the boy [space] friend

***maan will kill me for this...***

This might be the first and last time I'll write about this certain guy. I'm writing this so as to let him know that even though years have passed, I have never ever forgotten all about him. I have to admit, he will always be an important part of my life because I learned some of life's important lesson that I still can't understand until now - and that is about guys.

His name is Francis. I met him when I was in second grade. We were bus mates, and at the same time, classmates. We share nothing in common. Nothing, really. But for the rest of my grade school years, he was there with me. It's not hate at first sight. We play, we joke around, we buy food together, we had common friends. I didn't know why, but people started to tease us together. I hated the thought of him being teased to me, because I have an ultimate crush on my first grade seat mate that time. That's why whenever I can, I start a fight with him. I know he hated it when he's being teased to me, that's why he teases me "Ms. Piggy" just to annoy me. And oh yeah, he knows my deepest, darkest secret... and I try to bribe him so that he'll not tell everyone about it!

I remember in third grade, we used to sit together at the front seat of our school bus (or school Tamarraw FX). From what I remember, I was enjoying his company that time. We were talking about... hmmm... I forgot... maybe a cartoon we watched that weekend. I really don't know... but we sat next to each other, and we talked... just like how normal best buds would talk. Then, there's our bus mates behind us, teasing us again. "Uy... si Francis at si Kristina... uy!" After that, I got awkward to each other again and he never sat beside me again.

Fourth grade came. He became a popular kid because of his basketball skills and because he's one of the rowdy guys at school. We never talked, maybe because he thought he's way to cool to hang out with me. The fifth grade came, and our friendship was renewed. We were starting to get close again, then my stupid mouth ruined everything. My classmates and I were playing truth or dare. She asked if Francis is my crush, and becaue I want to keep my crush a secret (he's a guy in my school bus, a year older that me), I told her, "Yes". Then she started to shout what I said to her. I tried to stop her, but it was too late. Later at the school bus, he came up to me. I was asking him if he heard the news, and he just gave me this boyish grin. I explained to him that it was a game etc. etc. etc. and I told him he will never ever be my type.

We became classmates again in sixth grade. He sat behind me. We were always together, but we had our own set of friends. As days passes by, he became more annoying. He was my number 1 enemy, and so was I to him. But even though we have this hate-hate relationship, he always shows that he cares for me. He goes to my house once in a while, especially when I'm absent. He tells me about our assignments, and one time, he defended me from my friend-turned-enemy busmate. He was there, but I was never there for him. I left him hanging in the air. I don't know, maybe because I'm scared of what people will think about us. I tired of people telling us how good we look together, or some people who thinks he's my boyfriend.

We still kept in touch after we graduated. I do send him cards on his birthday, and I tried to set him up with my girl friends. My best friend even badgered me to make him my prom date, since I'm still dateless. But I never did. It took me 2 years to get away from people who thinks he's my boyfriend, and I don't want them to think that he is if he becomes my date. I totally forgot him when I met my first love. I totally forgot all about him when I had boyfriends. After high school, we never saw each other again.

There are a lot of questions in my mind when I think of him. What if my hate towards him really means that I am in love with him? Why would he always come at my house? Was he trying to court me? If so, why me? Her had a lot of crushes, and most of them are prettier than me. I can't believe he's the first friend who came to my house, and my grandma became so fond of him. What would happen if he became my prom date? Will I realize that he's much worthy of me than the guy who broke my heart? What if we became a couple? Are we still gonna be together? and why the hell am I even thinking about these things?

I guess these questions will remain unanswered. I'm looking forward to the day that we will see each other again. Hopefully, people would see us as a good friends instead of lovers. Yep. I hope people will see him as my boy friend. A good one. The one I want to treasure for the rest of my life...

P.S.

OK, so maybe I'm thinking a lot. I'm not even sure if it was Francis who stopped by my house last Sunday. I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, but when my mom told me about a guy looking for me, I suddenly remembered those happy times I had with Francis. It's just that I'm used to beating him up, annoying him, fighting with him... but then I realized I'm missing him as a friend. I miss running after him after he tells me how fat I am. I could use some exercise!