibigan ko.
Tinawanan ko lang siya. Pero napa-isip ako. Bakit ko ba kasi pinilit na gawing bracelet ang anklet? Parang pinipilit ko ang isang tao na umasta ng hindi naman natural sa kanya. Akala ko kasi, mas okay yun kasi nare-recognize siya, kahit na hindi naman talaga iyon ang purpose niya sa buhay.
Lesson learned: Ang anklet ay para sa ankle, hindi sa wrist. Hindi mo puwedeng idikta sa ibang tao kung ano ang dapat nilang gawin, at kung saan sila pupuwesto. Kahit na sabihin mo na para sa ikabubuti nila ang ginagawa mo, kung hindi naman sila masaya, bale wala rin. Baka mawala lang sila sa iyo.
Sabi nila, ang mundo daw ay isang napakalaking classroom kung saan ka hinahainan ng sari-saring leksyon tungkol sa buhay. Ano kaya ang puwedeng matututunan sa walang kulay na lipstick? O sa anti-dandruff na shampoo? O sa plastic eyelash curler? O sa pekeng Prada wallet na binebenta sa bangketa? Ah, ewan? makapag-lagay na nga lang ng bagong nail polish.
They say it's difficult...
To turn you're back to someone whom you really want to be with
To be pathetic to someone who you always want to sympathize with
To let someone feel that he is neglected when in fact he's very important
To show someone that you don't mind when in fact you care a lot
To pretend not to know what he's up to when in fact you know him and his details
To avoid someone when in fact you want to take a stolen glance
To find reasons for doing things you don't usually do when you know he's the only reason for doing so
To treat someone as an ordinary being when in fact he's really special
To let someone realize that his presence is naturally welcomed when in fact it creates an extraordinary excitement
To say things contrary to what you feel
To laugh aloud when in fact you really want to cry your heart out
To set someone free when you feel he's all that you have and the only one you love
To pretend you're not hurt when he's with someone else but you cry deep inside
To keep your feelings from someone when in fact you really want to show it
To avoid talking to someone when in fact you're dying just to hear his whisper
To run away when in fact you want to stay
To let you know that you're someone I'm talking aboutwhat hurts the most
WHAT REALLY HURTS...
-letting go of a person u've just learned to love
-reminiscing the good times u shared together
(so true...)
-shielding ur heart to love somebody
-trying to hide what u really feel
-trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from
ur eyes (HAAAAAY!!!)
-loving a person too much
-giving up someone u never thought of giving up
-having the right love at the wrong time
-taking the risk to fall in love again
-hiding ur relationship from someone else
-controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
-thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment
knowing all the while that he never even thinks a
single thought of you... (waah!!!!)
-letting go, because everytime you see the person, you
only fall deeper (hmmm...)
-holding back only to find out when it's too late, you
both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose
each other so much that you didn't let the feelings
out
-falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall
inlove with
-finding the perfect guy...with only one prob....he
doesnt love you... (...)
-helping the one you love "make ligaw" to your friend
-seeing the one you love crying for someone else
-the waiting also hurts like hell
(AHH...YES... THE WAITING...)
-having to hear "... I've met someone"
-agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
-asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with
her'
-asking u to 'forget that everything happened' and be
'normal' friends again.
-hearing that you're treated as a little sis..(ang sakit nun!)
-sharing his future plans for the girl with you..
-stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.
-being denied in front of people.
-telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was
with a 'new friend' or 'old flame' (whew!)
-he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex
-breaking someone's heart
-fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee
you his commitment unless he fix himself...then, you
are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time
will tell...ang labo lang niya...but you still
decided
to hope in him and trust him
-PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
(BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!)
-PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your
weakness
-lying in bed each night, thinking of that special
person you can never have...
-being with someone you can't actually love...
-pretending you don't love a person whom you actually
love...
-being in love...
-letting go even if you really don't want to... having
no right to say you are huting because it was your
decision
-seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and
not being able to help that person...
-having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person
you love and finding out afterwards that things will
never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with
the same closeness as before
-having to face the fact that someone is capable of
completely destroying the wall that you have set for
yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
-admitting that you love someone despite his
imperfections
-finding out that the more you try to hate him, the
more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than
before
-the thought that this guy, used to really love you
and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough
and so he gave up on you
-Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else.....
-making a promise....and realizing that when the time
has come for that promise to be delivered....the
commitment is no longer there...
-the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
(kaya nga....)
20 hakbang sa dambana
Isa... Dalawa… Tatlo...
Alam kong gasgas na ang linyang ito pero anu’t ano pa, hayaan mong sabihin kong walang anumang salita mula sa kahit ano pang lenguahe ang magbibigay kahulugan sa pakiramdam ko ngayon.
Ikakasal ka na.
Mula sa kinalalagyan ko, habang dahan dahan mong binabaybay ang gitna ng simbahan, hindi ko mapigilang lumuha ng maliliit na patak.
Ikaw ba talaga yan? Makailang pikit na ang ginawa ko, tinatanong ang sarili kung ikaw nga ba ang babaing nasa traje de boda. At kahit anong pikit ang gawin ko, ikaw nga iyon.
Parang kailan lang, kalaro kita kasama ang ibang bata. Alam ko pa ang itsura mo noon; tisay pero bulok ang ipin, naka-ponytail ka na palagi noon pa, at chubby. Bibo kang kalaro sa piko, pero kapag pikon ka na sa pang-aasar nila dahil sa lagi kang natutumba pag isang paa na lang ang gamit sa number 3 o kaya 4 na box sa piko, sa akin ka iiyak at aawayin ko sila. Madalas nila tayo tuksuhin pero wala lang sa iyo yon. Natutuwa naman ako noon dahil sa akin ka lumalapit. Para sa akin, ikaw na ang bestfriend ko.
Apat… Lima... Anim…
Binibilang ko ang mga hakbang mo sa altar. Ilang segundo na lang ay hindi ka na single. Masaya ka kaya habang naglalakad? May luha ka din sa mata, nakikita ko. Pero ang tanong na bumabalot sa isip ko ay kung luha ba yan ng kagalakan o kalungkutan.
Hindi kita naging kaklase sa grade school. Palibhasa palagi kang nasa star section. Sa service lang kita nakakasabay, at habang kumakain tayo ng cotton candy ay nagkukuwentuhan tayo tungkol sa mga nangyari sa araw natin sa school. At alam ko, nalulungkot ka noon kapag bababa na ako sa bahay namin. Magba-bye ako sayo habang aandar ang service at magtititigan tayo. Close tayo noong elementary. Ako ang bestfriend mong lalaki at ikaw naman ang tangi kong bestfriend na babae.
Pito... Walo... Siyam…
Mahal na mahal kita. At habang pinagmamasdan kita sa maganda mong gown ay parang natutunaw ako sa kinalalagyan ko. Nasa kalagitnaan ka na at maya maya pa ay magsisimula na ang seremonya.
Nag-high school tayo sa parehong school at sa kabutihang palad ay ka-section kita. Lalo pa tayong naging close kahit pa parating magkaaway ang mga barkada mong babae at ang mga barkada kong lalaki. Pero di gaya noong mga bata pa tayo, sa iba ka na tinutukso.
Sampu… Labing-isa… Labing-dalawa…
Pakiramdam ko, palakas nang palakas ang tugtog ng kasal habang papalapit ka sa altar. Nakangiti ka at kung minsa’y naititingin mo ang mata mo sa ibang taong nagagalak habang pinagmamasdan ka. Nasa sa iyo lahat ng atensyon.
Nagkaroon ka na ng maraming boyfriend. Ako namam ay umasa lamang na maibig mo. Wala akong naging ibang inalayan ng pagmamahal kundi ikaw. At tuwing pinapaiyak ka ng mga magagaling mong ex, telepono ko ang kumikiriring. Kaya nga noong nauso ang kantang “Halaga” ng Parokya ni Edgar, ay sobrang tinamaan ako.
Labing-tatlo… Labing-apat… Labing-lima…
Maligaya ka sa panahong to, alam ko. Ikaw pa, kilalang kilala na kita. Bestfriend kita eh. Mula ulo hanggang paa, kilala kita. Kakatawa pero naaalala ko pa noong mga bata tayo, alam ko na ang mga panty mo ay yung may burdang Monday, Tuesday, hanggang Friday. Alam ko na noong elementary ay galit ka sa Sibika at Kultura at sa Principal nating tinawag nating Miss Minchin. Noong highschool, alam ko pa kung sinu-sino ang mga naging crush mo. Kabisado na kita. Alam ko kung mainit ang ulo mo, kung malungkot ka, kung hindi maganda ang pakiramdam, kung nae-excite at lahat lahat.
Alam ko din kung maligaya ka. At kung hindi man ako nagkakamali, nararamdaman kong masaya ka ngayon habang patungo sa altar.
Labing-anim… Labing-pito… Labing walo…
Basta maligaya ka, masaya ako. Yun naman ang gusto ko parati, ang maligaya ka. At ang tanging hiling ko sa panahong ito ay ang panghabam-buhay mo nang kaligayahan.
Ayan na malapit ka na sa altar.
Labing-siyam..
Eksaktong ikalabing-siyam na ang ang hakbang mo, nabilang ko sa isip.
Congratulations. Masaya ako at alam kong masaya ka rin ngayong ikakasal ka na…
Dalawampu…
… sa akin.
things that makes you fly
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. 43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day. 43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly...
painful things...
1. flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see
2. bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget
3. showing that you care
4. finding a way to mend a broken heart
5. learning that you've been used by someone you truly love
6. saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't
7. letting go of a person you've just learned to love
8. realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted
9. realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with
10. waiting for promises you know she or he'll never keep
11. saying your love for someone who loves somebody else
12. reminiscing the good times u shared together
13. shielding your heart to love somebody
14. trying to hide what you really feel
15. having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last
16. trying to hide the tears that voluntarily fall from your eyes 1
7. sharing the one you love w/ someone else
18. loving a person too much
19. giving up someone you never thought of giving up
20. falling in love for the first time
21. loving someone you haven't seen
22. having the right love at the wrong time
23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work
24. not being appreciated when you know you've given your best
25. taking the risk to fall in love again
26. hiding your relationship from someone else
27. controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. choosing between two persons whom you really love
29. finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of
30. seeing the person you love with someone else
31. learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared
32. seeing the one you love fall for someone else
33. falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again
34. learning to trust after you have been betrayed
35. accepting that it was not meant to be
36. smiling when all you want to do is cry
37. falling and knowing that it can never be
38. not being able to love the person who truly cares for you
39. saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you
40. hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him
41. saying that you are over someone you still love
42. being friends again and learning to let go of each other coz you both know it is better that way
43. convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that you are
44. having to let go because you know that he deserves someone else
45. trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be..
Saturday, May 26, 2007
how to tick people off
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit.
Tree
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.
She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
People call me "Leaf".
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Wind
Because I like a girl called "Leaf". Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...
Moral
In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss?
This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. ..
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.
People call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after. She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her.
I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.
She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said, "Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
People call me "Leaf".
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Wind
Because I like a girl called "Leaf". Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I could n't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...
Moral
In love, we win very rarely, but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we stop loving someone, not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that, they'd be happier if we let go....
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss?
This is because THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE UNSEEN.
There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched our lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for them, it's when they ignore you and still you long for them. It's when they begin to love another and yet you smile and say, "I'm happy for you." If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.
The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand up when they fall. Somehow, along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize that there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly. Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. ..
It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Life's Instructions
Good Food For Thought:
Have a firm handshake.
Look people in the eye.
Sing in the shower.
Own a great stereo system.
If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
Keep secrets.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be.
No one can tell the difference.
Avoid sarcastic remarks.
Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90
per cent of all your happiness or misery.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people
who will never find out.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Never deprive someone of hope;
it might be all that they have.
When playing games with children, let them win.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.
Be romantic.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is
as important as it first seems.
Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for
your convenience, not the caller's.
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
Keep it simple. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to
cross the same river.
Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the
things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to
acknowledge those who helped you.
Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only
stay a few minutes.
Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
Once in a while, take the scenic route.
Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table,
Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how
trivial their job.
Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
Become someone's hero.
Marry only for love.
Count your blessings.
Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
Wave at the children on a school bus.
Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on our
ability to deal with people.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Have a firm handshake.
Look people in the eye.
Sing in the shower.
Own a great stereo system.
If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
Keep secrets.
Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be.
No one can tell the difference.
Avoid sarcastic remarks.
Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90
per cent of all your happiness or misery.
Make it a habit to do nice things for people
who will never find out.
Lend only those books you never care to see again.
Never deprive someone of hope;
it might be all that they have.
When playing games with children, let them win.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.
Be romantic.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is
as important as it first seems.
Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for
your convenience, not the caller's.
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
Keep it simple. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to
cross the same river.
Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the
things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to
acknowledge those who helped you.
Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only
stay a few minutes.
Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
Once in a while, take the scenic route.
Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table,
Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how
trivial their job.
Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
Become someone's hero.
Marry only for love.
Count your blessings.
Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
Wave at the children on a school bus.
Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on our
ability to deal with people.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Love and Relationships
- There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
- I think, therefore I'm single.
- If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.
- Something tells me that I shouldn't date until the world makes sense again.
- Divorce - from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.
- Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
- Some women get excited about nothing, and then marry him.
- Misery doesn't love company... Nowadays, it insists on it.
- If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.
- Always remember: one good turn gets most of the blankets.
- Everyone needs to be loved. Especially when they don't deserve it.
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend; but she left me before we met.
- Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.
- Marriage: an expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
- Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
- A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
- Love means telling you why you're sorry.
- Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
- Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
- Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.
- Sex is like air. It isn't important unless you're not getting any.
- Someone once told me that love makes the world go 'round. Well, I just had to laugh in their face because, c'mon, everyone knows that what makes the world go 'round is a mutant gerbil on a treadmill.
- Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
- Marriage is a fine institution. but I don't think I'm ready to be put in an institution yet.
- I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- I'm still single because my family-in-law cannot have children.
- I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.
- He broke my heart...so I broke his jaw.
- Early to bed, early to rise, and your girlfriend goes out with other guys.
- Love is a merry little elf who dances a jig, then turns on you with a machine gun.
- Women are like hurricanes: when they come they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take the house and the car.
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